Thanks for being such a wonderful group

[Guest guest]

I just wanted to say that I am so proud of all the wonderful and supportive messages this group has posted. My heart has been touched and gladdened and my own pain lifted by seeing so much care and love for one another. Happy tears are so much better than tears of sorrow, and I have a few of those this very moment.

I am particularly glad to see Jeremy doing so well, as I am to see the progress that others have made who have lost loved ones in the past. We all know the anguish and torment that poured off the pages in his messages after his own loss - and I hope and pray that Marie sees all the messages and that they help her on her own healing path.

You wonderful guys and gals are indeed our family and we love you each and everyone.

I wish all a restorative, healthful, and joyous new year. We're here for you always.

Love,

Tony

[Guest guest]

Happy new year and all the best Tony, and everyone else :)On Thu, Dec 31, 2009 at 2:08 PM, wrote:

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just wanted to say that I am so proud of all the wonderful and supportive messages this group has posted.  My heart has been touched and gladdened and my own pain lifted by seeing so much care and love for one another.  Happy tears are so much better than tears of sorrow, and I have a few of those this very moment.

I am particularly glad to see Jeremy doing so well, as I am to see the progress that others have made who have lost loved ones in the past.  We all know the anguish and torment that poured off the pages in his messages after his own loss - and I hope and pray that Marie sees all the messages and that they help her on her own healing path.

You wonderful guys and gals are indeed our family and we love you each and everyone.

I wish all a restorative, healthful, and joyous new year.  We're here for you always.

Love,

Tony

[Guest guest]

Tony and ----I thank God for both of you and the knowledge He has given you.sandy --- On Thu, 12/31/09, wrote:TonyI Thanks for being such a wonderful groupoleander soup Date: Thursday, December 31, 2009, 1:08 PM

 

 

I just wanted to say that I am so proud of all the wonderful and supportive messages this group has posted. My heart has been touched and gladdened and my own pain lifted by seeing so much care and love for one another. Happy tears are so much better than tears of sorrow, and I have a few of those this very moment.

I am particularly glad to see Jeremy doing so well, as I am to see the progress that others have made who have lost loved ones in the past. We all know the anguish and torment that poured off the pages in his messages after his own loss - and I hope and pray that Marie sees all the messages and that they help her on her own healing path.

You wonderful guys and gals are indeed our family and we love you each and everyone.

I wish all a restorative, healthful, and joyous new year. We're here for you always.

Love,

Tony

[Guest guest]

Tony,

You and are the best. Whatever would this group do without you two.

 

barbara N Germany--- On Thu, 12/31/09, wrote:

TonyI Thanks for being such a wonderful groupoleander soup Date: Thursday, December 31, 2009, 2:08 PM

 

 

I just wanted to say that I am so proud of all the wonderful and supportive messages this group has posted. My heart has been touched and gladdened and my own pain lifted by seeing so much care and love for one another. Happy tears are so much better than tears of sorrow, and I have a few of those this very moment.

I am particularly glad to see Jeremy doing so well, as I am to see the progress that others have made who have lost loved ones in the past. We all know the anguish and torment that poured off the pages in his messages after his own loss - and I hope and pray that Marie sees all the messages and that they help her on her own healing path.

You wonderful guys and gals are indeed our family and we love you each and everyone.

I wish all a restorative, healthful, and joyous new year. We're here for you always.

Love,

Tony

[Guest guest]

Tony,Thank you for sending along such a warm message. I certainly wish you, your family, and our extended family on this list serve the very best of health, healing, and love in the coming new year. And a Happy New Year to Marc as well.Allenoleander soup From: Date: Thu, 31 Dec 2009 19:08:42 +0000 Thanks for being such a wonderful group

 

I just wanted to say that I am so proud of all the wonderful and supportive messages this group has posted. My heart has been touched and gladdened and my own pain lifted by seeing so much care and love for one another. Happy tears are so much better than tears of sorrow, and I have a few of those this very moment.

I am particularly glad to see Jeremy doing so well, as I am to see the progress that others have made who have lost loved ones in the past. We all know the anguish and torment that poured off the pages in his messages after his own loss - and I hope and pray that Marie sees all the messages and that they help her on her own healing path.

You wonderful guys and gals are indeed our family and we love you each and everyone.

I wish all a restorative, healthful, and joyous new year. We're here for you always.

Love,

Tony

[Guest guest]

Echo !!!!!!!!

Happy new year to you and plus health love prosperity and some luck for good messure.

 

Thank you for being here for us, both of you.

