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Report From the 2002 World Women's Liberation Conference

 

The Podunk Possum Gazette has provided this report from the 2002 World

Women's Liberation Conference recently held in Podunk, Arkansas:

 

The first speaker, a lady from England stood up and said, " During last

years' conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands.

Well, after the conference I went home and told my husband, Barrington,

that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it

himself! After the first day, I saw nothing. After the second day, I

saw nothing. But on the third day, I saw that he had cooked a wonderful

roast lamb. " The crowd cheered.

 

The second speaker, a lady from Russia stood up and said, " After last

years' conference I went home and told my husband, Ivan, that I would no

longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After

the first day, I saw nothing. After the second day, I saw nothing. But

on the third day, I saw that he had done not only his own washing, but

my washing as well. " The crowd again cheered.

 

The third speaker, a Cajun lady from Tibedoux, Louisiana, stood up and

said, " Afta last yars' conference, I went rat home and tole dat lazy,

gud fer nuthin Coonass husband'a mine, Boudroux, dat I wadn't gonna do

no mo'a his cookin', cleanin' or shoppin' and dat he wuz gonna have to

do it all fer hissef. " The crowd got to their feet and roared

approval.

When it became quiet, she continued, " Dats rite, and I tole'em I wadn't

gonna be doin' no mo cleanin'em nasty crawfeesh, giggin' no mo boolfrogs

and water dawgs, skinnin' none'a dem musrats and nutras or check'n no mo

catfeesh trotlines. The crowd went wild - the cheering and clapping

lasted for at least five minutes.

 

When it again became calm, she continued, " Afta the fust day, I didn't

saw nuttin'. Afta the second day, I didn't saw nuttin' too. But afta

the thud day, I could see a little bit betta outta my left eye. "

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