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OT: Coffee Break III

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Just after I got married, I was invited out for a night with " the boys " .

I told my wife that I would be home by midnight .. promise!

 

Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy, at

around 2:45 A.M. drunk as a skunk, I headed for home.

 

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up, and

cuckooed 3 times. Quickly I realized she'd probably wake up, so I

cuckooed another 9 times.

 

I was really proud of myself, having the skill to come up with a quick.

witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

 

Next morning my wife asked me what time I got in and I told her 12

o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Gotaway with that

one!

 

She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock.

 

When I asked her why she said, " Well, last night it cuckooed 3 times,

said 'oh f_ck,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed

another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more and then farted!!!! "

 

------------------

A couple goes off to bed. As soon as they settle down, he leans over

and whispers softly, " Hey snuggle boopy-boops, your little booty-buddy

isn't quite ready for bye-byes yet. "

 

She takes the hint and says, " OK, but I have to use the bathroom first. "

So off she goes, but on her way back she trips over a piece of carpet

and lands flat on her face.

 

He jumps out of bed concerned and says, " Oh my little honey-bunny, is

your nosey-wosey all right? No harm is done and they jump into bed and

have mad sex.

 

Afterward, she goes to the bathroom again, but on the way she trips over

the piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face on the floor.

 

He looks over and grunts, " Clumsy Bitch..... "

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