My Baby Brother Died on Wednesday................

[Guest guest]

Hi to all of you all over the world who followed my sporadic postings

about my brother Nigel, who died of Cancer this week.

Nigel was diagnosed in March of this year, around Mothers day, with

Oesophagul Cancer. He lost his battle on Wednesday the 24th of

September this year at approx 6.20 in the evening.

Watching my brother die over the last 9 months, in particular the last

three days, was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and I

never thought that I would hurt any worse than that. On Thursday I

struggled to get out of bed and then was told I needed to be with the

family, I am very private and grieve as such, they don't understand

that. I was told that evening that my brother had requested that my

husband was not to be at the funeral regarding a very old disagreement.

I was obviously very upset and angry but after reading Asian ladys

postings I found peace and although difficult felt I could deal with it.

My husband now feels I have a choice to make and need to choose, we

also have my god daughters wedding the day after the funeral which he

is now refusing to attend. I cant believe I have lost my brother and

my husband is being that way. Has anyone any words of wisdom, is this

an orchestrated situation? A last laugh? What is life about if there

is no forgiveness and always choices good and bad??? x

[Guest guest]

You poor thing! I can only imagine the pain you are experiencing at this horrible time in your life. Knowing that this will all pass is no consolation. The only thing that strikes me right now is that your husband must be hurting, too. Regardless of how you felt about your brother it was kind of cruel for him to put that burden on you. If you love your husband I think you should stand by him and remember that when a woman marries she "cleaves" to her husband and leaves her family behind. Choices you make now will be with you forever.

My heart goes out to you,

Beverle

[Guest guest]

, " dawnaltoft "

<dawn_altoft wrote:

 

> I was obviously very upset and angry but after reading Asian ladys

> postings I found peace and although difficult felt I could deal with it.

 

Hi Dawn, It sounds as though your husband was very hurt by your

brothers request. IF I was in your husband shoes was to go to a

wedding where I would feel these people did not want me there I

would not feel comfortable in going. Could someone from your god

daughters family come and personally ask your husband to come and

that they would like him to be there? He might feel as though

everyone is looking down on him. At the same time it puts you into a

very awkward position. If your husband does not wish to go that is

his choice but he should not be asking you to choose sides.

Possibly he feels threatened and is wondering if you are on his side.

Sometimes when we are hurt we feel desserted and it makes us wonder

who really cares about us. I wish you luck. Try talking with your

husband again. Let him know you are not happy about the way your

brother treated him but at the same time ask him if he feels it is

fair to punish your god daughter for something she has no control

over? All the best Edith

[Guest guest]

Edith,

Thanks for your kind words, please keep in touch, you are a treasure and someone I feel I could lean on xxxKindest Regards Dawn AltoftMargaretta House

 

 

From: edefreedom1945Date: Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:24:08 +0000 Re: My Baby Brother Died on Wednesday................

 

 

 

, "dawnaltoft"<dawn_altoft wrote:> I was obviously very upset and angry but after reading Asian ladys > postings I found peace and although difficult felt I could deal with it.Hi Dawn, It sounds as though your husband was very hurt by yourbrothers request. IF I was in your husband shoes was to go to awedding where I would feel these people did not want me there Iwould not feel comfortable in going. Could someone from your goddaughters family come and personally ask your husband to come andthat they would like him to be there? He might feel as thougheveryone is looking down on him. At the same time it puts you into avery awkward position. If your husband does not wish to go that ishis choice but he should not be asking you to choose sides. Possibly he feels threatened and is wondering if you are on his side.Sometimes when we are hurt we feel desserted and it makes us wonderwho really cares about us. I wish you luck. Try talking with yourhusband again. Let him know you are not happy about the way yourbrother treated him but at the same time ask him if he feels it isfair to punish your god daughter for something she has no control over? All the best Edith Try Facebook in ! Try it Now!

