my mom died...

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

figured i should give a final update..

 

My mom who had pancreatic cancer died yesterday.

Im completely crushed and this is just beginning.

Im in for a storm like i never knew even existed.

 

My mom was all i had.

 

Im not saying this for any other reason that i needed

to let it out and share how i felt.

 

Hope you guys get to live a long happy life.

The only thing i had was taken from me, and

i dont see how i ll get people in my life(had/have social

anxiety and im all alone, mom was all i had)

and how i ll ever feel ok again.

 

you guys follow the protocol to the letter,

its so worth it, for you, and your loved ones.

 

The silence is unbearable, and it only has been

just a bit over 12 hours since she passed away..

 

Salute

 

Olivier

[Guest guest]

Oh Olivier,I am so very sorry. Please accept my deepest and most heartfelt condolensces. I know the grief. I went through it when my own mother died and I still miss her terribly. It gets better though, although you will always feel her in your heart. Death in no way breaks the bonds of love.With regard to your anxiety. I am familiar with how you feel. And I will tell you that there is healing. You do not have to be alone. If I can help you in any way with anxiety and/or grief, please feel free to email me privately. Please know that I am here for you. In fact, I know that I can say that we are all here for you. You are in no way alone.During this time, you will most definitely be in my prayers. With warm hugs,oleander soup , "ftfft" <micfo07 wrote:>> Hi all,> figured i should give a final update..> > My mom who had pancreatic cancer died yesterday.> Im completely crushed and this is just beginning.> Im in for a storm like i never knew even existed.> > My mom was all i had.> > Im not saying this for any other reason that i needed> to let it out and share how i felt.> > Hope you guys get to live a long happy life.> The only thing i had was taken from me, and> i dont see how i ll get people in my life(had/have social> anxiety and im all alone, mom was all i had)> and how i ll ever feel ok again.> > you guys follow the protocol to the letter,> its so worth it, for you, and your loved ones.> > The silence is unbearable, and it only has been> just a bit over 12 hours since she passed away..> > Salute> > Olivier>

[Guest guest]

Sorry to hear of your loss. Don't give up friend, Her soul lives on... see her in all things beautiful - like a sunny day, a summer breeze, a snowflake, and the smile of a child.

 

Loss is so difficult - but I guess we will all eventually transition to "whats next". Meanwhile, take one day at a time.

 

Sincerely,

 

JAck

 

--- On Tue, 11/24/09, ftfft <micfo07 wrote:

ftfft <micfo07 my mom died...oleander soup Date: Tuesday, November 24, 2009, 5:42 PM

Hi all,figured i should give a final update..My mom who had pancreatic cancer died yesterday.Im completely crushed and this is just beginning.Im in for a storm like i never knew even existed.My mom was all i had.Im not saying this for any other reason that i neededto let it out and share how i felt.Hope you guys get to live a long happy life.The only thing i had was taken from me, andi dont see how i ll get people in my life(had/have socialanxiety and im all alone, mom was all i had)and how i ll ever feel ok again.you guys follow the protocol to the letter,its so worth it, for you, and your loved ones.The silence is unbearable, and it only has beenjust a bit over 12 hours since she passed away..SaluteOlivier

[Guest guest]

My condolences to you my friend :(On Tue, Nov 24, 2009 at 12:42 PM, ftfft <micfo07 wrote:

 

 

 

 

 

Hi all,

figured i should give a final update..

 

My mom who had pancreatic cancer died yesterday.

Im completely crushed and this is just beginning.

Im in for a storm like i never knew even existed.

 

My mom was all i had.

 

Im not saying this for any other reason that i needed

to let it out and share how i felt.

 

Hope you guys get to live a long happy life.

The only thing i had was taken from me, and

i dont see how i ll get people in my life(had/have social

anxiety and im all alone, mom was all i had)

and how i ll ever feel ok again.

 

you guys follow the protocol to the letter,

its so worth it, for you, and your loved ones.

 

The silence is unbearable, and it only has been

just a bit over 12 hours since she passed away..

 

Salute

 

Olivier

[Guest guest]

Oliver,

 

I am so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are for you. I know it must be a terribly lonely

time for you. You did all you could.

