Secure Water Debut

[Guest guest]

Air Lines to Sell " Secure Water "

` by Spensive in Wake of Heathrow Bomb Plot

by Kamal El-Din

 

Secure Water, the next big thing?

Unconfirmed sources report that several major American

airlines have teamed up with big time water bottler

Spensive to offer a special " Secure Water " on all

domestic and international flights. The " Secure Water "

will be the only beverage offered in flight and will

carry a price of $7.25 per 8oz bottle.

 

And now a word for our sponsor Sparkling Spensive

Water

 

 

Spensive spokesman Ben Lion spoke with reporters

yesterday and announced the new product.

 

" Spensive is proud to announce that in these difficult

times we too, a humble water bottling

mega-conglomerate, can do our part to comfort the

American people. Our new product " Secure Water " will

provide a new level of beverage safety currently

unknown in today's market .

Spensive has always been know for our premium waters

and " Secure Water " is fine addition to our line.

" Secure Water " is already being produced in a secret

facility in an undisclosed location to assure the

utmost in public safety. "

 

Experts welcomed the announcement of " Secure Water "

but wonder if the American public is ready for a $7

bottle of water.

 

" I know security is important, but $7 feels a little

steep to me. " Says secure beverage expert Art Teesion.

" Spensive is making a bold play here to really set the

market in this soon to be exploding beverage segment.

All the big players are going to coming in, but I

think Spensive's speed to the market will assure them

a head start that others will envey. "

 

" $7 bucks for a bottle of truly secure water is a

bargain. " Says water and homeland security expert Dan

Brown. " When you consider the secure conditions the

water is bottled in and the security that accompanies

the water during transit, $7 begins to sound like a

good deal. Armored trucks and armed guards cost money,

the consumer is just going to pick up the tab. "

 

" Secure Water " will go on sale immediately and will

replace all regular beverage services until further

notice.

 

In related news Spensive has signed a deal with

Sugarland Foods to develop, market, and distribute a

line of " Secure Snacks " to be sold along side " Secure

Water " .

 

c unconfirmed sources