Thanks for being such a wonderful group

[Guest guest]

Marie,

 

It hasn't been nearly long enough for you to get over your grief or

sadness... give it time. Try to get out and visit friends or family, talk

to folks and begin to appreciate them for what they do. It will help get

you out of your shell for a few minutes. Someday you will be able to accept

the love from others and that is something to look forward to, believe me.

Hang in there.

 

Bob

-

" infomcf " <infomcf

<oleander soup >

Saturday, January 02, 2010 12:10 PM

Re: Thanks for being such a wonderful group

 

 

> Hi Tony,

>

> Im sorry to say that nothing is helping me at the moment.

>

> I just don't want to live without Malcolm. How can anyone live a life

> without love? I just dont want to do it.

>

> Marie

>

>

>

> ---

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Marie.

 

I know exactly what you mean and how you feel, take it from me sweety it want be easy but you have to try, for your sake for your family if you have and for Malcoms sake.

 

Dont make Malcom unhappy because when he see's you suffer so much, he will blame himself for your suffering, it may sound stupid what i'm saying to you, but i believe that people dont die they just cross over for little while and then they come back to take care of us.

 

So you see Marie Malcom will always be with you, no in a physical form but in spirit and with his love he will always keep you safe and guide you through life.

 

I will tell you something that happen to me some weeks after Kon pass on, i was crying daily i was not eating or care for me and lock my self in the house, in few words i was like a wild animal not caring for nothing.

 

One night i dream of Kon and he was knee deep in dirty water, i ask him why he was standing in there ? and he said to me, stop crying or i will be like this for ever that scared me so much, so the next day i ask someone from a religious group what that meant, and he said yes it's true you can make the person you love suffer because you hold him back, and you dont allow him to go to the light and heal.

 

He also tell me to use this words last thing at night before i fell a sleep, Gow to the light and heal.

 

After that talk i strarted getting busy i painted the whole house, plus doing lots of things by my self with Kons guidence. I still miss Kon like crazy but i started taking care of myself because i was having health problems, and i know he would like it.

 

I hope you get something out of this post Marie, and use it for your healing, i will be thinking of you and sent you positive vibes

Hugs Mary

 

 

 

-

infomcf

oleander soup

Sunday, January 03, 2010 7:10 AM

Re: Thanks for being such a wonderful group

Hi Tony,Im sorry to say that nothing is helping me at the moment.I just don't want to live without Malcolm. How can anyone live a life without love? I just dont want to do it.Marie

[Guest guest]

Hello, Marie.

 

Have you ever heard of EFT (emotional freedom techniques)? I would like to share some thoughts with you, because I have experienced the kind of change that EFT tapping can bring.

 

You might find it interesting to read some stories about grief on Gary Craig's web site www.emofree.com. One of the stories is of a woman whose child was stillborn, although it had been healthy and active in the womb right up to labor. She was so grief-stricken that she became catatonic and could not work anymore. A friend finally took her to an EFT practitioner. Even he felt overwhelmed at first by the depth of her grief, but he started tapping on the side of her hand, waiting for the right setup statement to come to him... To make a long story short, that woman spoke her first words in months during that session, which stunned both the practitioner and her friend, and eventually, with more visits to him, and with doing the tapping herself and with her friend whenever things triggered the grief, she got her life back.

 

So.. While you go out and visit that web site, or any other web site where they give instructions on how to do EFT for yourself, I will type out a few setup statements that you could start with, once you know the tapping points.

 

Even though nothing is helping, and I just don't want to live without Malcolm, I deeply and completely accept myself with these feelings. (tapping on the outside edge of either hand).

Even though it's impossible for me to start healing now from my grief, and I can never ever be happy again, I deeply and completely accept myself.

Even though I am utterly grief-stricken, and I just don't want to go on alone, I accept myself and this grief. (still tapping)

Even though nobody and nothing can help me, and nothing can possibly make me start healing now, and I don't want to go on, and I'll never feel like going on again, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway. (still tapping)

Even though Malcolm shouldn't have died, and he shouldn't have left me alone like this, I love and forgive Malcolm, wherever he is right now...

Even though I don't want to live without love, and Malcolm was the only source of love in the universe, and he's gone, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway...

