Guest guest Posted May 20, 2006 Report Share Posted May 20, 2006 S Sat, 20 May 2006 15:00:34 -0000 [Morgellons] excellent site showing photos of " delusions " http://home.comcast.net/~everhopeful/ Ever Hopeful's Delusions I came down with Delusions of Parasitosis in 2001. This bizarre syndrome is also called Delusional Parasitosis, Delusionary Parasitosis, Neurocutaneous Syndrome, Monosymptomatic Hypochondriasis, or even DOP or DP for short. Although dermatologists think they know everything they need to know about this condition, and can usually diagnose it in minutes, they still do not know what causes it. (For more information on DOP and its history in medicine and science, click here: A Brief Introduction to the Concept & Science of DOP.) Oddly enough, my delusions, although mostly microscopic, are completely capable of being photographed. Using an inexpensive digital microscope made by Intel and marketed for schoolchildren, I have made many pictures and videos of my delusions. This website offers a few, selected for being the most representative or illustrative. In fact, the border on this and the other text pages is made from an image of a starfish delusion, shrunk and cropped. With one exception, the photos on the photo pages have not been " doctored " in anyway, except for cropping and, in a couple of cases, resizing to fit the page. The exception is the first image of the sandal thing, which was pasted together from two pictures, only because the thing was too large to fit in one photo. None of the other images has been touched up, airbrushed, had anything added or removed, or changed in any way. To see what some of my delusions look like, click on one of the links below. I began studying and photographing my delusions on my own to try to identify their source, so that I could get well. I thought that, with the help of a microscope, I would be able to see what was causing my delusions, look it up in a book or online, and then figure out how to get rid of it. Unfortunately, it turned out to be far more difficult than I ever suspected. These delusions, although reasonably easy to locate and photograph once I had some experience with them, are not described in any book or article. They are not included among the images of microbes in the scientific collections and databases on the web. I am not a scientist, and after four years of research, I remain ignorant of the identity of what I have seen with my scope. I have had to conclude that I am looking at something still unknown to the scientific community. I now believe it will take highly trained and experienced scientists to identify my delusions. I have created this website partly in the hope of catching the eye of some parasitologist or protozoologist or microbiologist or other such specialist who might be able to help identify some of my delusions. If one of you is reading this and can offer any suggestions or just plain interest, please email me at identify at dpref dot com. I am in contact with many of those who are currently studying the condition and will be thrilled to hear from any others who might like to contribute to the advancement of knowledge on this condition, even if it is just to offer one small idea or clue to follow. I have also created this website to honor, support and validate the thousands of others who also suffer from this condition. If you would like to add your name (or nickname) to the rolls of the delusional, please sign my guestbook. If you would like to share your story, send me an email. I answer all legitimate emails, although it does sometimes take me awhile. So many people suffer from this condition that I sometimes get overwhelmed with emails. So I ask your patience in advance. There are some organizations and other websites that offer support and assistance. For a list, Additional Resources. If you know of others, please drop me a line with a link and a description, and I will add it to my list. For general mail, notes, inquiries, etc., please email me at EH at dpref dot com. Thanks to all. Photo Pages: The Delusion That Something Is Burrowing Into My Skin The Fibers Delusion The Fuzzball Delusion The Starfish Delusion The Capsule Delusion The Black Specks Delusion The Grains of Sand Delusion The Delusion that It's Alive: A Video My Sandal Thing Delusion Text Pages: A Brief Introduction to the Concept and Science of Delusional Parasitosis Articles About Delusions of Parasitosis Additional Resources Acknowledgements, Dedications, and my Guestbook Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2006 Report Share Posted May 20, 2006 Ever Hopeful has done his research! This article is quite good ... And after all, doctors already know *everything*, why would they need to learn?? http://home.comcast.net/~everhopeful/science.html == Ever Hopeful's Delusions A Brief Introduction to the Concept and Science of Delusional Parasitosis Delusional parasitosis was