Old News: Bushland

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Bushland to Open

 

Posted Apr 1st 2006 12:10PM by Neil Woodburn

 

Fans of our America’s 43rd president will finally have something to

rejoice about later this month when the new Bushland presidential theme

park opens. Built atop the breeding grounds of the endangered Texas

blind salamander, Bushland embraces the life and accomplishments of

George W.

 

This wonderful family getaway has something for all ages; the Michael

Moore Harpoon Toss, the Cheney Shooting Range, the Deficit Roller

Coaster (which only goes up), and the Karl Rove Spinner (the opening of

the Karl Rove Steamboat Cruise has been postponed until problematic

leaks are fixed).

 

Those interested in a slightly different type of entertainment can

disappear into the Yale Pub where employees dressed as male cheerleaders

serve you beer until you pass out. When you awake a few hours later in

the bathroom, you’ll discover that each urinal in the park is emblazoned

with the name of a different national park upon which you can do your

business; each toilet lists various civil liberties.

 

Visitors can also check out the new Presidential Library, which so far

has only two books; One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish and Everyone Poops.

 

And finally, when you’re completely knackered from a full day of

activities at Bushland, retire to the park’s Katrina Tiki Room and wile

away the rest of your day doing absolutely nothing.

 

Bushland will be open during presidential working hours only (11am-2pm

Monday-Wednesday, closed for the entire summer). Admission is $20 for

those who earn less than $100,000 a year. For those who earn more,

Bushland will pay you to come and visit. Sorry, no gays or blacks

allowed (Condoleezza Rice excepted).

 

http://www.gadling.com/2006/04/01/bushland-to-open/