Fwd: [arubyrogers] Pet Diary....LOL

[Guest guest]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DOG DIARY :

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY:

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre

little

dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other

inmates and

I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my

contempt for the

rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order

to keep up

my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of

escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I

decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I

had hoped

this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly

demonstrates what I

am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about

what a

'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

placed in

solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could

hear the

noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to

the power

of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my

 

advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors

by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again

tomorrow --

but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and

snitches. The dog

receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to

be more

than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with

the guards

regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors

have arranged

protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.....

for now...