Bank of America's Rewards Card

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7/6/2006

 

Bank of America Launches New Terror Rewards Card

 

by Subcomandante Bob

 

(New York) Bank of America has launched the Bank of

America Terror Rewards Card --

the first credit card to be accepted for usage by

members of global terror networks.

 

For the first time, Bank of America terrorist

customers will benefit from the benefits and

privileges of acceptance,

as well as Bank of America's robust rewards program

and outstanding service record.

 

" We are delighted to link up with al-Qaeda, Hezbollah,

and other terror partners around the globe, "

said Bank of America Card Services President Bruce L.

Hammonds.

" Bank of America is now offering its high-spending

militant customers greater choice

through an exceptional new family of financial

products. "

 

Cardholders earn two points for each dollar spent on

terror-related purchases,

such as C-4, RPGs, and bazookas, while earning one

point for other purchases.

 

For every US dollar spent using the card, militants

earn one Skywards Mile which they can exchange for

free flights,

flight upgrades, or travel privileges with Skywards.

 

Islamic Army spokesman Abdurahman Sali hailed the BOA

move as " progressive. "

 

" For many, many years we have watched our purchases

blow our enemies into tiny bits,

while not benefitting from a loyalty-based rewards

program, " said Sali, polishing an AK-47.

" Now we can carry out worldwide jihad and

simultaneously create added value for our

organizations.

May Allah and Bank of America be praised. "

 

 

C 2006, National Nitwit®