 

Barbara N Germany--- On Tue, 11/24/09, N S <overloaded wrote:

N S <overloadedRe: my mom died...oleander soup Date: Tuesday, November 24, 2009, 12:53 PM

 

My condolences to you my friend

On Tue, Nov 24, 2009 at 12:42 PM, ftfft <micfo07 wrote:

 

 

 

Hi all,figured i should give a final update..My mom who had pancreatic cancer died yesterday.Im completely crushed and this is just beginning.Im in for a storm like i never knew even existed.My mom was all i had.Im not saying this for any other reason that i neededto let it out and share how i felt.Hope you guys get to live a long happy life.The only thing i had was taken from me, andi dont see how i ll get people in my life(had/have socialanxiety and im all alone, mom was all i had)and how i ll ever feel ok again.you guys follow the protocol to the letter,its so worth it, for you, and your loved ones.The silence is unbearable, and it only has beenjust a bit over 12 hours since she passed away..SaluteOlivier

[Guest guest]

OlivierI'm so sad for you.  You were obviously dedicated to her.  Please accept my sincere condolences.Kind regards,Janet2009/11/24 barbara elenniss <bntelenniss

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oliver,

 

I am so very sorry.  My thoughts and prayers are for you. I know it must be a terribly lonely

time for you. You did all you could.

 

Barbara N Germany--- On Tue, 11/24/09, N S <overloaded wrote:

N S <overloadedRe: my mom died...oleander soup

Tuesday, November 24, 2009, 12:53 PM

 

My condolences to you my friend

On Tue, Nov 24, 2009 at 12:42 PM, ftfft <micfo07 wrote:

 

 

 

 

Hi all,figured i should give a final update..My mom who had pancreatic cancer died yesterday.Im completely crushed and this is just beginning.Im in for a storm like i never knew even existed.

My mom was all i had.Im not saying this for any other reason that i neededto let it out and share how i felt.Hope you guys get to live a long happy life.The only thing i had was taken from me, and

i dont see how i ll get people in my life(had/have socialanxiety and im all alone, mom was all i had)and how i ll ever feel ok again.you guys follow the protocol to the letter,its so worth it, for you, and your loved ones.

The silence is unbearable, and it only has beenjust a bit over 12 hours since she passed away..SaluteOlivier

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-- " The need for peace and understanding between the peoples of the world has never been as great as now.  Peace can only come with understanding, and travel is an important means of acquiring it. "

--Vincenzo MarcolongoI.A.M.A.T.

[Guest guest]

Hi JAck,

thanks for your words and caring.

Short reply that actually has lots of helpful things in.

Altough the pain remains, it does help

 

Oli

 

oleander soup , Jack King <speakernut wrote:

>

> Sorry to hear of your loss.  Don't give up friend, Her soul lives on... see

her in all things beautiful - like a sunny day, a summer breeze, a snowflake,

and the smile of a child.

>  

> Loss is so difficult - but I guess we will all eventually transition to " whats

next " .  Meanwhile, take one day at a time.

>  

> Sincerely,

>  

> JAck

>  

>

>

> --- On Tue, 11/24/09, ftfft <micfo07 wrote:

>

>

> ftfft <micfo07

> my mom died...

> oleander soup

> Tuesday, November 24, 2009, 5:42 PM

>

>

>  

>

>

>

> Hi all,

> figured i should give a final update..

>

> My mom who had pancreatic cancer died yesterday.

> Im completely crushed and this is just beginning.

> Im in for a storm like i never knew even existed.

>

> My mom was all i had.

>

> Im not saying this for any other reason that i needed

> to let it out and share how i felt.

>

> Hope you guys get to live a long happy life.

> The only thing i had was taken from me, and

> i dont see how i ll get people in my life(had/have social

> anxiety and im all alone, mom was all i had)

> and how i ll ever feel ok again.

>

> you guys follow the protocol to the letter,

> its so worth it, for you, and your loved ones.

>

> The silence is unbearable, and it only has been

> just a bit over 12 hours since she passed away..

>

> Salute

>

> Olivier

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks to all of your for your support and backing.

Being all alone make this so important.

 

I did most of what i did with my mother, every day.

So as you can imagine im completely lost, and everything

seems to be missing.

 

Thanks also for your kind words and possible help.

I find the idea that youre still terribly missing your mother

to be scary, but not surprising.

 

I feel like i will probably miss her more and more as time goes

by and its been longer since i last saw and talked to her.

 

I wish grieving was as easy as reaching to great people like

you and receiving help and poof, grieve goes down a lot and quickly.