first described in scientific detail and terms by Karl Ekbom, a Swedish neurologist, in 1937 and 1938,1 at precisely the same time the lobotomy was being described and popularized as a treatment for mental illness by Walter Freeman, an American neurologist. Although the lobotomy has since fallen out of favor, Ekbom's concept of delusions of parasitosis remains firmly entrenched in medical thinking and writing. The form of delusional parasitosis described by Ekbom involves the conviction that parasites inhabit the skin, and this remains the most commonly encountered manifestation of the illness. Those of us suffering from delusions of parasitosis believe that we are infected by parasites. We report feeling them crawling on us, stinging or biting us, burrowing into our skin, and often causing itchy rashes and/or painful lesions that last for weeks or months and leave permanent scars, and making our lives miserable. Physicians distinguish between primary delusions of parasitosis, which occurs without any other underlying physical or mental disorder, and secondary delusions of parasitosis, which occurs as a result or symptom (or set of symptoms) of another condition, such as diabetes or schizophrenia. People with primary delusions of parasitosis are normal in every other respect: we are not psychotic, we merely suffer from one specific type of delusion for no known reason.2 As unlikely as this condition seems, to doctors and entomologists it is a reality. Ekbom said it was true. Since his article, physicians have essentially echoed him, without adding any scientific evidence to the theory.3 Although some writers say that patients suffering from true delusional parasitosis exhibit no lesions on the skin,4 most acknowledge that they have seen the sores, rashes, and other evidence of an actual skin disease. Obvious bumps, rashes, etc., are sometimes explained as the result of " stress, " acne, dry skin, contact dermatitis, or ordinary insect bites. However, we are often described as having caused these ourselves, " . . . by excoriating or attempts at extermination (dermatitis artefacta), " 5 or, as one source calls it, self mutilation.6 Some descriptions of our behavior are quite specific: " . . . excoriations are classically produced by the fingernails and there may also be signs of chemical burns as a result of attempts to kill the parasites. The patient is compelled to dig the parasites out, especially before going to bed, and often resorts to the use of a knife, tweezers or other sharp implement, leaving skin lesions consistent therewith. " 7 Oddly enough, an entomologist has offered one of the most vivid and detailed descriptions of the medical features of the condition, including the results of our " self-mutilation " : " Scratching may produce papular eruptions. Any repeated skin irritation produces a friction blister. Repeated rubbing of an area often produces a bleb (small blister) which, when ruptured, yields an open sore that may become infected. Once the sore begins oozing plasma and a scab forms, hairs and cloth fibers become entrapped in the sticky fluid. These flecks are dislodged and called mites or insects because they look like they have “antennae†and “legs†(Fig. 2). Hair follicles often are pulled out; the follicle accompanied by the associated sebaceous gland looks like a worm. " 8 I have been told by more than one person that their doctors had insisted they had caused their own lesions even in places on their backs that they could not reach. Denying this behavior is pointless. " Self-excoriation is a common feature of delusory parasitosis, despite the individuals’ protestations that they do not scratch. " 8 Explaining that the extreme itch may sometimes drive us to scratch, even in our sleep, is generally met with a look of smug understanding. A circular logic is at work here. Attempting to remove parasites can only be evidence of being delusional if one already knows the parasites themselves are delusionary. A nondelusional individual truly infected by a skin parasite would behave in exactly the same way. It is only because the docs have already decided we are delusional that our behavior can be used to prove that we are delusional. Because delusions of parasitosis (DOP) so often occurs at the intersection between dermatology and psychiatry, these two specialties have produced most of the literature on the topic, although entomology is also well-represented. An ongoing debate used to exist over which specialty should be responsible for treating the condition.7 The psychiatrists argued that dermatologists are the practitioners who most often see these patients and a psychiatric referral is likely to cause the patient to become " lost to treatment. " 4 Dermatologists countered that DOP is a psychiatric condition which should be treated by specialists in that field. Neither profession much wants to deal with us, as we " can be difficult