re: OT joke/anger management

[Guest guest]

there are times when this 'may' seem appropriate! LOL

deb

 

 

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just needto take it

out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on

someone you don't know.

 

It all started one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a

phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed.

 

A man answered, saying, " Hello. "

 

I politely said, " This is Chris. May I please speak with Robin Carter? "

 

 

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that

anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and

called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, " You're an ass! " and

hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'ass' next to it, and

put it in my drawer.

 

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,

I'd call him up and yell, " You're an ass. " It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'ass calling

would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, " Hi, this is John

Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're

interested in the Caller ID program? " He yelled, " NO! " and slammed the

phone down. I quickly called him back and said, " That's because you're

an ass "

 

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had

patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting

for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a " For Sale " sign in

his car window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later,

right after calling the first ass, (I had his number on speed dial ), I

thought I had better call the BMW ass, too. I said, " Is this the man

with the black BMW for sale? " " Yes, it is. " " Can you tell me where I can

see it? " " Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house,

and the car's parked right out front. " " What's your name? " I asked. " My

name is Don Hansen, " he said. " When's a good time to catch you, Don? "

" I'm home every evening after five. " " Listen, Don, can I tell you

something? " " Yes? " " Don, you're an ass. " Then I hung up, and added

his number to my speed dial, too.

 

Now, when I had a problem, I had two asses to call. But after several

months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I

came up with an idea. I called Ass #1. " Hello. " " You're an ass! " (But

I didn't hang up.) " Are you still there? " he asked. " Yeah, " I said.

" Stop calling me, " he screamed. " Make me, " I said. " Who are you? " he

asked. " My name is Don Hansen. " " Yeah? Where do you live? " " I live at

1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in

front. " He said, " I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better

start saying your prayers " I said, " Yeah, like I'm really scared, Ass. "

 

Then I called Ass #2. " Hello? " he said. " Hello, Ass, " I said. He yelled,

" If I ever find out who you are! " " You'll what? " I said. " I'll kick

your ass, " he exclaimed. I answered, " Well here's your chance. I'm

coming over right now. " Then I hung up and immediately called the

police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on

my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 3 News

about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my

car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two asses beating

the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police

helicopter, and a news crew.

 

NOW, I feel better. Anger management really works.

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

this is hysterical!!!!

 

 

 

Herbal hugs, Helaine

Herbal teas and more!

www.misshelaineous.com

 

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