But the reality is its an internal experience that cannot

be miraculously healed from the outside. But still its very

important to have people like you guys, around.

 

Man, its only been 16 hours, and i know it still hasnt sunked in

no where near to the degree it will, by which time

i ll be a total mess.

 

thanks guys

 

why my mom... my worst enemy couldnt have done anything worst than do this to

me..

 

one day at a time... i ll try to take a break from focussing on this

for a few minutes

 

thanks again you bunch of good people

Olivier

 

oleander soup , " M " <luellamay129 wrote:

>

> Oh Olivier,

>

> I am so very sorry. Please accept my deepest and most heartfelt

> condolensces. I know the grief. I went through it when my own mother

> died and I still miss her terribly. It gets better though, although you

> will always feel her in your heart. Death in no way breaks the bonds of

> love.

>

> With regard to your anxiety. I am familiar with how you feel. And I

> will tell you that there is healing. You do not have to be alone. If I

> can help you in any way with anxiety and/or grief, please feel free to

> email me privately. Please know that I am here for you. In fact, I

> know that I can say that we are all here for you. You are in no way

> alone.

>

> During this time, you will most definitely be in my prayers.

>

> With warm hugs,

>

>

> oleander soup , " ftfft " <micfo07@> wrote:

> >

> > Hi all,

> > figured i should give a final update..

> >

> > My mom who had pancreatic cancer died yesterday.

> > Im completely crushed and this is just beginning.

> > Im in for a storm like i never knew even existed.

> >

> > My mom was all i had.

> >

> > Im not saying this for any other reason that i needed

> > to let it out and share how i felt.

> >

> > Hope you guys get to live a long happy life.

> > The only thing i had was taken from me, and

> > i dont see how i ll get people in my life(had/have social

> > anxiety and im all alone, mom was all i had)

> > and how i ll ever feel ok again.

> >

> > you guys follow the protocol to the letter,

> > its so worth it, for you, and your loved ones.

> >

> > The silence is unbearable, and it only has been

> > just a bit over 12 hours since she passed away..

> >

> > Salute

> >

> > Olivier

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I am sorry for your loss of your dear mother. You must go on as I am sure she would have wanted you to.

 

Remember that we will see our loved ones again. You are precious and life is precious, get yourself involved with others that need your help as you mom needed.

 

It is such a pleasure to help other in need. Through my mom's ordeal with IBC, we now go and pray for the chemo patients at the cancer treatment center where we live.

 

Get involved and you will be more at peace within yourself, so many people to help out there. Some of us have been blessed to have found all this good information on cancer, and some have found it too late.

 

God bless, and may you learn that the joy of the Lord can and will be your strength if you choose it to be.

 

adios for now '\0 GBU

 

 

 

 

 

Olivier,

 

My condolences to you. I shall pray for you to be strong so that you may adjust to life without your Mom. I know how it feels to lose a beloved Mother. It took me a while to get over my Mom's death (from pancreatic cancer too) -- with so much sorrow and pain, but rest assured, time will heal.

 

Take care.

 

Melly

 

oleander soup , " ftfft " <micfo07 wrote:

>

> Hi all,

> figured i should give a final update..

>

> My mom who had pancreatic cancer died yesterday.

> Im completely crushed and this is just beginning.

> Im in for a storm like i never knew even existed.

>

> My mom was all i had.

>

> Im not saying this for any other reason that i needed

> to let it out and share how i felt.

>

> Hope you guys get to live a long happy life.

> The only thing i had was taken from me, and

> i dont see how i ll get people in my life(had/have social

> anxiety and im all alone, mom was all i had)

> and how i ll ever feel ok again.

>

> you guys follow the protocol to the letter,

> its so worth it, for you, and your loved ones.

>

> The silence is unbearable, and it only has been

> just a bit over 12 hours since she passed away..

>

> Salute

>

> Olivier

>

[Guest guest]

I grieve with you, Olivier.

 

Samala,

Renee

 

[Guest guest]



Olivier,

 

Please know that all of us share your pain and grief, and that your mother is now in heaven. That being said, I'm sure she would want you to succeed in your life and would hope that you are able to enjoy and relate to the company of others. Many out there love you, never forget it.

 

Bob

 

-

efi noname

oleander soup

Tuesday, November 24, 2009 12:06 PM

Re: my mom died...

