Humor from where I live

[Guest guest]

Thought you might enjoy a few thoughts about where I live.

This said after Having a bad day out in the Heat.

Sandi

Enjoy!

 

You know you've spent a summer in St George, Utah when you can relate to the

following:

You no longer associate bridges with water.

You can say " 115 degrees " without fainting.

You have made instant sun tea.

You have learned that a seat belt makes a good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 85, and you feel a bit chilled.

You have never seen a snow shovel and don't know anyone who owns one.

You have learned that, in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive a car.

You have discovered you can get a sunburn through your car window.

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade, not by distance.

You know someone who has paid to get a job parking cars.

It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is on the

streets.

Hot water comes out of both taps.

You do not own an umbrella and would not know where to get one.

You are comfortable at 102 degrees.

You have spent the entire day trying to find a store that carries snow

chains for your car.

You actually burned your hand opening the car door.

No one you know would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not

having air conditioning.

If the local weather service records 0.02 inches, they call it rain.

You don't know anyone who owns a raincoat.

You have cooked a dozen eggs in the trunk of your car between the grocery

store and your home.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, " What if I get knocked out and end up

lying on the pavement and cook to death.

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

Half of your neighbors are from California and the other half are from New

York.

You think snow on the ground is an abstract concept.

You have forgotten how to drive on wet roads.

The local cows have been known to give powdered milk.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

You pray, " I wish it would rain; not so much for me, because I've seen it,

but for my 7 year old. "

You can say, " but it's dry heat " without laughing.

The water in your pool has been too hot to swim in and you don't even have a

heater.

You have ever cooked outside without lighting the grill.

Your power bill in the summer is more than your mortgage payment.

You have ever thought, " If I only had the lightbulb concession.

You have ever golfed when it was 117 degrees.

The song " I'm dreaming of a White Christmas " has no real meaning.

You think it is autumn when the temperature drops to 99 degrees.

You've golfed in December in a short sleeved shirt.

You've tried to work on your car in the summertime and burned your hand

picking up a wrench left laying in the sun.

You've never had an auto battery last more than three years.

 

 

" When the soul approaches the mysteries; when it tries to

rally to the great spiritual principles, the perfumes are there "

~Marguerite Maury, The Secret of Life and Youth " ~

[Guest guest]

Sandi, those are hilarious!!!!! I can associate with some of them from

when I lived in Florida for 15 years. I swear every summer got

hotter. Thank you for the good laugh!

Blessings,

MulleinCat

 

 

At 04:05 PM 7/20/2002, you wrote:

>Thought you might enjoy a few thoughts about where I live.

>This said after Having a bad day out in the Heat.

 

 

Great minds discuss ideas;

Average minds discuss events;

Small minds discuss people.

http://wlfskr.com.

http://www.lmf.net/~starkisd

I haven't lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere!

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Sandi,

 

Very Funny!!

 

I too can relate...

 

I live in St George also...Ouch!...Too Hotttt!!!

 

Angie

 

 

 

 

, Barb <starkisd@l...> wrote:

> Sandi, those are hilarious!!!!! I can associate with some of them

from

> when I lived in Florida for 15 years. I swear every summer got

> hotter. Thank you for the good laugh!

> Blessings,

> MulleinCat

>

>