Guest guest Posted April 16, 2004 Report Share Posted April 16, 2004 Redneck Church > >You Know You Attend A Redneck Church When: > > > >A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive Ford > >truck because " It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of. " > > > >The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a > >chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one. > > > >People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two > >fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em. > > > >When the pastor says, " I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the > >offering, " five guys and two women stand up. > > > >Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. > > > >The choir is known as the " OK Chorale. " > > > >Boone's Farm " Tickle Pink " is the favorite wine for communion. > > > >In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in > >the church directory. > > > >Baptism is referred to as " branding. " > > > >There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank. > > > >Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable. > > > >High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling. > > > >People think " rapture " is what you get when you lift something too heavy. > > > >The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub. > > > >The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo of) Billy > >Bob's Barbecue. > > > >The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy. > > > > Jan S www.sweetprairiesoap.com jans _______________ FREE pop-up blocking with the new MSN Toolbar - get it now! http://toolbar.msn.com/go/onm00200415ave/direct/01/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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