Hugs Mary

 

-

TonyI

oleander soup

Friday, January 01, 2010 6:08 AM

Thanks for being such a wonderful group

 

I just wanted to say that I am so proud of all the wonderful and supportive messages this group has posted. My heart has been touched and gladdened and my own pain lifted by seeing so much care and love for one another. Happy tears are so much better than tears of sorrow, and I have a few of those this very moment.

I am particularly glad to see Jeremy doing so well, as I am to see the progress that others have made who have lost loved ones in the past. We all know the anguish and torment that poured off the pages in his messages after his own loss - and I hope and pray that Marie sees all the messages and that they help her on her own healing path.

You wonderful guys and gals are indeed our family and we love you each and everyone.

I wish all a restorative, healthful, and joyous new year. We're here for you always.

Love,

Tony

[Guest guest]

Hi Tony,

 

Im sorry to say that nothing is helping me at the moment.

 

I just don't want to live without Malcolm. How can anyone live a life without

love? I just dont want to do it.

 

Marie

[Guest guest]

You can go on and must for Malcolm, he would not be happy with you

saying these things. After a time there is life still out there and you

have it to live!

Healing energy coming your way..

Please try!

Donna ACS

>

> Hi Tony,

>

> Im sorry to say that nothing is helping me at the moment.

>

> I just don't want to live without Malcolm. How can anyone live a life

> without love? I just dont want to do it.

>

> Marie

>

>

[Guest guest]

Marie,

You're not living without love. You're only living without the physical existence of Malcolm. He still loves you, just as you still love him. Also, there is a major outpouring of love from all over the world via this group. We all, in some way or another, know how you feel to an extent. Some of us more than others, but we have all experienced a form of grief in our lives.

 

I am so sorry you are feeling this pain. Would I could wave a magic wand and make it go away; however, were I to do that, you would not be able to experience the joy that I know will come to you, so I guess I'm glad I can't take it away.

 

One minute at a time. It's difficult, but you can do it.

 

Love,

Shara

 

 

 

 

 

 

infomcf <infomcf

oleander soup

Sat, Jan 2, 2010 2:10 pm

Re: Thanks for being such a wonderful group

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Tony,

 

Im sorry to say that nothing is helping me at the moment.

 

I just don't want to live without Malcolm. How can anyone live a life without love? I just dont want to do it.

 

Marie

[Guest guest]

Marie,My heart goes out to you. Many of us on this forum are familiar with the pain and devastation caused by the passing of a loved one. I, personally, know how it feels not thinking that I could go on. You are in no way living without love. There is love all around you and you, yourself, have love to give. Most of all, you have in no way lost Malcolm's love. Death does not break the bonds of love. They are there, forever. Life does go on Marie, in time. Step by step, it will get better. Take it one day at a time. But first, one must go through the grieving process. Do you have someone that you can talk to?I believe Terri offered to give you the link for a grief support group. Why don't you take her up on

this. These types of support groups have helped many heal.I know what you are going through Mary. Many years ago I felt the same way, and I believe that many in this group can relate to your feelings all too well.Please know that you are in our prayers. Just take it one step at a time, one day at a time. And know that we are here for you.Many Hugs,

[Guest guest]

Marie,Please, just live one hour at a time right now. Don't look any farther into the future than that.For the next hour, read a book, make and eat a healthful meal, watch something funny on TV. You are looking way too far into the future when you talk about life. Please don't do it. You are a valuable person who has a lot to give, but for now, just live for the next hour.If there is a friend or relative close by, ask them over to be with you. If not, go to your relatives for a while, to live hour by hour. It is too early yet for a grief group, so just let the tears out when they come, and stop yourself from thinking ahead. Looking back, you did the best you could, and you will be proud of that someday.You are in our prayers,Ted--- On Sat, 1/2/10, infomcf

<infomcf wrote:infomcf <infomcf Re: Thanks for being such a wonderful groupoleander soup Date: Saturday, January 2, 2010, 3:10 PM

 

 

Hi Tony,

 

Im sorry to say that nothing is helping me at the moment.

 

I just don't want to live without Malcolm. How can anyone live a life without love? I just dont want to do it.

 

Marie

[Guest guest]

Marie,

Mary is right. Malcolm will visit you in your dreams and let you know everything is okay. I truly believe that these are not simply dreams, but real visits. My grandparents came to me in this way to let me know they were okay. My grandmother actually came back to see my new baby, because she passed away 2 weeks before the baby was born. We had a wonderful visit, and I know that she approves of her namesake.

 

Marie, I'm really worried about you. You can contact me off-list if you would like. The folks in this group truly care about you. Please listen to them. They have a lot of things that will help you get through this.