[Guest guest]

Thanks Beverle

for your kind words, please keep in touch, my husband is hurting badly and is untouchable at the moment. His anger is such that I removed myself and the children from the house last night for fear of our safety. I have given him a wide berth and respected his 'cave' today. Not sure what tomorrow will bring xKindest Regards Dawn AltoftMargaretta House

 

 

From: redbeverleDate: Sat, 27 Sep 2008 16:04:21 -0400Re: My Baby Brother Died on Wednesday................

 

 

 

You poor thing! I can only imagine the pain you are experiencing at this horrible time in your life. Knowing that this will all pass is no consolation. The only thing that strikes me right now is that your husband must be hurting, too. Regardless of how you felt about your brother it was kind of cruel for him to put that burden on you. If you love your husband I think you should stand by him and remember that when a woman marries she "cleaves" to her husband and leaves her family behind. Choices you make now will be with you forever.

My heart goes out to you,

Beverle

Win ¡ò3000 to spend on whatever you want at Uni! Click here to WIN!

[Guest guest]

Dawn if you ever need to lean on me please feel free. I have 2 shoulders, for you to cry on, 2 hands to help lift you when you have fallen. 2 feet to walk with you when the road seems too lonely, 2 ears to listen to what ever you want to say. If you wish you can email me privately Edith

 

-

dawn altoft

health_and_healing

Sunday, September 28, 2008 5:19 PM

RE: Re: My Baby Brother Died on Wednesday................

 

 

Edith,Thanks for your kind words, please keep in touch, you are a treasure and someone I feel I could lean on xxxKindest Regards Dawn AltoftMargaretta House

 

From: edefreedom1945 (AT) wightman (DOT) caDate: Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:24:08 +0000 Re: My Baby Brother Died on Wednesday................

 

 

, "dawnaltoft"<dawn_altoft wrote:> I was obviously very upset and angry but after reading Asian ladys > postings I found peace and although difficult felt I could deal with it.Hi Dawn, It sounds as though your husband was very hurt by yourbrothers request. IF I was in your husband shoes was to go to awedding where I would feel these people did not want me there Iwould not feel comfortable in going. Could someone from your goddaughters family come and personally ask your husband to come andthat they would like him to be there? He might feel as thougheveryone is looking down on him. At the same time it puts you into avery awkward position. If your husband does not wish to go that ishis choice but he should not be asking you to choose sides. Possibly he feels threatened and is wondering if you are on his side.Sometimes when we are hurt we feel desserted and it makes us wonderwho really cares about us. I wish you luck. Try talking with yourhusband again. Let him know you are not happy about the way yourbrother treated him but at the same time ask him if he feels it isfair to punish your god daughter for something she has no control over? All the best Edith

 

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[Guest guest]

Hi

I 've been reading much and not really responding to anything that has been posted.

Until now.

First of all sorry about your loss. Our sympathies out to you and you will be in our prayers.

That request is only a request to satisfy your loved one. Your husband is being honorable of the wishes an if you invite him and say you need him, chances are he will be there for you. A funeral is actually for the ones left behind or what is called a celebration of life and to carry on with out the loved and share the memories. You should ask the family and see what they say and if they don't mind then...well have him go with you.

As for the wedding, our life must move on. If your not too tired I would encourage both of you to go. Life is short, move forward, there always has to be saddness with joy and happiness to make things balance out.

Take care,

in love and light

j--- On Sat, 9/27/08, dawnaltoft <dawn_altoft wrote:

dawnaltoft <dawn_altoft My Baby Brother Died on Wednesday................ Date: Saturday, September 27, 2008, 12:58 PM

 

 

Hi to all of you all over the world who followed my sporadic postings about my brother Nigel, who died of Cancer this week.Nigel was diagnosed in March of this year, around Mothers day, with Oesophagul Cancer. He lost his battle on Wednesday the 24th of September this year at approx 6.20 in the evening.Watching my brother die over the last 9 months, in particular the last three days, was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and I never thought that I would hurt any worse than that. On Thursday I struggled to get out of bed and then was told I needed to be with the family, I am very private and grieve as such, they don't understand that. I was told that evening that my brother had requested that my husband was not to be at the funeral regarding a very old disagreement.I was obviously very upset and angry but after reading Asian ladys postings I found peace and although difficult felt I

could deal with it.My husband now feels I have a choice to make and need to choose, we also have my god daughters wedding the day after the funeral which he is now refusing to attend. I cant believe I have lost my brother and my husband is being that way. Has anyone any words of wisdom, is this an orchestrated situation? A last laugh? What is life about if there is no forgiveness and always choices good and bad??? x

