Pythoner's kudos to Napoleon Bonehead

[Guest guest]

Terry Jones:

'Nice one, George'

August 04,2006

 

Those of us who support Armageddon

have naturally been greatly cheered

by way the US president has embraced our cause.

 

Terry Jones, The Guardian

 

Those of us who have long been supporters of

Armageddon have naturally been greatly cheered by way

the president of the United States has been embracing

our cause. Our desire to bring chaos, death and

destruction to a greater swathe of humanity has, in

the past, often been frustrated by peacemakers and

do-gooders of all shades of the political spectrum.

 

For too long, our aspirations have been derided and

criticised. In fact, to be blunt, for more than two

millennia we have had to put up with opprobrium and

vilification, but now all that will be a thing of the

past, for in George Bush we have found an ally -

indeed, we have found a leader.

A man who is prepared to place himself at the head of

the forces of destruction and misery, and who is

unafraid of the opinion of the rest of the world.

 

George Bush has finally put Armageddon firmly on the

political agenda, and it is likely to stay there for

the foreseeable future.

 

This means that we Armageddonists need keep to the

shadows no longer.

Bush and his colleagues in the White House have given

us credibility and respectability. They have made our

goal their goal, and death, disease, war and famine

are now the most likely fate for more people in the

Middle East than we Armageddonists had ever dared to

hope for.

 

 

What is also particularly gratifying - after this long

wait - is that George could not have chosen a better

spot on Earth for the " End of Things " to begin, nor a

more appropriate agent than Israel to get the ball

rolling.

 

After all " Armageddon " is a Hebrew word.

It has come to signify " the end of times " or the

arrival of catastrophic events, involving huge loss of

life. In its origins, however, Har-Mageddon meant

simply " the mountain of Megiddo " - Megiddo being a

site in Israel close to the border with Lebanon.

 

It is certainly a place that has seen a lot of

catastrophe in its time.

Although there has not been a city at Megiddo for

over 2,000 years, there are, nevertheless the remains

of more than 20 different cities on the site, dating

from 3,000 BC.

 

That's an awful lot of human death and destruction.

 

So it's the perfect place for George to unleash the

horsemen of the Apocalypse, and, as Armageddonists, we

applaud him.

The current assault on Lebanese civilians is sure to

swell the ranks of would-be terrorists beyond even our

wildest dreams, spreading the violence and mayhem not

only throughout the Middle East but into the homelands

of America and Britain.

 

As for the country of Lebanon itself, we

Armageddonists predict that, like Iraq, it will sink

into a morass of sectarian violence that will fill

morgues of the future that have not yet been built.

But more than that, we Armegeddonists confidently

look forward to chaos and havoc quickly getting out of

hand and beyond the control of those who started the

conflict. It's all part of the fun.

 

So Armageddonists of the world! Let us unite in praise

of George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld.

Let us thank these men for bringing our dreams of

violence and disorder to fruition.

 

Let us hope that whatever half-baked notions fill what

passes for their minds, they will continue on this

irreversible path to perdition from which the whole

world recoils, but seems powerless to stop.

 

© Guardian Newspapers Limited 2006.