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DEMOCRAT

 

You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.

You feel guilty for being successful.

 

You push for higher taxes so the

government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN

 

You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.

So?

SOCIALIST

 

You have two cows.

The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST

 

You have two cows.

The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

You wait in line for hours to get it.

It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM,

AMERICAN STYLE

 

You have two cows.

You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY,

AMERICAN STYLE

 

You have two cows.

Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the

other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN

CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.

 

You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are

surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the

analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.

Your stock goes up.

FRENCH

CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.

You go to lunch and drink wine.

Life is good.

JAPANESE

CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and

produce twenty times the milk.

They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.

Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN

CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give

excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.

Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN

CORPORATION

 

You have two cows but you don't know where

they are.

You break for lunch.

Life is good.

RUSSIAN

CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

You have some vodka.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You have some more vodka.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN

CORPORATION

 

You have all the cows in

 

Afghanistan, which are two.

You don't milk them because you cannot touch any

creature's

private parts.

You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives

to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI

CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

They go into hiding.

They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH

CORPORATION

 

You have two bulls.

Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN

CORPORATION

 

You have one cow.

The cow is schizophrenic.

Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.

The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.

The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.

The cow asks permission to be cut in half.

The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA

CORPORATION

 

You have a black cow and a brown cow.

Everyone votes for the best looking one.

Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote

for the black one.

Some people vote for both.

Some people vote for neither.

Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.

Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think

is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA

CORPORATION

 

You have millions of cows.

They make real

California

cheese.

Only five speak English.

Most are illegal.

Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

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Guest guest

, Lynn Ward <lynnward

wrote:

>

>

>

>

> >DEMOCRAT

> >You have two cows.

> >Your neighbor has none.

> >You feel guilty for being successful.

> >You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for

everyone.

> >REPUBLICAN

> >You have two cows.

> >Your neighbor has none.

> >So?

> >SOCIALIST

> >You have two cows.

> >The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

> >You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

> >COMMUNIST

> >You have two cows.

> >The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

> >You wait in line for hours to get it.

> >It is expensive and sour.

> >CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

> >You have two cows.

> >You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

> >BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

> >You have two cows.

> >Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one,

> >milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

> >AMERICAN CORPORATION

> >You have two cows.

> >You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd

one.

> >You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are

> >surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the

> >analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.

> >Your stock goes up.

> >FRENCH CORPORATION

> >You have two cows.

> >You go on strike because you want three cows.

> >You go to lunch and drink wine.

> >Life is good.

> >JAPANESE CORPORATION

> >You have two cows.

> >You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary

cow

> >and produce twenty times the milk.

> >They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.

> >Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

> >GERMAN CORPORATION

> >You have two cows.

> >You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give

> >excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.

> >Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

> >ITALIAN CORPORATION

> >You have two cows but you don't know where they are.

> >You break for lunch.

> >Life is good.

> >RUSSIAN CORPORATION

> >You have two cows.

> >You have some vodka.

> >You count them and learn you have five cows.

> >You have some more vodka.

> >You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

> >The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really

have.

> >TALIBAN CORPORATION

> >You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.

> >You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's

private parts.

> >You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find

> >alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

> >IRAQI CORPORATION

> >You have two cows.

> >They go into hiding.

> >They send radio tapes of their mooing.

> >POLISH CORPORATION

> >You have two bulls.

> >Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

> >BELGIAN CORPORATION

> >You have one cow.

> >The cow is schizophrenic.

> >Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.

> >The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.

> >The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.

> >The cow asks permission to be cut in half.

> >The cow dies happy.

> >FLORIDA CORPORATION

> >You have a black cow and a brown cow.

> >Everyone votes for the best looking one.

> >Some of the people who actually like the brown one best

accidentally

> >vote for the black one.

> >Some people vote for both.

> >Some people vote for neither.

> >Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.

> >Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you

> >think is the best-looking cow.

> >CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

> >You have millions of cows.

> >They make real California cheese.

> >Only five speak English.

> >Most are illegal.

> >Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

 

> BRIT CORPORATION

 

You have 2 cows age 3

After 3 they will probabley have foot and mouth and be put down

They are forced fed on a diet of jerry springer twice a day

taken annually on a trip to spain

made to fetch tacky presents back for their relations

lose the will to live and throw themselves on the nearest government

inspector of livestock

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Guest guest

At 05:22 AM 4/4/2008, you wrote:

Wish I knew who had originated this - I'd send them your

contribution......*smile*

Lynn

 

> >DEMOCRAT

> >You have two cows.

> >Your neighbor has none.

> >You feel guilty for being successful.

> >You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for

 

everyone.

> >REPUBLICAN

> >You have two cows.

> >Your neighbor has none.

> >So?

> >SOCIALIST

> >You have two cows.

> >The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

> >You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

> >COMMUNIST

> >You have two cows.

> >The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

> >You wait in line for hours to get it.

> >It is expensive and sour.

> >CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

> >You have two cows.

> >You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

> >BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

> >You have two cows.

> >Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one,

 

> >milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

> >AMERICAN CORPORATION

> >You have two cows.

> >You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd

 

one.

> >You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are

 

> >surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to

the

> >analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing

expenses.

> >Your stock goes up.

> >FRENCH CORPORATION

> >You have two cows.

> >You go on strike because you want three cows.

> >You go to lunch and drink wine.

> >Life is good.

> >JAPANESE CORPORATION

> >You have two cows.

> >You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary

 

cow

> >and produce twenty times the milk.

> >They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.

> >Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

> >GERMAN CORPORATION

> >You have two cows.

> >You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer,

give

> >excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.

> >Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per

year.

> >ITALIAN CORPORATION

> >You have two cows but you don't know where they are.

> >You break for lunch.

> >Life is good.

> >RUSSIAN CORPORATION

> >You have two cows.

> >You have some vodka.

> >You count them and learn you have five cows.

> >You have some more vodka.

> >You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

> >The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really

 

have.

> >TALIBAN CORPORATION

> >You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.

> >You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's

 

private parts.

> >You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find

> >alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy

weapons.

> >IRAQI CORPORATION

> >You have two cows.

> >They go into hiding.

> >They send radio tapes of their mooing.

> >POLISH CORPORATION

> >You have two bulls.

> >Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk

them.

> >BELGIAN CORPORATION

> >You have one cow.

> >The cow is schizophrenic.

> >Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's

Flemish.

> >The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.

> >The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.

> >The cow asks permission to be cut in half.

> >The cow dies happy.

> >FLORIDA CORPORATION

> >You have a black cow and a brown cow.

> >Everyone votes for the best looking one.

> >Some of the people who actually like the brown one best

accidentally

> >vote for the black one.

> >Some people vote for both.

> >Some people vote for neither.

> >Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.

> >Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one

you

> >think is the best-looking cow.

> >CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

> >You have millions of cows.

> >They make real California cheese.

> >Only five speak English.

> >Most are illegal.

> >Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

> BRIT CORPORATION

You have 2 cows age 3

After 3 they will probabley have foot and mouth and be put down

They are forced fed on a diet of jerry springer twice a day

taken annually on a trip to spain

made to fetch tacky presents back for their relations

lose the will to live and throw themselves on the nearest government

 

inspector of livestock

_

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