Guest guest Posted March 1, 2003 Report Share Posted March 1, 2003 Paris: The French government denies that Michael Jackson had cosmetic surgery and demands more evidence before accepting the allegation. Additionally, they declared that O.J. was a victim of American racial profiling and discrimination! Paris: Anticipating the possibility of war with Iraq, France has decided to make a pre-emptive move and surrender immediately to Iraq. The President of France declared an immediate and unconditional surrender tonight at 10:30 PM France time. Baghdad: Saddam Hussein was said to be intrigued by the news, and an Iraqi press release stated, " We welcome this unexpected move by the French government. This is further proof that we have no weapons in Iraq and that the United States sucks. " French citizens have immediately and voluntarily been herded into guarded camps to await their fate once Iraqi soldiers arrive. " We expect the Iraqis to arrive sometime this year, " said government spokesman Jacque LePlage. " We can only hope that they will not kill us as much as they kill their own people. " He went on to say that any country that liberates France from Iraqi tyranny will be held in contempt by the French people for 50 to 100 years, or until they are again conquered. Berlin: News of the surrender took some UN nations by surprise, but many had expected it. German foreign minister Hans Gruber said, " The French people are very, very gutless. I once mentioned Hitler to a French guy - he gave me his wallet and held his hands up ... and that was their Prime Minister! " NATO countries were at first theorizing that this surrender was a ploy of some kind, but that was quickly dismissed. " Listen, there's not a shred of courage in that whole country. That's why they never bathe... they're hoping the stink will keep people from invading, " said former British Prime Minister John Major. Finally .. it was announced today that Canada has agreed to help the US in Iraq and is willing to commit two of their largest warships, 600 armed troops and 300 aircraft. However, after the exchange rate is taken into consideration that comes down to 1 canoe, 2 Mounties and a flying squirrel~! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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