Competition ** Hurt Feelings in Central California

[Guest guest]

Hi Lisa,

 

> This friend of mine came over a few weeks ago and just loved

> everything I was doing all over my home. (SNIP)

 

That's not at all unusual.

 

> Now I feel like she wants to take that away from me.

 

This feeling also might not be unusual .. if we look through our heart's

eye instead of through our mind's eye.

 

> She wants to take my dream and run with it. She even had her husband

> come over here to see what I'm up to. She has slipped a few times

> telling me that she's mentioned to others that she is going to start a

> business doing all this.

 

Its an unfortunate (maybe) reality that competition is often created by

those who wish to copy us. American history is full of such events and

often they involved cut-throat tactics between friends. But competition

is healthy and we are lucky to have it in the USA .. I've lived in too

many places where monopolies were the norm.

 

> I have completely encouraged her in the directions of the items that I

> would love to do, but have my hands in enough products as is. She has

> mentioned going in as partners or her opening a store in her name and

> featuring my products...the list goes on. I'm in complete awwwwh.

 

She can only do that with your permission. She can, however, open a

store and offer similar products of her own making in her name.

 

> I don't know what to think about it.

 

You are (methinks) concerned because you feel betrayed by a friend. It

might be that the friend is betraying you in some respect .. but it also

might be a communications problem here. If you think this person is NOT

a friend then you have nothing to lose by facing them with your feelings

and see what their response will be.

 

> I told her right now I'm planning on just doing this through my home

> a few years and if one day I open a little store, it is something I

> want to pass on to my little bug.

 

But .. that unto itself is not reason enough for her to not want to open

her own store.

 

> Why would I want her to open a store and get the credit for my work?

 

She can't. That is, without your permission. But as I wrote above, she

can open a store and offer similar products of her own.

 

> Maybe if we were from a big community it wouldn't bother me as

> much..maybe it would...I dunno she's suppose to be my friend

 

Like I said .. she might be your friend still. Many folks on this list

are in competition with each other but still remain friends. We must be

careful to not allow friendship to spill over into business relations.

 

> I dunno have many of you had anything like this happen before and if

> you did, how did you handle it? I know I've mentioned this to a few

> friends that know her and don't think it's very nice.

 

I won't comment on this as I think I've given my opinion on competition.

 

> Confused in California

> Lisa

> Wings of a Fairy

 

It might be that your confusion can be eliminated by telling your friend

pretty much what you've written here. But be prepared to also hear that

she doesn't think she is taking anything from you by opening a store if

you don't want to or can't do it for one reason or another.

 

Good luck .. and keep smiling. :-) Butch http://www.AV-AT.com