OT: Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners

[Guest guest]

How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and

Southerners?

 

Pose the following question:

 

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small

children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes

around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the

knife, and charges.

 

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere

seconds before he reaches you and your family.

 

What do you do?

 

Liberal Answer:

 

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the

man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would

inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think?

What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and

knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this

situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?

 

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does

this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy

with just killing me?

 

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound

me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away

while he was stabbing me?

 

Should I call 9-1-1?

 

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint

and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would

discourage such behavior.

 

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a

few days and try to come to a consensus.

 

 

Conservative Answer: BANG!

 

 

Southerner's Answer : BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! click... (sounds of reloading).

 

Wife: " Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, maybe you should

shoot him a few more times. What do you kids think? "

 

Son: " Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too. Give him a few more. "

 

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

 

Daughter: " WOW! Nice shot group, Daddy! Were those rounds Winchester

Silver Tips or Wad Cutters? "