[Guest guest]

---hi dawn

much support to you for a start ....and healing

quite a thing to witness ...

but be assured he is in a better place now and perhaps in time when

you are ready you will explore life after death far more , and in time

come to realise thst there is no death at all

merely a shift out of this physical body into another more suited ..

when you are ready perhaps a good medium or a spiritualist church or

in your dreams you will get mesages ...

i have daily experiences with people on the other side of life ,,it

can be a pain getting rid of them believe me ...

best for now

phll In , " dawnaltoft "

<dawn_altoft wrote:

>

> Hi to all of you all over the world who followed my sporadic postings

> about my brother Nigel, who died of Cancer this week.

> Nigel was diagnosed in March of this year, around Mothers day, with

> Oesophagul Cancer. He lost his battle on Wednesday the 24th of

> September this year at approx 6.20 in the evening.

> Watching my brother die over the last 9 months, in particular the last

> three days, was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and I

> never thought that I would hurt any worse than that. On Thursday I

> struggled to get out of bed and then was told I needed to be with the

> family, I am very private and grieve as such, they don't understand

> that. I was told that evening that my brother had requested that my

> husband was not to be at the funeral regarding a very old disagreement.

> I was obviously very upset and angry but after reading Asian ladys

> postings I found peace and although difficult felt I could deal with it.

> My husband now feels I have a choice to make and need to choose, we

> also have my god daughters wedding the day after the funeral which he

> is now refusing to attend. I cant believe I have lost my brother and

> my husband is being that way. Has anyone any words of wisdom, is this

> an orchestrated situation? A last laugh? What is life about if there

> is no forgiveness and always choices good and bad??? x

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your kind words, I am a believer in 'life after death' whatever that is and was very comforted to watch my brother have a conversation with the other side about an hour before his passing, nodding his head in agreement that he was ready to let go. xKindest Regards Dawn AltoftMargaretta House

 

From: phoDate: Mon, 29 Sep 2008 09:49:25 +0000 Re: My Baby Brother Died on Wednesday................

 

 

 

---hi dawn much support to you for a start ....and healing quite a thing to witness ...but be assured he is in a better place now and perhaps in time whenyou are ready you will explore life after death far more , and in timecome to realise thst there is no death at all merely a shift out of this physical body into another more suited ..when you are ready perhaps a good medium or a spiritualist church orin your dreams you will get mesages ...i have daily experiences with people on the other side of life ,,itcan be a pain getting rid of them believe me ...best for now phll In , "dawnaltoft"<dawn_altoft wrote:>> Hi to all of you all over the world who followed my sporadic postings > about my brother Nigel, who died of Cancer this week.> Nigel was diagnosed in March of this year, around Mothers day, with > Oesophagul Cancer. He lost his battle on Wednesday the 24th of > September this year at approx 6.20 in the evening.> Watching my brother die over the last 9 months, in particular the last > three days, was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and I > never thought that I would hurt any worse than that. On Thursday I > struggled to get out of bed and then was told I needed to be with the > family, I am very private and grieve as such, they don't understand > that. I was told that evening that my brother had requested that my > husband was not to be at the funeral regarding a very old disagreement.> I was obviously very upset and angry but after reading Asian ladys > postings I found peace and although difficult felt I could deal with it.> My husband now feels I have a choice to make and need to choose, we > also have my god daughters wedding the day after the funeral which he > is now refusing to attend. I cant believe I have lost my brother and > my husband is being that way. Has anyone any words of wisdom, is this > an orchestrated situation? A last laugh? What is life about if there > is no forgiveness and always choices good and bad??? x> Get Hotmail on your mobile from Vodafone Try it Now!