Guest guest Posted March 1, 2003 Report Share Posted March 1, 2003 The Atlanta School Board, sensing that Oakland is about to cash in by labeling African American Slang as the language of " Ebonics, " has now decided to pursue their own share of taxpayer's funds through the pipeline to Washington by designating Southern Slang, or " Hickophonics, " as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone. The following are excerpts from the Hickphonic/English dictionary: HEIDI: Greeting. HIRE YEW: complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: " Heidi, hire yew? " SUMMERS: an unidentified place. Usage: Ah knows its roun' here summers. BARD: verb. Past tense of the infinitive " to borrow. " Usage: " My brother bard my pickup truck. " JAWJUH: noun. The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: " My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck. " BAMMER: noun. The state west of Jawjuh. Most folk think the Capitol of Bammer is Berminhayum .. but taint neither .. tis Mongumry. Usage: " A tornado jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements. " MUNTS: noun. A calendar division. Usage: " My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts. " THANK: verb. Ability to cognitively process. Usage: " Ah thank ah'll have a bare. " BARE: noun. An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: " Ah thank ah'll have a bare too. " IGNERT: adjective. Not smart. See " Arkansas native. " Usage: " Them Bammer boys sure are ignert! " RANCH: noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: " I thank I left my ranch in the truck my brother from Jawjuy bard a few munts ago. " ALL: noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: " I shore hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck. " FAR: noun. A conflagration. Usage: " If my brother from Jawjuy don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thang'll catch far. " TAR: noun. A rubber wheel. Usage: " Gee, I hope my brother from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck. " TIRE: noun. A tall monument. Usage: " Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I shore do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris. " RETARD: verb. To stop working. Usage: " My Grampaw done retard when he was 65. " FAT: noun, verb. 1. A battle or combat; 2. To engage in battle or combat. Usage: " You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna' whoop ya! " RATS: noun. Entitled power or privilege. Usage: " We southerner boys are willin' to fat for are rats. " FARN: adjective. Not local. Usage: " I cuddin unnerstand a wurd he sed... mus' be from some farn country. " DID: adjective. Not alive. Usage: " He shot em did, Jim, didder'n four o'clock " EAR: noun. A colorless, odorless gas; oxygen. Usage: " He cain't breathe... give 'im some ear! " BOB WAR: noun. A sharp, twisted cable used for fencing cattle. Usage: " Boy, stay away from that thar bob war fence. " JEW HERE: Noun and verb contraction. Usage: " Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with a bob war fence cump'ny? " HAZE: a contraction. Usage: " Is Bubba smart? Nah, haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnut 'n 'is lahf. " SEED: verb, past tense of " to see. " VIEW: contraction, verb and pronoun. Usage: " I ain't never seed New York City... view? " GUMMIT: noun, a bureaucratic institution. Usage: " Them gummit boys shore are ignert. " By ya'll, ya heah? Butch http://www.AV-AT.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2003 Report Share Posted March 1, 2003 I know this is a joke but why not do it too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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