Guest guest Posted June 9, 2004 Report Share Posted June 9, 2004 I think, many people simply enjoy exciting life style, but also some people are actually afraid of having a quiet time and having to face themselves. Those people often have several addictions, too. My mom grew up in Tokyo during the WW2, and she often had to eat in dark, dead quiet, fearing for airstrikes. When radio said that B29s were coming to that direction, she had to run for a shelter, and listening to the sound of planes and bombings in the dark, trying not to breath too loud. Now she can't take quiet, peaceful, slow life for herself. TV is always turned on, she talks a lot and loud, she needs constant attention, and she has to keep moving constantly. She buys a lot of stuff, she hates waiting on a line, too. When my parents visited here, she liked Las Vegas better than Grand Canyon! I didn't understand why she does this until lately, though. She loves bright, intense orange color (just like the cover of Complete idiot's guide series), and decorated my room all orange when I was a kid. I hated it, it's very agitating, but she said it's a lively color. But when there was a big wild fire here in LA last year, I saw the sky turned into the blood orange, exactly the color she loves, then I realized that it's what she saw in the morning after an airstrike when she came out of the shelter, and felt that she was still alive. Just guessing, maybe people long for a quiet life because they know that it's for their own healing, but once they get it, they are too afraid to take the advantages. Akiko Renee Votta <reneev wrote: And city people can't stand to live alone. Back in Illinois where I was, it was mostly farm land. And during the late 70's and early 80's a lot of farmers lost their land or had to sell it. We were only 1 hour from Chicago, so lots of city people that were tired of living in the city would come out and buy LAND. lol They'd be so excited to have an acre of land, maybe even TWO, while still being close enough to drive to work every day (!!!--I would never drive that far, one way, to go to work). Thing is, instead of building their homes in the middle of their land, they'd build right smack on one property line, so the person next to them could build right beside them!!!! I just never got that. It seemed they couldn't be comfortable without being able to look out their window and look directly into someone else's window. Weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 Akiko Thanks for sharing the story about your mom and ww2!!! Herbal hugs, Helaine Herbal teas and more! www.misshelaineous.com _______________ Is your PC infected? Get a FREE online computer virus scan from McAfee® Security. http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 I grew up in Illinois too and also remember my friends losing/selling off farmland in the early 80s that had been in their families for generations. Very sad that time was. But your thought here is exactly why my husband and I were happy to find a corner lot with the house in the middle of the lot and a big ol tree between the house's bay window and the street. There is strategic planting that the previous owners did that really doesn't let people peek in from the street and we don't necessarily see our neighbors. Realtor thought the bushes were scraggly, planted w/ odd spacing etc. But we liked the privacy they provide just fine!! Dale Renee Votta <reneev wrote: Thing is, instead of building their homes in the middle of their land, they'd build right smack on one property line, so the person next to them could build right beside them!!!! I just never got that. It seemed they couldn't be comfortable without being able to look out their window and look directly into someone else's window. Weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 Akiko, very astute of you to figure out why your Mom does what she does and likes what she does. I bet finally figuring that out helped make a difference in how you both perceive her and get along with her. Bless her heart--she went through a lot, and has learned to cope with it in a way that made sense to her. It would be wonderful if you could just get her to accept slowing down, though! <grin> Peace and quiet are just plain good for the soul. But, as her constant movements probably make her feel safe, then that is what works for her. And you could be correct about the city people that can't be alone--I never thought of it that way--perhaps they just feel safe in numbers. Me---I want to be where there ain't nobody! lol samala Renee " tossed down to live among angels, who have forgotten what they are, I strive to remember " RLV 1998 ---- My mom grew up in Tokyo during the WW2, and she often had to eat in dark, dead quiet, fearing for airstrikes. When radio said that B29s were coming to that direction, she had to run for a shelter, and listening to the sound of planes and bombings in the dark, trying not to breath too loud. Now she can t take quiet, peaceful, slow life for herself. TV is always turned on, she talks a lot and loud, she needs constant attention, and she has to keep moving constantly. She buys a lot of stuff, she hates waiting on a line, too When my parents visited here, she liked Las Vegas better than Grand Canyon! I didn't understand why she does this until lately, though. She loves bright intense orange color (just like the cover of Complete idiot's guide series) and decorated my room all orange when I was a kid. I hated it, it's very agitating, but she said it's a lively color. But when there was a big wild fire here in LA last year, I saw the sky turned into the blood orange, exactly the color she loves, then I realized that it's what she saw in the morning after an airstrike when she came out of the shelter, and felt that she was still alive. Just guessing, maybe people long for a quiet life because they know that it s for their own healing, but once they get it, they are too afraid to take the advantages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 12, 2004 Report Share Posted June 12, 2004 Thanks, Renee. Yes, it helped me a lot. Now I can see that she is actually a wounded and scared child inside, I can be little bit more compassionate. She was forced to slow down couple years ago, when she broke her hip and had to stay on a hospital bed for 2 months. I couldn't visit her during that time, because I was in a middle of INS process and couldn't leave here, but when I saw her later, I noticed that she had slightly changed. Before, she got scared when I or my sister tried to talk about will or estate planning. But after the injury, she was willing to talk about it with my sister, and agreed to sell the old house and move into a new place right next to my sister's. I guess, she probably faced her fear of death, and sorted out something that relieved her. I happened have a very large personal space, too. : ) Akiko Renee Votta <reneev wrote: Akiko, very astute of you to figure out why your Mom does what she does and likes what she does. I bet finally figuring that out helped make a difference in how you both perceive her and get along with her. Bless her heart--she went through a lot, and has learned to cope with it in a way that made sense to her. It would be wonderful if you could just get her to accept slowing down, though! Peace and quiet are just plain good for the soul. But, as her constant movements probably make her feel safe, then that is what works for her. And you could be correct about the city people that can't be alone--I never thought of it that way--perhaps they just feel safe in numbers. Me---I want to be where there ain't nobody! lol Friends. Fun. Try the all-new Messenger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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