OT: Early Retirement

[Guest guest]

The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered a

retirement bonus to any who would accept it.

 

They stated that any general who volunteered to retire immediately would

received full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a

straight line between any two points on the general's body, with the

general getting to select any pair of points he wished. Measurements

were to be taken at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C.

 

The first general to accept was from the Air Force. He asked the clerk

to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet.

He walked out with a check for $720,000.

 

The second volunterr, a Marine general, asked the clerk to measure from

the tip of his up-stretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out

with a check for $960,000.

 

The third general to volunteer, a grizzled old Army Airborne Ranger from

Kentucky, told the clerk, " Son, I want you to measure from the tip of my

penis all the way to my testicles. "

 

The clerk suggested that perhaps the general might like to reconsider,

pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received.

 

The Army general insisted, " No son, you heard right. Now go ahead and

measure " .

 

The clerk said that would be OK, but that he'd better get a medical

officer to do the measuring.

 

The medical officer arrived and asked the general to drop 'em. He did.

 

The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis

and began to work back.

 

" My God! " he said, " where are your testicles? "

 

" Vietnam, " the general replied.