OT: Weapons Inspectors

[Guest guest]

Hey y'all,

 

I got a sneaky feeling that the below was written by a woman. ;-p

-

Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have

arrived in Iraq?

 

They're all men!

 

How in the name of the United Nations does anyone expect men to find

Saddam's stash? We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes to

finding things. For crying' out loud! They can't find the dirty clothes

hamper. They can't find the jar of jelly until it falls out of the

cupboard and splatters on the floor... and these are the people we have

sent into Iraq to search for hidden weapons of mass destruction? They

probably couldn't find them if they were lying in the middle of a dusty

street with a picture of Saddam aiming a rifle in the air taped on the

side.

 

I wonder why groups of women weren't sent in - preferably mothers. After

all, mothers know that their boys can't find their socks or underwear

when they're neatly folded in their dresser drawers, so how could they

be expected to find hidden biological weapons? And mothers can sniff

out secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a gram of dope.

 

What we need over there are women like my mother was. My mother could

find the old olive bottles filled with dimes that dad stashed in the

attic beneath the rafters. She could sniff out a diary two rooms and one

floor away. She always knew when the lid of the cookie jar had been

disturbed, and I swear she must have dusted for prints on the roll of

salami that was always in the refrigerator. She knew if a slice had been

removed and by whom.

 

I developed her ability to stalk out criminal activity when my kids were

at home. They couldn't get away with much that I didn't know about.

They still think they got away with a lot, but actually I always knew

what they were doing, and if I decided that what they were doing was not

too important or dangerous, I allowed them to think they were getting

away with it. It was important for them to think they have an uncanny

ability to pull the wool over mom's eyes occasionally.

 

But male inspectors?

Going after Saddam?

 

Now I know that our country has gone mad. Those inspectors will rely on

electronic equipment to scout out hidden threats. They will try to use

science to find chemicals. These men, dressed in their pretentious

jumpsuits, carrying their bulging briefcases, will barge into palaces

and hovels, look around and then officiously announce, " all clear " .

 

But if mothers were sent in they wouldn't need body suits, briefcases or

science. Mothers would go in, charge up to Saddam and, with their hands

on their hips, demand, " do you have any weapons of mass destruction? "

And they could tell in an instant whether he was lying or telling the

truth.

 

And mothers would be quite capable of finding his cache no matter how

cleverly he thought it was hidden.

 

God help him once it was found; he would be chastised until he begged

for mercy. He wouldn't be given a " time-out " ; he would get an old

fashioned butt-kicking by women who are adept at butt-kicking. And by

the time these women finished with Saddam, he would be sitting in the

middle of a dusty road with a limp rifle and a stunned look on his evil

face.