OT: Alaskan Smile

[Guest guest]

Some of these sound suspisciously like the good

ole suthran humor that we share on here so

thought some of these might give you a good laugh

or two.

 

Cheryl

 

 

Alaskan Smile

 

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by

drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting

there all day hoping that the food will swim

by, you might live in Alaska.

 

If you have ever refused to buy something

because it's " too spendy " you might live in

Alaska.

 

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from

November through March, you might live in Alaska.

 

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for

five months out of the year, you might live in

Alaska.

 

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and

they don't work there, you might live in Alaska.

 

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving

around the middle of his forehead, you might live

in Alaska.

 

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same

time, you might live in Alaska.

 

If your town has an equal number of bars and

churches, you might live in Alaska

 

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation

with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might

live in Alaska.

 

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE ALASKANITE WHEN:

 

01. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars

waiting to pass a truck plowing snow on the

highway.

 

02. " Vacation " means going to Valdez.

 

03. You measure distance in hours.

 

04. You know several people who have hit a Moose

more than once.

 

05. You often switch from " heat " to " A/C " in the

same day and back

again.

 

06. Your whole family wears blue jeans to church

on Sunday.

 

07. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow

during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

 

08. You see people wearing camouflage at social

events. (including weddings)

 

09. You install security lights on your house and

garage and leave both unlocked.

 

10. You think of the major food groups as beer

and Salmon

 

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your

wife or girlfriend knows how to use them.

 

12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking

lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time.

 

13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to

fit over a snowsuit.

 

14. Driving is better in the winter because the

potholes are filled with

snow.

 

15. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter,

winter, still winter and road construction.

 

16. You can identify a southern or eastern

accent.

 

17. You know how to polka.

 

18. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue

of a deer next to your blue spruce.

 

19. You were unaware that there is a legal

drinking age.

 

20. Down South to you means Seattle.

 

21. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his

new pole shed.

 

22. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due

to frost.

 

23. You have more miles on your snow blower than

your car.

 

24. You find 0 degrees " a little chilly. "

 

25. You actually understand these jokes, and you

forward them to all your Alaska friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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