 

Have you found the web site yet? Found a diagram of the tapping points? Tap through those points, saying phrases like:

 

I can't live without love, there's no more love for me in the world, all my love is gone because Malcolm is gone, no one else's love is important to me only his, I'm so alone, I am so full of grief, I'm so full of sorrow, how can I live without his love, I feel so depressed and alone, I'm crying all the time, this crying, this grief, this loneliness, how could he die, how could he leave me alone like this, how dare he do that, no one will love me, I can't live without love, etc.

 

Anyway, that's a start. The neat thing about EFT is you don't have to pretend that you feel good, or that you're going to get better. You just say it like it is in the moment, you rant, you rave, you cry, and you tap like crazy. The funny thing is that, even though you are expressing all the misery and grief and not trying one bit to feel better... because you are tapping and unblocking energy... the feelings start to change... and you start feeling better...

 

Try it. You may be surprised. And, if you feel some resistance to the idea of "being surprised" and changing the feelings, start here:

 

Even though I don't WANT to be surprised, haven't I already been through enough? and I don't want to have my feelings changed, because they are too real, and I don't really want to start healing now, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway. (tap tap tap tap tap)

 

big hug from a stranger,

LAL

 

 

[Guest guest]

thank you very much for the support and feed back. i look forward to getting to know everyone in the group. it is so nice that i have so many responses. i never thought that it would be such a welcome. i don't have the internet at home so i will write back when i can. please stay in touch. happy new year Donna <dscroggs44646oleander soup Sent: Sun, January 3, 2010 10:31:42 AMRe: Re: Thanks for being such a wonderful group

These are very good suggestions and yes I encourage you to do this Marie!We love you,Donna ACS> >> Marie,>> I really understand your pain. I have been there and I am there.>> People here suggested going hour by hour- that is so sensible. In > such a state survival requires to get through the next moment- even > mechanically.>> I have two practical suggestions->> I suggested Bach Flower Remedies previously and now hearing your > state I really urge you to take them. You have nothing to lose but can > gain considerably. They have helped me very much. They sooth and help > transform negative states to positive without removing whatever is > needed for development. In my case I find myself beginning to > transform pain into an even deeper love for my departed wife and > transforming it to a

more spiritual level. I deeply feel the loss of > not having her here, not having a physical being with me with whom to > express that love and am teaching myself to find other avenues to > express that love. You are in the UK and there are many Bach > practitioners there-I really strongly suggest you try this. A > treatment bottle containing Rescue Remedy ,Walnut and white chestnut > is a good combination for the beginning until you get to a practitioner.>> The second thing I really recommend is to write. I have been doing so > since the day after my wife died . I have reams of mental ramblings on > MSWord docs. It helps me incredibly to assimilate this state and is a > release of thoughts , emotions and feelings. Just write whatever comes > out- even a pack of nonsense at the beginning.>> Really wishing you to keep at least one nostril above the

water- you > can make it. In my tradition it is a known that no trail and travail > is given to a person that he cannot overcome. A person might not be > aware of having the strength to get over her suffering and grief, he > might have to go deep into the mire, but the strength is there. Deep > down you have it. Just by the mere fact of you writing to this group > shows the beginning of that strengths expression. Inside you there is > an unconscious part of you that wants to survive, succeed and overcome.>> With much empathetic feeling,>> Jeremy>> >> >> >> ** oleander soup > oleander soup *On Behalf Of *TonyI> *Sent:* Sunday, January 03, 2010 4:03 AM> *To:* oleander soup > *Subject:* Re: Thanks for being such a wonderful group>> >> >> Marie ->> I understand - the loss is too recent and too raw right now. But life > does go on and it must go on. You have lost the physical Malcolm but > have not lost his love. True love never dies. And you have to know > that Malcolm would tell you that he wants you to go on and live and > enjoy life.>> Peace will come, Marie. You just have to take it one day at a > time. It may come slowly perhaps and yes it will be painful, but the