and time-consuming to treat, " 9 requiring " great patience. " 6 In point of fact, most people do visit a dermatologist rather than a psychiatrist when they experience a skin rash or lesions, putting the dermatologist into the position of in locus shrinkus to the delusional patient. Dermatologists, then, end up practicing not only psychiatry but also parasitology. Although they receive little or no training in that specialized field, they recognize us as delusional because they are convinced that no human parasites behave in the ways we describe them, at least not in this country. The single possible exception is scabies, and scabies doesn't really produce the same symptoms as our delusions, and can be completely eradicated (so they say) with one or two treatments with permethrin cream, a neurotoxin. If anything survives the treatment, it can't be scabies, the reasoning goes, and therefore must be a delusion. Many physicians patiently explain, to those who believe that they are afflicted with another skin parasite, that no other human skin parasites exist. This statement is patently false. Demodex mites are known to inhabit the skin of most adults in the United States (and, I assume, elsewhere), and to cause problems on the eyelids.10 Whether these mites ever cause significant skin damage to humans remains controversial, but there is growing evidence that demodex contribute to rosacea11 and possibly to folliculitis.12 I'm not sure why the doctors fail to mention them. Do they not know about demodex? Or do they know about them but believe there is no point in giving patients " irrelevant " information because it might simply worry us unnecessarily? The same doctors apparently do not know about the existence of ochocerciasis, botfly myaisis, cutaneous larva migrans, and the form of schistosomiasis which causes " swimmer's itch. " All of these are known to cause skin damage, sometimes major damage, including, variously, terrible itches, rashes, lesions, leopard skin, lizard skin, boils, track marks, and infections, and all are regularly, if infrequently, reported in North America.13 The derms have also apparently missed--or ignored or perhaps rejected--the news about the cutaneous leishmaniasis, caused by a parasitic protozoa, which has infected hundreds of our troops in Iraq.14 The vectors for leishmaniasis are various species of sand flies and the host reservoirs include dogs and rodents. Leishmaniasis has been reported in dogs in 21 of the United States and parts of southern Canada, and is known to be endemic in Texas and Oklahoma15,16 (two of the " hot spots " for delusional parasitosis). In 1999, a major outbreak occurred among fox hounds in Duchess County, New York, requiring twenty valuable dogs to be euthanized.17 An article from the College of Veterinary Medicine at the University of Georgia describes the course of the illness in dogs: " Leishmaniasis is a slowly progressive disease that can take up to 7 years to become clinically apparent. Even then, signs are frequently nonspecific and a diagnosis of Leishmania is seldom considered. " 16 <<<<<A veterinary parasitologist at the Division of Parasitic Diseases, National Center for Infectious Disease, CDC, has written that, " There is concern that this infection could spill over into the human population. " 18 A physician and former medical school professor, writing just before 9/11/2001, called it a " Plague Ready to Immigrate " >>>>> (to the United States).19 One of the specialists investigating the outbreak in New York goes even farther. Dr. Edward Breitschwerdt says that, although leishmaniasis was not thought to be present in the United States, " I think there is the possibility that there could have been human cases in the United States that weren't diagnosed. " 15 In fact, in addition to the cases acquired in the military actions around the Gulf region, the illness has already been reported in people living in the Southwestern United States.16) Many authors have described " the ever confusing face of leishmaniasis " 16 and the resulting difficulties in diagnosing the disease in humans. Dr. Ian Maclean Smith, author of the " Plague Waiting " article says, " . . . on average it takes 8 months to make a diagnosis and about a quarter are not diagnosed till nine months or later after the onset of symptoms. " He also noted that, " for every overt case there are 70 infected (with positive blood tests) " --individuals who carry the disease but remain unsymptomatic. 