Mammograms

February 12, 2007

Mammograms

(Author unknown)

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.

EXERCISE ONE: Open your refrigerator door and insert one naked breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE TWO:Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with another stranger to meet next year and do it again.

YOU ARE NOW TOTALLY PREPARED!

AND, just a thought for all you women out there... MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause... Ever notice how all of your problems start with MEN?.........And When women have real trouble it's a HISterectomy!!!!

Send this to all the women you know for a laugh!!! If you don't forward this to at least 7 women you know, your ass will fall off. And how do I know this??? I heard it from my Barber's Wife's Second Cousin's Hairdresser.

And don't forget to set an appointment for your mammogram. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:-)

Doc

Doc Shillington727-447-5282Doc