Guest guest Posted January 29, 2002 Report Share Posted January 29, 2002 Hi, I musta missed that part of the Bible........whoops The things I missed - woulda loved to have been at that one! And I'd a been right out there a yellin and a hollerin too ( and got a butt whuppin!) We went to a Northern Baptist church...........with a suth'ren preacher.......and if the kids acted up AT ALL, he'd stop the whole darned service, separate em and sit em up in the front rows, (not together, yanno). We moved to Florida and he moved to California ;-p Hugs, Marilyn Butch Owen wrote: > Yo Janet, > > > Butch- > > You be soundin' lyke that circuit preach'r from down at Bethel. > > Grits > > Knew that feller I did .. he got kicked outa Bethel and come to Guthrie, > KY back in the middle 50's .. name was Brutha Will .. come fum a family > with a glorious history'a making fine White Lightening .. and he useta > partake now and then .. fer medicinal purposes you unnerstand. Will he > had a sister name'a Wilomena whut use'ta give all us boys lessons on all > them thangs we wuz supposed to know once't we got married and all. > > That wuz back when I wuz a reg'lar, unwillin' participator of the Sunday > Morning reg'lar scheduled activities at the Guthrie First Baptist > Church, a gar-n-teed glorified, bonyfied, sanctified, tongues tawkin' > Suthran Fried Baptist Church it wuz. Mamma made me go ... same whut the > other mommas done fer their younguns .. and we all tried to make the > best uv'it we did. Like sitting in the back row and making farting > noises whilst keeping real straight faces .. or jumping up an hollering > Hallelujah when Brutha Will ain't said nuthing fer to brang on such > behavior. > > Well one day .. Brutha Will went a little bit too far ... I reckon if > all > wuz told like it really oughta be, me and Billy Wayne Sales and L.C. > Moss and Rufus Jones sorta helped him along we did. This is a fact > y'all. > > Y'all know how all them ol' bittys likes to sit up on the front row and > then when they plays the invitational, they stands up, turns around and > starts putting the eyeball on the congregation .. seeking out them folks > whut is sinners and ain't been saved yet. Then they parade on back, sit > down next'ta the unfortunate victim and preach till the sacrificee gets > up and goes forward to be saved .. and to get away from the bitty. Well > me an my buddies done had'ta go thru all that afore and we decided we > wuz gonna make them bittys pay fer'shur! And on that one day I'm gonna > tell you about .. them bittys didn't collect no feathers for their > warbonnets! > On that Sunday, me and my pardners done decided we wuz gonna liven > thangs up a bit .. gonna sponsor our own revival .. gonna outdo the > bittys and see just hjow much commotion we could stir amongst them folks > whut gen'ly just sat there sleeping when they wuzn't swatting flies or > hitting on their younguns .. and the bittys .. and Brutha Will. > > Brutha Will wuz in fine form when he come in, and we seen that he kept > drinking on that glass'a water like he was some kinda turible parched. > So we took that operytunaty to do our thang. When Will commenced'a > preaching, we started jumpin' up and hollerin' " Right on Preacher " , and > " Tell it like it is Brutha Will, " and " Praise the Lawd Y'all, " and > such. Now that mighta embarrassed some folks but they wuzn't gonna say > nuthing cause the first thang you know, them bittys commenced to join in > .. and I > knowed Mama wuzn't gonna do nuthing cause she wuz in a different pew, > so > we just kept on hollerin' and stokin' that fire. > > Then Brutha Will got into the Spirit he did .. cause he ain't never seen > no such goings on come from his preaching. He got into all that Hell > Fire > and Damnation stuff and the more he hollered, the more we hollered and > the more we hollered, the more them bittys jumped up and praised God .. > and the more Brutha Will drank from that water glass. > > Bye and bye, Will commenced to wandering off into Never Never Land and > tawkin' in tongues and such. Then ... he shocked all the bittys when he > pronounced that Moses tied his ass to a tree and then walked 20 miles. > > Well ... four or five uv'em wuz stretched out on the floor whilst four > or five more wuza fannin'em with their programs. Bout that time, Rufus > Jones jumped up and hollered out loud that the Spirit of the Lawd done > visatated our congregation .. and that got Will even more excited .. and > then Will cut loose witha Pulitizer Prize winner .. in the steadiest > voice I ever done heard from him, Brutha Will pronounced .. > > " We gonna whup the Devil just like Samson done when he took the jawbone > of a horse's ass and whipped all the Philippines. " > > Me and my buddies commenced to laughing and rolling around on the floor. > Folks whut seen us figgered that the Spirit done really crept in so they > started doing the same thang .. and first thang I knowed Mama done > grabbed my ear, snatched me up in no kind way and headed for the door. > > Got'a good butt whupping when I got home but all and all, I reckon it > wuz > well worth it cause Mama didn't make me go back to the church house for > more'n a month ... ;-p > > > >Uh .. but .. this one doesn't belong in a list of jokes .. its in the > > >Bible somewhere .. I think. Butch ;-p > > > > > >Marilyn Nicholson wrote: > > > > > > > + Why did God create man before woman? > > > > He didn't want any advice. > > > How To Make Rose Petal Jam - Step By Step Instructions > http://www.av-at.com/stuff/rosejam.html > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2002 Report Share Posted January 29, 2002 Yo Janet, > Butch- > You be soundin' lyke that circuit preach'r from down at Bethel. > Grits Knew that feller I did .. he got kicked outa Bethel and come to Guthrie, KY back in the middle 50's .. name was Brutha Will .. come fum a family with a glorious history'a making fine White Lightening .. and he useta partake now and then .. fer medicinal purposes you unnerstand. Will he had a sister name'a Wilomena whut use'ta give all us boys lessons on all them thangs we wuz supposed to know once't we got married and all. That wuz back when I wuz a reg'lar, unwillin' participator of the Sunday Morning reg'lar scheduled activities at the Guthrie First Baptist Church, a gar-n-teed glorified, bonyfied, sanctified, tongues tawkin' Suthran Fried Baptist Church it wuz. Mamma made me go ... same whut the other mommas done fer their younguns .. and we all tried to make the best uv'it we did. Like sitting in the back row and making farting noises whilst keeping real straight faces .. or jumping up an hollering Hallelujah when Brutha Will ain't said nuthing fer to brang on such behavior. Well one day .. Brutha Will went a little bit too far ... I reckon if all wuz told like it really oughta be, me and Billy Wayne Sales and L.C. Moss and Rufus Jones sorta helped him along we did. This is a fact y'all. Y'all know how all them ol' bittys likes to sit up on the front row and then when they plays the invitational, they stands up, turns around and starts putting the eyeball on the congregation .. seeking out them folks whut is sinners and ain't been saved yet. Then they parade on back, sit down next'ta the unfortunate victim and preach till the sacrificee gets up and goes forward to be saved .. and to get away from the bitty. Well me an my buddies done had'ta go thru all that afore and we decided we wuz gonna make them bittys pay fer'shur! And on that one day I'm gonna tell you about .. them bittys didn't collect no feathers for their warbonnets! On that Sunday, me and my pardners done decided we wuz gonna liven thangs up a bit .. gonna sponsor our own revival .. gonna outdo the bittys and see just hjow much commotion we could stir amongst them folks whut gen'ly just sat there sleeping when they wuzn't swatting flies or hitting on their younguns .. and the bittys .. and Brutha Will. Brutha Will wuz in fine form when he come in, and we seen that he kept drinking on that glass'a water like he was some kinda turible parched. So we took that operytunaty to do our thang. When Will commenced'a preaching, we started jumpin' up and hollerin' " Right on Preacher " , and " Tell it like it is Brutha Will, " and " Praise the Lawd Y'all, " and such. Now that mighta embarrassed some folks but they wuzn't gonna say nuthing cause the first thang you know, them bittys commenced to join in ... and I knowed Mama wuzn't gonna do nuthing cause she wuz in a different pew, so we just kept on hollerin' and stokin' that fire. Then Brutha Will got into the Spirit he did .. cause he ain't never seen no such goings on come from his preaching. He got into all that Hell Fire and Damnation stuff and the more he hollered, the more we hollered and the more we hollered, the more them bittys jumped up and praised God .. and the more Brutha Will drank from that water glass. Bye and bye, Will commenced to wandering off into Never Never Land and tawkin' in tongues and such. Then ... he shocked all the bittys when he pronounced that Moses tied his ass to a tree and then walked 20 miles. Well ... four or five uv'em wuz stretched out on the floor whilst four or five more wuza fannin'em with their programs. Bout that time, Rufus Jones jumped up and hollered out loud that the Spirit of the Lawd done visatated our congregation .. and that got Will even more excited .. and then Will cut loose witha Pulitizer Prize winner .. in the steadiest voice I ever done heard from him, Brutha Will pronounced .. " We gonna whup the Devil just like Samson done when he took the jawbone of a horse's ass and whipped all the Philippines. " Me and my buddies commenced to laughing and rolling around on the floor. Folks whut seen us figgered that the Spirit done really crept in so they started doing the same thang .. and first thang I knowed Mama done grabbed my ear, snatched me up in no kind way and headed for the door. Got'a good butt whupping when I got home but all and all, I reckon it wuz well worth it cause Mama didn't make me go back to the church house for more'n a month ... ;-p > >Uh .. but .. this one doesn't belong in a list of jokes .. its in the > >Bible somewhere .. I think. Butch ;-p > > > >Marilyn Nicholson wrote: > > > > > + Why did God create man before woman? > > > He didn't want any advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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