19 Over twenty different species of protozoa can cause human leishmaniasis. Its clinical presentation varies considerably, complicating the diagnostic situation. As noted in the article from Pennsylvania State University: " In humans, clinical disease can range from a few mild skin lesions to life threatening, multi-organ involvement . . . Leishmaniasis in humans previously was thought to occur in three forms: cutaneous, mucocutaneous, and visceral. However, apparent overlap of these forms suggests that the different forms are part of a spectrum of the same disease rather than separate entities. The clinical picture in an affected individual ultimately depends on the infecting species of Leishmania and the immune status of the host. " 17 The nature of the infecting parasite also contributes to the difficulty in diagnosis, as noted by another writer: " Diagnosis may be difficult because of the small size of the protozoa sequestered within macrophages of the skin, bone marrow, and reticuloendothelial system. " 20 Almost no American dermatologists or infectious disease specialists have diagnosed a case of human cutaneous leishmaniasis--whether they have ever seen a case is less certain. As they do not know of its existence, as evidenced by their common statements that scabies is the only parasite that inhabits human skin, it would be impossible for them to recognize leishmaniasis if they did see it. But they know delusions when they see them, and interpret our skepticism about the non-existence of skin parasites other than scabies as further evidence of our delusional status. We refuse to accept the " truth " when it is presented to us. Another parasite known to infect humans is the botfly, which lays its eggs under the skin causing what is called myiasis. Botfly myiasis is not known to occur in the United States, but travelers to Latin America can come home with it. The Washington Post reported a case of a woman who acquired a case in Costa Rica, and the dermatologist who pointed to his head, indicating he thought she was crazy, when she reported sensations of movement at the site of her wounds. The patient spent two months suffering excruciating pain before she finally diagnosed herself with the help of a book on tropical diseases, and had the worms surgically removed by a different doctor.21 Medscape has a detailed article on the condition. 22 *****Dermatologists are apparently much more likely to have read the descriptions of delusional parasitosis than information on botfly myiasis.***** Most dermatologists practicing in the United States have also never seen a case of onchocerciasis, a type of filariasis or worm infection, since the human form is not known to occur in this country, except in those who have traveled to Africa or South America. There are species of oncho that are common parasites of horses, cattle and sheep, all over the country (and the world). But the dermatologists (and, for that matter, infectious disease and family doctors) believe that these species could not possibly have found a new host in human beings. They apparently believe that, unlike the HIV-AIDS virus, the prion disease BSE, and the parasite toxoplasmosis, skin parasites are not capable of " jumping " species. Therefore, the thinking goes, no form of oncho could possibly be the cause of our misery, and therefore they do not need to look at our skin very closely, take any snips or scrapings, perform any microscopy, or run any tests. *****The doctors also appear to assume that, of the hundreds of thousands of unidentified parasites that actual parasitologists estimate inhabit the planet, none of them could possibly infect humans and cause our skin symptoms. The physicians' assumptions are not necessarily shared by parasitologists themselves. Dr. Daniel Brooks, one of the foremost parasitologists in the world, says that in the past, under the right conditions, " parasites have moved into new areas and they've jumped ship into new hosts. " He also sees the right conditions occurring in the present and warns that emerging parasitic illnesses are " evolutionary accidents waiting to happen . . . These little evolutionary land mines are going to jump up and bite us. " *****23 The dermatologists insist that such a thing is impossible. How they know so much about something they have no training in is not exactly clear. They just know. They may not be trained in parasitology, but they are trained doctors. They don't really need science anymore; they apparently receive their information directly from God, or perhaps from the ghost of Karl Ekbom. Dermatologists, similarly untrained in psychiatry or mental conditions, are also so good at diagnosing delusional parasitosis that they can do so--and sometimes even prescribe the powerful antipsychotic medication that they believe cures DOP--without any extensive patient history, intake information, or psychiatric testing, and usually in fifteen minutes or less, according to my own survey of approximately 50 people diagnosed with DOP (data on file). Psychiatrists and psychologists, who generally take a bit longer to assess mental health, are clearly way behind the dermatologists in efficiency and knowledge. Because the dermatologists believe themselves to be so expert in both parasites and delusions, they are often able to make the diagnosis without actually examining