For cat fiends/OT

[Guest guest]

-- " PURR " -LITICAL CORRECTNESS:  SAY IT NICELY, OR NOT AT ALL!

 

In the current state of political correctness, nobody is ever

" short, " they are simply " vertically challenged. "   No one is a

" housekeeper, " they are " domestic engineers. "

 

See how we can apply this " game " to the many activities of our

cats:

 

--My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug redecorator.

 

--My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job.

 

--My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice

  tools.

 

--My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity.

 

--My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.

 

--My cat does not yowl, he is singing off-key.

 

--My cat is not a " shedding machine " , she is a hair relocation

  stylist.

 

--My cat is not a " treat-seeking missile, " she enjoys the

  proximity of food.

 

--My cat is not a bed hog, he is a mattress appreciator.

 

--My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on what to

  do next.

 

--My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative.

 

--My cat is not a lap fungus, he is bed selective.

 

--My cat is not a pest, she is attention deprived.

 

--My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife control

  expert.

 

--My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced.

 

--My cat is not fat, he is mass enhanced.

 

--My cat is not hydrophobic, she has an inability to appreciate

  moisture.

 

--My cat is not lazy, he is motivationally challenged.

 

--My cat is not underfoot, she is shepherding me to my next

  destination (the food dish).

 

Well said, and no cat's feelings have been hurt!

 

                  ^..^  ^..^  ^..^  ^..^  ^..^

                  ><    ><    ><    ><    ><

 

 

--A Cat's Little Prayer

 

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray this cushy life to keep.

 

I pray for toys that look like mice,

And sofa cushions, soft and nice.

 

I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,

And someone nice to scratch my back,

 

For windowsills all warm and bright,

For shadows to explore at night.

 

I pray I'll always stay real cool

And keep the secret feline rule

 

To NEVER tell a human that

The world is really ruled by CATS!

 

            - Author Unknown

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