 

Love,

Shara

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maria <mary1kon

oleander soup

Sat, Jan 2, 2010 6:37 pm

Re: Re: Thanks for being such a wonderful group

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Marie.

 

I know exactly what you mean and how you feel, take it from me sweety it want be easy but you have to try, for your sake for your family if you have and for Malcoms sake.

 

Dont make Malcom unhappy because when he see's you suffer so much, he will blame himself for your suffering, it may sound stupid what i'm saying to you, but i believe that people dont die they just cross over for little while and then they come back to take care of us.

 

So you see Marie Malcom will always be with you, no in a physical form but in spirit and with his love he will always keep you safe and guide you through life.

 

I will tell you something that happen to me some weeks after Kon pass on, i was crying daily i was not eating or care for me and lock my self in the house, in few words i was like a wild animal not caring for nothing.

 

One night i dream of Kon and he was knee deep in dirty water, i ask him why he was standing in there ? and he said to me, stop crying or i will be like this for ever that scared me so much, so the next day i ask someone from a religious group what that meant, and he said yes it's true you can make the person you love suffer because you hold him back, and you dont allow him to go to the light and heal.

 

He also tell me to use this words last thing at night before i fell a sleep, Gow to the light and heal.

 

After that talk i strarted getting busy i painted the whole house, plus doing lots of things by my self with Kons guidence. I still miss Kon like crazy but i started taking care of myself because i was having health problems, and i know he would like it.

 

I hope you get something out of this post Marie, and use it for your healing, i will be thinking of you and sent you positive vibes

Hugs Mary

 

 

 

-

infomcf

oleander soup

Sunday, January 03, 2010 7:10 AM

Re: Thanks for being such a wonderful group

 

 

Hi Tony,

 

Im sorry to say that nothing is helping me at the moment.

 

I just don't want to live without Malcolm. How can anyone live a life without love? I just dont want to do it.

 

Marie

[Guest guest]

Marie -

I understand - the loss is too recent and too raw right now. But life does go on and it must go on. You have lost the physical Malcolm but have not lost his love. True love never dies. And you have to know that Malcolm would tell you that he wants you to go on and live and enjoy life.

Peace will come, Marie. You just have to take it one day at a time. It may come slowly perhaps and yes it will be painful, but the pain will subsie and if you keep and cherish Malcolm in your heart, the pain will lesson and his memory will replace much of the pain you are now feeling. He will always be with you.

I am sorry that my meager words cannot do more to comfort and help you, but I do hope that you keep all of the wonderful words and love that has come from our family here in your heart too and in time as the numbness lessons they may still help you find more meaning and comfort than you do now.

And please remember that we are all here for you and always will be.

All the very best,

oleander soup , "infomcf" <infomcf wrote:>> Hi Tony,> > Im sorry to say that nothing is helping me at the moment.> > I just don't want to live without Malcolm. How can anyone live a life without love? I just dont want to do it.> > Marie>

[Guest guest]

Marie,

 I really understand your pain. I have been there and I am

there.

People here suggested going hour by hour- that is so sensible.  In

such a state survival requires to get through the next moment- even

mechanically.

I have two practical suggestions-

  I suggested Bach Flower Remedies previously and now hearing

your state I really urge you to take them. You have nothing to lose but can

gain considerably. They have helped me very much. They sooth and help transform

negative states to positive without removing whatever is needed for

development. In my case I find myself beginning to transform pain into an even deeper

love for my departed wife and transforming it to a more spiritual level. I

deeply feel the loss of not  having her here, not having a physical being with

me with whom to express that love and am teaching myself to find other avenues

to express that love. You are in the UK and there are many Bach practitioners

there-I really strongly suggest you try this. A treatment bottle containing Rescue

Remedy ,Walnut and white chestnut is a good combination for the beginning until

you get to a practitioner.

The second thing I really recommend is to write. I have been

doing so since the day after my wife died . I have reams of mental ramblings on

MSWord docs. It helps me incredibly to assimilate this state and is a release

of thoughts , emotions and feelings. Just write whatever comes out- even a pack

of nonsense at the beginning.

Really wishing you to keep at least one nostril above the water-

you can make it. In my tradition it is a known that no trail and travail is

given to a person that he cannot overcome. A person might not be aware of

having the strength to get over  her suffering and grief, he might have to go

deep into the mire, but the strength is there. Deep down you have it. Just by

the mere fact of you writing to this group shows the beginning of that strengths

expression. Inside you there is an unconscious part of you that wants to

survive, succeed and overcome.

