Guest guest Posted June 6, 2003 Report Share Posted June 6, 2003 I was looking for cranky fabric and came across the following, TOO funny! ******************************************************* Bumper stickers Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies out of the trunk. =============================== YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.... You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are " Gentlemen, start your engines. " Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. You have a house that's mobile and fifteen cars that aren't. You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida. You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law. Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off it. Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck. An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall. People hear your car long before they see it. Your pickup truck bed converts into a swimming pool. Self service requires a siphon hose to get full tank of gas. ========================================== If you don't like my driving then honk, and wait for gunshots Tailgaters will be shot. Those who remember their weekend don't party enough. Your just mad because my bike cost more than your car did. I would rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford. If that phone was up your rear, maybe you could drive better. Seen upside down on a jeep -- If you can read this, please flip me back over Remember folks stop lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph. Caution - Driver legally blonde! Pass with caution, driver chewing tobacco. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people. Cheers! Kathleen Petrides The Woobey Queen Woobeys: Loving Touch Therapeutic Pillows http://www.woobeyworld.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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