the vampire, dietician and staff educationalist!

May 24, 2008

Maybe inappropriate, but I am going to tell you a tale. I reckon you will see that the Australian 'Illness System' (well can you really call it health care?) is pretty much the same as that of the USA and Great Brittain.

I am not complaining, just making some observations:

In hospitals they seem to delight in drawing tubes and tubes of blood, until you think you must have an empty arm! My doctors decided it was time (again) to test for everything under the sun, and perhaps under the suns of far away solar systems as well. Turns out that for some unknown reason I was bled two days running (copiously) for the exact same tests! Did someone accidentally pour my first lot down the drain?

The following day as I was just beginning to tuck into my lunch, a young dietician came to visit, telling me in her happy little voice, 'your bloods are back and there are some serious problems which we will need to address, by altering your diet!' Now anyone who knows me well, will KNOW that NO ONE messes around with my food/diet regime without dialoguing with me and having good cause. I have spent many years fine tuning what I consume due to gluten intolerance, milk intolerance and latex-fruit syndrome. I eat only gluten free grains in small quantities, copious amounts of (safe) fruits and vegetables and small amounts of plain cooked meat or fish. Gluten free cookies are a filler sometimes when I can sneak them in.

This young lady informed me that my Potassium levels were off the scale, therefore my vegetables and fruits were going to be severely restricted. I think my first reaction was to ask her what was left to eat after they took into consideration my present dietary restrictions?

After I drew breath - so as NOT to choke on what I was consuming ( and her also), I politely (well maybe not so politely) informed her that she could sit down and discuss this with me, because I wanted facts before anyone messed with my diet! She agreed to come back after the lunch recess and bring some materials we could read over, to plan my new diet regime!

Ten minutes later she popped her head around my bedside curtain to inform me that my current eating plan was safe...... they had somehow gotten my hospital records mixed up with someone else's blood test results!!!!!

I was gracious I think! after all it is such an easy error to make isn't it? NOT.

Ahhhhhhh I can sleep upright leaning on a bamboo pole, I am fortunate, I do not require sleeping pills to get me to sleep in the hospital surroundings. So, snoring quietly (I expect) at around 11.30pm, I was shaken awake by one of the night nursing team, and asked if I would mind telling her what actually happens to me in a LATEX environment.

I am known to take hours to come out of sleep fog...... she is lucky I did not tell her in four letter expletives, where she could go! Apparently I am an 'unusual' case, and the night staff team were discussing my allergy/syndrome as part of their learning process. I understand the need to do this, I just did not appreciate the 11.30pm awakening.

Needless to say the following day the nursing unit manager came a calling, asking if I was happy with the care they were taking with the removal of latex from my immediate vicinity? Offering me a private room if I was not happy.......... Oh My..... Oh Me...... Oh NO thankyou.... ( was I that aggressive with the poor night nurse?) I hate talking to four walls, at least out in my four bed ward I had life going on around me and others to share it with.......

I have been admitted three times this year into the same hospital, I had hoped they would have got used to my 'special needs' by now....... most things can be shrugged off, but NO ONE is going mess with my diet and serve me mushy peas ...... ever! Beware of hospital dieticians, vampires and staff educationalists.

Just sharing,

Clare in Tassie

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