With much empathetic feeling,

Jeremy

 

 

 

 

 

 

oleander soup oleander soup On Behalf

Of TonyI

Sunday, January 03, 2010 4:03 AM

oleander soup

Re: Thanks for being such a wonderful group

 

 

 

 

 

 

Marie -

I understand - the

loss is too recent and too raw right now. But life does go on and it must

go on. You have lost the physical Malcolm but have not lost his

love. True love never dies. And you have to know that Malcolm

would tell you that he wants you to go on and live and enjoy life.

Peace will come,

Marie. You just have to take it one day at a time. It may come

slowly perhaps and yes it will be painful, but the pain will subsie and if

you keep and cherish Malcolm in your heart, the pain will lesson and his

memory will replace much of the pain you are now feeling. He will

always be with you.

I am sorry that my

meager words cannot do more to comfort and help you, but I do hope that you

keep all of the wonderful words and love that has come from our family here in

your heart too and in time as the numbness lessons they may still help you

find more meaning and comfort than you do now.

And please remember

that we are all here for you and always will be.

All the very best,

 

oleander soup , " infomcf " <infomcf

wrote:

>

> Hi Tony,

>

> Im sorry to say that nothing is helping me at the moment.

>

> I just don't want to live without Malcolm. How can anyone live a life

without love? I just dont want to do it.

>

> Marie

>

[Guest guest]

These are very good suggestions and yes I encourage you to do this Marie!

We love you,

Donna ACS

 

>

>

> Marie,

>

> I really understand your pain. I have been there and I am there.

>

> People here suggested going hour by hour- that is so sensible. In

> such a state survival requires to get through the next moment- even

> mechanically.

>

> I have two practical suggestions-

>

> I suggested Bach Flower Remedies previously and now hearing your

> state I really urge you to take them. You have nothing to lose but can

> gain considerably. They have helped me very much. They sooth and help

> transform negative states to positive without removing whatever is

> needed for development. In my case I find myself beginning to

> transform pain into an even deeper love for my departed wife and

> transforming it to a more spiritual level. I deeply feel the loss of

> not having her here, not having a physical being with me with whom to

> express that love and am teaching myself to find other avenues to

> express that love. You are in the UK and there are many Bach

> practitioners there-I really strongly suggest you try this. A

> treatment bottle containing Rescue Remedy ,Walnut and white chestnut

> is a good combination for the beginning until you get to a practitioner.

>

> The second thing I really recommend is to write. I have been doing so

> since the day after my wife died . I have reams of mental ramblings on

> MSWord docs. It helps me incredibly to assimilate this state and is a

> release of thoughts , emotions and feelings. Just write whatever comes

> out- even a pack of nonsense at the beginning.

>

> Really wishing you to keep at least one nostril above the water- you

> can make it. In my tradition it is a known that no trail and travail

> is given to a person that he cannot overcome. A person might not be

> aware of having the strength to get over her suffering and grief, he

> might have to go deep into the mire, but the strength is there. Deep

> down you have it. Just by the mere fact of you writing to this group

> shows the beginning of that strengths expression. Inside you there is

> an unconscious part of you that wants to survive, succeed and overcome.

>

> With much empathetic feeling,

>

> Jeremy

>

** oleander soup

> oleander soup *On Behalf Of *TonyI

> *Sent:* Sunday, January 03, 2010 4:03 AM

> *To:* oleander soup

> *Subject:* Re: Thanks for being such a wonderful group

>

>

>

>

>

> Marie -

>

> I understand - the loss is too recent and too raw right now. But life

> does go on and it must go on. You have lost the physical Malcolm but

> have not lost his love. True love never dies. And you have to know

> that Malcolm would tell you that he wants you to go on and live and

> enjoy life.

>

> Peace will come, Marie. You just have to take it one day at a

> time. It may come slowly perhaps and yes it will be painful, but the

> pain will subsie and if you keep and cherish Malcolm in your heart,

> the pain will lesson and his memory will replace much of the pain you

> are now feeling. He will always be with you.

>

> I am sorry that my meager words cannot do more to comfort and help

> you, but I do hope that you keep all of the wonderful words and love

> that has come from our family here in your heart too and in time as

> the numbness lessons they may still help you find more meaning and

> comfort than you do now.

>

> And please remember that we are all here for you and always will be.

>

> All the very best,

>

> >

>

> oleander soup , " infomcf " <infomcf wrote:

> >

> > Hi Tony,

> >

> > Im sorry to say that nothing is helping me at the moment.

> >

> > I just don't want to live without Malcolm. How can anyone live a

> life without love? I just dont want to do it.

> >

> > Marie

> >

>

>