the affected skin under magnification. Although the published articles and guidelines for doctors state that a " true " infestation must be ruled out with proper examinations and tests for lice, scabies, cutaneous larva migrans, etc., patients report that in practice these are not performed in the majority of cases (data on file.) Although it may seem perfectly reasonable for a person to bring a specimen for a doctor to examine, as a gardener might take an infected leaf in to her local County Extension Agent for a diagnosis of what is ailing her plants, to do so with a skin disease turns out to be the most damning evidence of the patient's delusional condition. Called the " matchbox sign, " 2,6 or more recently by up-to-date dermatologists, the " Saran-wrap syndrome " 4 or the " Ziploc sign, " 5 bringing in skin particles or materials found on or in the skin will carve the diagnosis of delusions into stone (and into the patient's permanent medical records). Once again, perfectly normal behavior, based, in fact, on the " scientific method, " becomes labeled as pathological by using the same kind of circular reasoning described above. Most doctors do not even look at samples anyway. This is probably just as well, because when they do take a cursory glance at the samples under low power magnification, they see " lint. " Or sometimes " hairs, " or perhaps even " fibers. " 8 Most dermatologists in the United States have never seen a helminth in their lives, of course, and wouldn't know one if it crawled across a microscope slide and bit them. But they really don't need to know what parasites look like because they are not actually looking for parasites when they look through the scope. They are looking only to demonstrate to the patient that no parasites exist in the sample. As one expert puts it, " It is useful to examine the " proof " that the patient brings in so that one may truthfully say that the material was examined and no parasites were found. " 4 No scientific investigation into the basis for primary delusional parasitosis has ever demonstrated its cause--or, in fact, its actual existence. Every well-documented case of persistent delusions of parasitosis, for which sensitive and precise testing for parasites has proven negative, has turned out to have been associated with some other physical or mental condition. Only one study published so far has actually examined the skin of individuals with delusions of parasitosis in comparison to controls. This study found over 300 anomalies in the skin of 20 individuals with DOP, compared to none in the controls. The anomalies, which occurred in every single subject, included fungus, nematodes, algae, pollen, cellular debris, and what appeared to be insect eggs, larvae, or embryos. Image enhancement eventually showed evidence of collembola, or springtails, primitive insect-like creatures recently separated by taxonomists from true insects, in 18 of the 20 subjects.24 There have been occasional documented reports of springtails infecting humans published during the last several decades.24,25 The dermatologists are not impressed or swayed by the evidence of these studies. Dermatologists believe that thousands of otherwise completely sane people, from all over the country and the world, who have obvious skin rashes, lesions, and other symptoms, and who are seeing and feeling and finding exactly the same things in and on their skin, have all become delusional for no explanable reason. These doctors completely reject the possibility that we may actually be infected with parasites. They hold these beliefs despite the documented occurrence of actual parasitic illnesses in human beings, including those in the United States, despite what the science of parasitology suggests about the possibility of other parasitic illnesses, despite the evidence presented in the report of the study described above, and most certainly despite the photos that I and many others have taken. In the most recent Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a delusion is defined as, " A false belief based on incorrect inference about external reality that is firmly sustained despite what almost everybody else believes and despite what constitutes incontrovertible and obvious proof or evidence to the contrary. The belief is not one ordinarily accepted by other members of the person's culture or subculture (e.g. it is not an article of religious faith). " 26 The existence of primary delusions of parasitosis must be an article of faith among the subculture of dermatologists. Surely, it could not be a delusion.27 Notes To see photos of my delusions, click on one of the links below: The Delusion That Something Is Burrowing Into My Skin The Fibers Delusion The Fuzzball Delusion The Starfish Delusion The Capsule Delusion The Black Specks Delusion The Grains of Sand Delusion The Delusion that It's Alive: A Video My Sandal Thing Delusion