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There seems to be no end to learnng hillbilly language. Today I came

across this and though y'all might enjoy it. Shivani

 

Arkansas Ozark Hillbilly Technology Terms

Log On Makin a wood stove hotter.

Log Off Don't add no more wood.

Monitor Keepin an eye on the wood stove.

Download Gettin the farwood off the truk.

Mega Hertz When yer not kerful gettin the farwood.

Floppy Disc Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.

RAM That thar thing whut splits the farwood.

Mouse Pad That hippie talk fer the rat hole.

Prompt Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.

Windows Whut to shut wen it's cold outside.

Screen Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season.

Byte Whut them dang flys do.

Chip Munchies fer the TV.

Micro Chip Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.

Modem Whut cha did to the hay fields.

Dot Matrix Old Dan Matrix's wife.

Laptop Whar the kitty sleeps.

Keyboard Whar ya hang the dang keys.

Software Them dang plastic forks and knifes.

Mouse Whut eats the grain in the barn.

Mainframe Holds up the barn roof.

Port Fancy Flatlander wine

Enter Northerner talk fer " C'mon in y'all "

Random Access Memory Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle when

yore wife asks.

Hard Drive Gettin home in the winter time.

 

Arkansas Ozark Hillbilly Medical Terminology

Benign What you be after you be eight

Artery The study of paintings

Bacteria Back door to cafeteria

Barium What doctors do when patients die

Cesarean Section A neighborhood in Rome

CATscan Searching for kitty

Cauterize Made eye contact with her

Colic A sheep dog

Coma A punctuation mark

D & C Where Washington is

Dilate To live long

Enema Not a friend

Fester Quicker than someone else

Fibula A small lie

Genital Non-Jewish person

G.I. Series World Series of military baseball

Hangnail What you hang your coat on

Impotent Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff A Doctor's cane

Morbid A higher offer than I bid

Nitrates Cheaper than day rates

Node I knew it

Outpatient A person who has fainted

Pap Smear A lie about someone's Pappy

Pelvis Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative A letter carrier

Recovery Room Place to do upholstery

Rectum Damn near killed him

Secretion Hiding something

Seizure Roman emperor

Tablet A small table

Terminal Illness Getting sick at the airport

Tumor More than one

Urine Opposite of you're out

Varicose Near by/close by

-Author Unknown

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