> pain will subsie and if you keep and cherish Malcolm in your heart, > the pain will lesson and his memory will replace much of the pain you > are now feeling. He will always be with you.>> I am sorry that my meager words cannot do more to comfort and help > you, but I do hope that you keep all of the wonderful words and love > that has come from our family here in your heart too and in time as > the numbness lessons they may still help you find more meaning and > comfort than you do now.>> And please remember that we are all here for you and always will be.>> All the very best,>> Tony>>> oleander soup , "infomcf" <infomcf wrote:> >> > Hi Tony,> >> > Im

sorry to say that nothing is helping me at the moment.> >> > I just don't want to live without Malcolm. How can anyone live a > life without love? I just dont want to do it.> >> > Marie> >>> ---

[Guest guest]

Lal,

 

What a wonderful, caring person you are. God bless Marie and God bless you for reaching out. What a totally unselfish person you are. I pray that Marie will read every word you wrote and will be as moved as I am. No, I am not suffering as she is, but I was so warmed by your caring for her feelings, my prayer is that she will read every word and accept that big hug from a stranger.

 

Barbara N Germany--- On Mon, 1/4/10, Luckiman <leslielackman wrote:

Luckiman <leslielackman Thanks for being such a wonderful groupoleander soup Date: Monday, January 4, 2010, 12:50 AM

 

 

 

Hello, Marie.

 

Have you ever heard of EFT (emotional freedom techniques)? I would like to share some thoughts with you, because I have experienced the kind of change that EFT tapping can bring.

 

You might find it interesting to read some stories about grief on Gary Craig's web site www.emofree.com. One of the stories is of a woman whose child was stillborn, although it had been healthy and active in the womb right up to labor. She was so grief-stricken that she became catatonic and could not work anymore. A friend finally took her to an EFT practitioner. Even he felt overwhelmed at first by the depth of her grief, but he started tapping on the side of her hand, waiting for the right setup statement to come to him... To make a long story short, that woman spoke her first words in months during that session, which stunned both the practitioner and her friend, and eventually, with more visits to him, and with doing the tapping herself and with her friend whenever things triggered the grief, she got her life back.

 

So.. While you go out and visit that web site, or any other web site where they give instructions on how to do EFT for yourself, I will type out a few setup statements that you could start with, once you know the tapping points.

 

Even though nothing is helping, and I just don't want to live without Malcolm, I deeply and completely accept myself with these feelings. (tapping on the outside edge of either hand).

Even though it's impossible for me to start healing now from my grief, and I can never ever be happy again, I deeply and completely accept myself.

Even though I am utterly grief-stricken, and I just don't want to go on alone, I accept myself and this grief. (still tapping)

Even though nobody and nothing can help me, and nothing can possibly make me start healing now, and I don't want to go on, and I'll never feel like going on again, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway. (still tapping)

Even though Malcolm shouldn't have died, and he shouldn't have left me alone like this, I love and forgive Malcolm, wherever he is right now...

Even though I don't want to live without love, and Malcolm was the only source of love in the universe, and he's gone, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway...

 

Have you found the web site yet? Found a diagram of the tapping points? Tap through those points, saying phrases like:

 

I can't live without love, there's no more love for me in the world, all my love is gone because Malcolm is gone, no one else's love is important to me only his, I'm so alone, I am so full of grief, I'm so full of sorrow, how can I live without his love, I feel so depressed and alone, I'm crying all the time, this crying, this grief, this loneliness, how could he die, how could he leave me alone like this, how dare he do that, no one will love me, I can't live without love, etc.

 

Anyway, that's a start. The neat thing about EFT is you don't have to pretend that you feel good, or that you're going to get better. You just say it like it is in the moment, you rant, you rave, you cry, and you tap like crazy. The funny thing is that, even though you are expressing all the misery and grief and not trying one bit to feel better... because you are tapping and unblocking energy... the feelings start to change... and you start feeling better...

 

Try it. You may be surprised. And, if you feel some resistance to the idea of "being surprised" and changing the feelings, start here:

 

Even though I don't WANT to be surprised, haven't I already been through enough? and I don't want to have my feelings changed, because they are too real, and I don't really want to start healing now, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway. (tap tap tap tap tap)

 

big hug from a stranger,

LAL

 

 

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/2/2010 6:39:09 P.M. Central Standard Time, mary1kon writes:

 

One night i dream of Kon and he was knee deep in dirty water, i ask him why he was standing in there ? and he said to me, stop crying or i will be like this for ever that scared me so much, so the next day i ask someone from a religious group what that meant, and he said yes it's true you can make the person you love suffer because you hold him back, and you dont allow him to go to the light and heal.

