Simple Acts of Forgiveness

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Simple Acts of Forgiveness by Andrei Yashurin

Forgiveness seems to be difficult for some people, because their view is general rather than personal. They ask, for instance, how could someone forgive such horrible crimes as genocide, extreme cases of cruelty and injustice. They don't feel that they would be able to forgive if they were victims of those crimes.

However, there are no "ifs" about forgiveness. Forgiveness is always personal and relates only to our experiences. Unless we make forgiveness personal, we might never really get a hold of it. So, don't ask how others could forgive the things done against them, no matter what are those things. Ask how you can forgive that which was done against you.

When you develop empathy on a daily basis, it surely helps you to forgive small offences and small acts of unkindness which you encounter almost every day. As it becomes your practice, you feel much better. You will like to stay peaceful, calm, and optimistic in situations where before you got angry, hostile, and full of self-pity. The truth is, nobody likes to be boiling inside – people just get used to it. They allow their emotions to become wild because they mistakenly think that it is the only option available to them.

Daily practice of forgiveness will create a mental field of peacefulness around you. You might notice that others will become more peaceful in your presence. It is a natural effect of our personal transformation, because others reflect our deep-seated thoughts and attitudes.

At times, you will still get angry at others. This is also normal – you don't have to expect yourself to be perfect. Don't blame yourself for being unable to live up to your own standards. Don't repress your genuine emotions when they come. Allow yourself to feel that which you feel – and then start letting go of those feelings, gently and easily. Forgive yourself, and be at peace with yourself.

Even if you don't feel like forgiving but understand the importance of this practice, repeat it out loud when you are alone: "I forgive". Words of affirmations are powerful. Their effect is greater than we usually realize.

When you speak to yourself in a clear and direct way, it helps you to become and to stay focused on certain ideas which, according to your knowledge, will benefit you. Your whole being will come to alignment with those ideas. Affirmations are not magical, but they work even for those people who doubt their usefulness – of course, if they are practiced on a regular basis.

Let us mention one more thing – do not talk about your feelings with those who reinforce your anger or self-pity. Don't talk to those individuals, even if they are your friends. Certainly, emotions should be expressed. You may write them in a dairy. Some people recommend writing down your offences on a sheet of paper and then burning it, saying: "I forgive and let go". However, do not invite others to participate in your forgiveness work, unless you are sure that they are mature enough to help you. This is not an absolute law, but a good rule to follow.