Reply to the Rant - Just to be fair

[Guest guest]

At 12:25 PM 03/05/2003 -0500, Michelle Morton-niyama wrote:

> > You see Michelle - your way is NOT the ONLY way.

>

>I never said it was- I only said I did not understand why someone would

>choose not to nurse their baby....and I dont.

 

You also condemned those who chose not to. You called us selfish and

shouldn't have had children if we didn't want to breast feed them. (And

those are just the comments that I remember without going back and

reading... there were others as bad and worse.) That's what you said...

and it was that kind of language and tone that brought about the anger and

hurt feelings.

 

 

>Yikes what venom I have exposed- anyone who knows me would not agree with

>the fact that I am out to condemn others-

 

But that's what you did. Maybe you should take the time to go back and read

your words. They were insulting, condemning and flaming.

 

 

>I am out to share information- and nursing is something that I am

>radically in favor of! I have not commented on anyones fertility problems-

>I dont know where that came from...and I am VERY thankful for my

>children...every second of every day!

 

To be fair, I never thought your comments were directed towards those who

had serious medical reasons for not breast feeding, or those who had any

kind of fertility problems. I took your comments to be aimed at people like

me... perfectly healthy women with perfectly healthy babies who chose not

to breast feed.

 

However, you posted an apology yesterday, which was accepted. But judging

from what you're posting today it doesn't look like you really know what

you're apologizing for, as you seem to think that there was nothing

judgemental or insulting about your comments. :::sigh::: Oh well...

 

And also to be fair... although you, Michelle, were the most vehement and

prolific in the posts denegrating non-breastfeeding women, you certainly

weren't the only person doing it. The nastiness and criticism was coming

from several people.... to the point where I almost unsubbed from this group.

 

A friendly suggestion to all: When you find a different point of view

(particularly about raising children) and you don't understand it, just ask

the person nicely to explain it. You'd get a much better reaction that way

than you would by calling the person selfish and telling them they

shouldn't have had any kids. Or if you don't want to ask them, then

don't. Just say " I don't understand that " and leave it at that. The

name-calling, insults, and condemnation of others for perfectly valid

opinions and decisions does nothing but lead to unnecessary animosity.

 

-- Sandy (ok... I'm done with this now)