OT: Things I Have Learned About Life

[Guest guest]

ROFLMAO! Too FUNNY!

 

K

 

Cheers!

Kathleen Petrides

The Woobey Queen

http://www.woobeyworld.com

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS:

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

 

OFFICE MATHEMATICS:

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

 

SHOPPING MATHEMATICS:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn't need.

 

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than a wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 

MARITAL HAPPINESS:

For a woman to be happy with a man she must understand him a lot and

love him a little.

For a man to be happy with a woman he must love her a lot and not try to

understand her at all.

 

LONGEVITY:

Married men live longer than single men do .. but married men are a lot

more willing to die.

 

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting she will not change, but she does.

 

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUES:

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and

cackle, " You're next. "

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.