________________

Mary, the last time I dreamt of my mom, she was in a boat with her sisters, who have also

passed. The water was calm and peaceful.

 

Marie, I do pray you have a dream of Malcolm soon. It's just like spending time with him

when he was here. You could ask this in prayer.

 

Terri

[Guest guest]

Terri,I find your dream very interesting. When my grandad passed away back in the 1980's, he was in my dreams for six months straight. I think he was trying to tell me something, but whatever it is I think I missed it.Anyway, the very last dream I had of him, we were both in a beautiful lake. Maybe a pond. I was waist deep in the water and he was in a rowboat surrounded by light and as the rowboat was slowly moving away from me, he was waving and telling me he loved me and I was waving back and telling him that I loved him. I didn't want him to leave, but there was nothing I could do about it. I still remember that dream vividly to this very day.Hugs,

[Guest guest]

Hi Terri.

 

That sounds so beautifull, and i think because you did not acted stupid like me.

 

Now things have change and when i dream of Kon he's happy well and laughs like he use to, then i dint know any better i was in a lot of pain and i was holding Kon back and din't want to let him go.

 

I just wish Marrie learns from my mistake and lets go of Malcom, no his love or his memory, but to allow him to go and heal.

 

Thanks for the feed back Terri.

Hugs Mary

 

 

 

-

sstenycat

oleander soup

Tuesday, January 05, 2010 11:55 AM

Re: Re: Thanks for being such a wonderful group

 

In a message dated 1/2/2010 6:39:09 P.M. Central Standard Time, mary1kon (AT) optusnet (DOT) com.au writes:

 

One night i dream of Kon and he was knee deep in dirty water, i ask him why he was standing in there ? and he said to me, stop crying or i will be like this for ever that scared me so much, so the next day i ask someone from a religious group what that meant, and he said yes it's true you can make the person you love suffer because you hold him back, and you dont allow him to go to the light and heal.

________________

Mary, the last time I dreamt of my mom, she was in a boat with her sisters, who have also

passed. The water was calm and peaceful.

 

Marie, I do pray you have a dream of Malcolm soon. It's just like spending time with him

when he was here. You could ask this in prayer.

 

Terri

[Guest guest]

Maybe your dream about your grandfather was he was trying to tell you to

get baptized or religion in your life! I'm sure it was something too

but wouldn't know what, just my thoughts since it was in a lake.

Donna ACS

 

>

> Terri,

>

> I find your dream very interesting. When my grandad passed away back

> in the 1980's, he was in my dreams for six months straight. I think

> he was trying to tell me something, but whatever it is I think I

> missed it.

>

> Anyway, the very last dream I had of him, we were both in a beautiful

> lake. Maybe a pond. I was waist deep in the water and he was in a

> rowboat surrounded by light and as the rowboat was slowly moving away

> from me, he was waving and telling me he loved me and I was waving

> back and telling him that I loved him. I didn't want him to leave,

> but there was nothing I could do about it. I still remember that

> dream vividly to this very day.

>

> Hugs,

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Marie, don’t think like that. God is

Love He is the One who gave you Malcolm and I know you have love in your heart

for God and Malcolm but Malcolm slip away from you but you still have love dear

Marie, because God is with you; and for some reason you still have Malcolm in

your heart. Believe me I know it’s not easy. Why? Because I lost one of

my brothers 2 years ago he was my closest one. He was like a father to me we

were only (1) a year a part I am older than he was. It was terrifying I found

my self explaining how I lost him to people who didn’t even know me and

they were so gracious by listening to me. It’s been a longtime since I

cry but by writing this letter I am also touch by all your grief. Marie you are

a woman full of love, you‘re been there for us we want to be there for

you and I belief your pain been touching all of us. I will keep on praying for

you and May the light of the Lord keep on shining in and on you.

 

Marie

F.

 

 

 

 

 

oleander soup oleander soup On Behalf Of infomcf

Saturday, January 02, 2010

3:10 PM

oleander soup

Re: Thanks

for being such a wonderful group

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Tony,

 

Im sorry to say that nothing is helping me at the moment.

 

I just don't want to live without Malcolm. How can anyone live a life without

love? I just dont want to do it.

 

Marie