OT: Legal Humor

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Need a bit of humor? Have a chuckle!

 

IN A TRIAL A SOUTHERN SMALL TOWN A PROSECUTING ATTORNEY CALLED HIS FIRST

WITNESS TO THE STAND : A GRANDMOTHER, ELDERLY WOMAN. HE APPROACHED HER AND

ASKED, " MRS. JONES, DO YOU KNOW ME? " SHE RESPONDED, " WHY, YES I DO KNOW

YOU, MR.. WILLIAMS. I'VE KNOWN YOU SINCE YOU WERE A YOUNG BOY. AND FRANKLY,

YOU'VE BEEN A BIG

DISAPPOINTMENT TO ME. YOU LIE, YOU CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE, YOU MANIPULATE

PEOPLE AND TALK ABOUT THEM BEHIND THEIR BACKS. YOU THINK YOU'RE A BIG SHOT

WHEN YOU HAVEN'T THE BRAINS TO REALIZE YOU NEVER WILL AMOUNT TO ANYTHING

MORE THAN A TWO-BIT PAPER PUSHER. YES, I KNOW YOU "

 

 

THE LAWYER WAS STUNNED. NOT KNOWING WHAT ELSE TO DO, HE POINTED ACROSS THE

ROOM AND ASKED, " MRS. JONES, DO YOU KNOW THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY?. SHE AGAIN

REPLIED, " WHY YES, I DO. I'VE KNOWN MR. BRADLEY SINCE HE WAS A YOUNGSTER,

TOO. HE'S LAZY, BIGOTED, HE HAS A DRINKING PROBLEM. HE CAN'T BUILD A NORMAL

RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE AND HIS LAW PRACTICE IS ONE OF THE WORST IN THE

ENTIRE STATE. NOT TO MENTION HE CHEATED ON HIS WIFE

WITH THREE DIFFERENT WOMEN. YES, I KNOW HIM "

 

 

THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY ALMOST DIED! AT THIS POINT, THE JUDGE BROUGHT THE

COURTROOM TO SILENCE, CALLED BOTH COUNSELORS TO THE BENCH, AND IN A VERY

QUIET VOICE SAID, " IF EITHER OF YOU BASTARDS ASKS HER IF SHE KNOWS ME,

YOU'LL BE JAILED FOR CONTEMPT "