For a little more information, click on one of these links: Articles About Delusions of Parasitosis Additional Resources Acknowledgements, Dedications, and my Guestbook Home califpacific <califpacific wrote: S Sat, 20 May 2006 15:00:34 -0000 [Morgellons] excellent site showing photos of " delusions " http://home.comcast.net/~everhopeful/ Ever Hopeful's Delusions I came down with Delusions of Parasitosis in 2001. This bizarre syndrome is also called Delusional Parasitosis, Delusionary Parasitosis, Neurocutaneous Syndrome, Monosymptomatic Hypochondriasis, or even DOP or DP for short. Although dermatologists think they know everything they need to know about this condition, and can usually diagnose it in minutes, they still do not know what causes it. (For more information on DOP and its history in medicine and science, click here: A Brief Introduction to the Concept & Science of DOP.) Oddly enough, my delusions, although mostly microscopic, are completely capable of being photographed. Using an inexpensive digital microscope made by Intel and marketed for schoolchildren, I have made many pictures and videos of my delusions. This website offers a few, selected for being the most representative or illustrative. In fact, the border on this and the other text pages is made from an image of a starfish delusion, shrunk and cropped. With one exception, the photos on the photo pages have not been " doctored " in anyway, except for cropping and, in a couple of cases, resizing to fit the page. The exception is the first image of the sandal thing, which was pasted together from two pictures, only because the thing was too large to fit in one photo. None of the other images has been touched up, airbrushed, had anything added or removed, or changed in any way. To see what some of my delusions look like, click on one of the links below. I began studying and photographing my delusions on my own to try to identify their source, so that I could get well. I thought that, with the help of a microscope, I would be able to see what was causing my delusions, look it up in a book or online, and then figure out how to get rid of it. Unfortunately, it turned out to be far more difficult than I ever suspected. These delusions, although reasonably easy to locate and photograph once I had some experience with them, are not described in any book or article. They are not included among the images of microbes in the scientific collections and databases on the web. I am not a scientist, and after four years of research, I remain ignorant of the identity of what I have seen with my scope. I have had to conclude that I am looking at something still unknown to the scientific community. I now believe it will take highly trained and experienced scientists to identify my delusions. I have created this website partly in the hope of catching the eye of some parasitologist or protozoologist or microbiologist or other such specialist who might be able to help identify some of my delusions. If one of you is reading this and can offer any suggestions or just plain interest, please email me at identify at dpref dot com. I am in contact with many of those who are currently studying the condition and will be thrilled to hear from any others who might like to contribute to the advancement of knowledge on this condition, even if it is just to offer one small idea or clue to follow. I have also created this website to honor, support and validate the thousands of others who also suffer from this condition. If you would like to add your name (or nickname) to the rolls of the delusional, please sign my guestbook. If you would like to share your story, send me an email. I answer all legitimate emails, although it does sometimes take me awhile. So many people suffer from this condition that I sometimes get overwhelmed with emails. So I ask your patience in advance. There are some organizations and other websites that offer support and assistance. For a list, Additional Resources. If you know of others, please drop me a line with a link and a description, and I will add it to my list. For general mail, notes, inquiries, etc., please email me at EH at dpref dot com. Thanks to all. Photo Pages: The Delusion That Something Is Burrowing Into My Skin The Fibers Delusion The Fuzzball Delusion The Starfish Delusion The Capsule Delusion The Black Specks Delusion The Grains of Sand Delusion The Delusion that It's Alive: A Video My Sandal Thing Delusion Text Pages: A Brief Introduction to the Concept and Science of Delusional Parasitosis Articles About Delusions of Parasitosis Additional Resources Acknowledgements, Dedications, and my Guestbook " To be nobody-but-myself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make me everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting. " -e.e. cummings- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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