Fw: chemical Analysis of a Woman

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Finally - an explanation of Woman that makes sense

to a man!

Element: Woman

Symbol: WO+

Discoverer: Adam

Edenwarden

Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg, isotopes vary from 40 - 200

kg

Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL

PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered with thin film of make-up.

2. Boils

at room temperature.

3. Freezes without any known reason.

4. Melts if

given special treatment.

5. Bitter if incorrectly used.

CHEMICAL

PROPERTIES:

1. Have great affinity for gold, silver and a range of Precious

stones and absorbs

great quantities of expensive substances.

2. May

explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.

3. Most

powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:

1. Highly

ornamental, especially in social gatherings.

2. Can be a great aid to

relaxation.

3. Can be very effective cleaning agent.

TESTS:

1. Pure

specimen turns rosy pink when happy.

2. Turns pale green when placed beside a

better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARDS:

1. Highly dangerous except in

experienced hands.

2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can

be maintained at different

locations as long as specimens do not come into

direct contact with each other

WARNING!!!!

PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS

ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL

DISTRESS. BE

CAUTIOUS !