OT: Recipes from the past page and jokes!

[Guest guest]

Hiya all,

 

Thought this page might be of interest to some of you (Chris! lol)

 

http://webmall1.com/sweetdreams/pastrecipes.htm

 

Tons of recipes on here...

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JOKES

 

POEM: GIRLS

 

There are many good things in life,

Like cars, money, and weed.

But if you want something confusing,

A girl is all you need.

 

A girl doesn't say what she wants,

But you're somehow supposed to know.

If they want to do this or do that,

Stay here, stay there, or just go.

 

Then there's " the time, " you all know what I mean:

That monthly " little joy "

That lets them abuse the crap out of you,

Just for being a boy.

 

They take nothing and blow it up,

And make a tremendous fuss.

So girls, no matter what you think,

You are just as hard to understand as us.

 

___________________________

Morris went to his lawyer Birnbaum and told him,

" My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up.

What should I do? "

" Do you have any proof? " asked the lawyer.

" Nope, " Morris replied.

" Okay, then write him a nasty letter asking him for the $1000

he owes you, " said the lawyer Birnbaum.

" But it's only $500, " Morris insisted.

" Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will then have

the proof we need to nail him. "

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TERRORISTS MULTIPLYING IN THE SOUTH

 

The Governors of Alabama, Georgia and Mississippi would

like to announce that they've made a disturbing discovery

in their states. Apparently, a small number of terrorists

have become romantically involved with the locals.

 

The result was not pretty, and we now have the sad task of

reporting a new sector of the human race: ISLAMABUBBAS.

So far, only a smattering of actual births have been reported,

and we are hard at work trying to isolate and seal them off.

 

To date, we have identified the following:

 

Mohammed Billy Bob Abba Bubba,

Mohammed Jethro Bin Thinkin Boutit,

Mohammed Forrest Gumpa Bubba,

Mohammed Rubba Dub Dubba Bubba,

Betty Jean Hasbenna Badgurl,

Cleavie Daba Hava Tampa,

Linda SueBin There Dunthat.

 

Not surprisingly, they all seem to have sprung from 1 couple:

Mohammed Whoozyadaddy and Yomamma Bin Lovin.

_______________________________

Stuff:

 

At first I thought, " How could women be from

Venus? It's got an atmosphere of poisonous gas! "

And then I made the connection: potpourri!

(Larry Hollister)

 

I have this continuous buzzing in my right ear, and

if it turns out to be a bee, I guess I'll finally

have the pet my parents would never let me have,

and I'll name him Happy the Bee, 'cause you can

affect a pet's attitude with simple gestures like that.

(Tidewater Joe)

 

As I grow older and learn more about religions

other than my own, it occurs to me that at age 19

I experienced a miracle; a sort of reverse Hanukkah.

I call it " Hashanukkah " -- I know I had enough hash oil

to last for eight nights, but it only lasted for one.

(Dave Juurlink)

 

I just bet that if world peace breaks out someday,

there'll be lots of parties around the world.

Then someone will get drunk and start a fight.

(Natalie Redmeier)

__________________________

Enjoy!

 

Hugs,

 

Marilyn