 

 

 

 

Olivier,I am so sorry for your mom...Stay with us and pls keep sharing your thoughts. We all are a caring family and certainly we can help you.Here in Greece we have an expression: " your mother is now sleeping in the hug of angels" .Efi

 

 

 

 

 

 

On Tue, Nov 24, 2009 at 12:42 PM, ftfft <micfo07 (AT) hotmail (DOT) com> wrote:

 

 

 

Hi all,figured i should give a final update..My mom who had pancreatic cancer died yesterday.Im completely crushed and this is just beginning.Im in for a storm like i never knew even existed.My mom was all i had.Im not saying this for any other reason that i neededto let it out and share how i felt.Hope you guys get to live a long happy life.The only thing i had was taken from me, andi dont see how i ll get people in my life(had/have socialanxiety and im all alone, mom was all i had)and how i ll ever feel ok again.you guys follow the protocol to the letter,its so worth it, for you, and your loved ones.The silence is unbearable, and it only has beenjust a bit over 12 hours since she passed away..SaluteOlivier

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Olivier,Grief is not an easy thing. And it is normal. When we lose someone we truly love, the loss seems impossible to bear. Unfortunately, it is a process that we must go through. Nobody, even with all the help in the world, can make the hurt go away.Please know that your mom is truly in a "better place." Those words are not merely a euphemism. It is the truth. And please know that she still loves you from where she is and wants you to be happy. Yes, I still miss my mom. I cared for her also. I still feel longing for her and I always will. But you know, sometimes I feel her, as if she is looking out for my welfare. Still. And this may sound so very silly, but during those times I look up and whisper the words....... "I love you mom." Don't be surprised if she sends you some type of a sign as to her love for you. A few days after her death, I was still in deep grief sobbing uncontrollably, and I asked out loud for a sign that she was okay and that she was happy, and later that day the strangest thing happened. I received an email, those emails that you always get, but it was sent directly to me by a distant email acquaintance that had no idea of what I was going through. It was a poem entitled "Waiting for you." And drat, with computers crashing and so forth, I lost the poem and have searched far and wide but have never been able to find it. But the gist of the poem was............ "I'm happy and well now playing with the angels. But through my joy, I still miss you. I've talked to the angels and told them about you and they reassure me, Don't worry, she will join you soon and once again you will be together, joyfully sharing eternal life . So please don't worry about me, I'm okay and until then....... I'm playing with the angels while waiting for you." That was what the poem said and I will never forget it, it was so very strange. Coincidence? I took it as a sign. And it made me feel so much better. It gave me peace. And somehow I have got to find that poem, as it is so very important to me.It's okay to cry Olivier. God gave us tears. Please know that we are here for you. We are your friends........... Forever.Many hugs,oleander soup , "ftfft" <micfo07 wrote:>> Thanks to all of your for your support and backing.> Being all alone make this so important.> > I did most of what i did with my mother, every day.> So as you can imagine im completely lost, and everything> seems to be missing.> > Thanks also for your kind words and possible help.> I find the idea that youre still terribly missing your mother> to be scary, but not surprising.> > I feel like i will probably miss her more and more as time goes> by and its been longer since i last saw and talked to her.> > I wish grieving was as easy as reaching to great people like> you and receiving help and poof, grieve goes down a lot and quickly.> But the reality is its an internal experience that cannot> be miraculously healed from the outside. But still its very> important to have people like you guys, around.> > Man, its only been 16 hours, and i know it still hasnt sunked in> no where near to the degree it will, by which time> i ll be a total mess.> > thanks guys> > why my mom... my worst enemy couldnt have done anything worst than do this to me..> > one day at a time... i ll try to take a break from focussing on this> for a few minutes> > thanks again you bunch of good people> Olivier

[Guest guest]

Olivier, i'm so very sorry for your loss and everything you feel is ok and natural, you where a pilar of strength to your mum and did all that you could to help her through her battle, allow that to give you comfort dear friend, as if not all of us, some of us know how you feel .

 

Please ecxept my heart felt condolences and a big hug.

Love Mary

 

 

 

-

ftfft

oleander soup

Wednesday, November 25, 2009 4:42 AM

my mom died...

Hi all,figured i should give a final update..My mom who had pancreatic cancer died yesterday.Im completely crushed and this is just beginning.Im in for a storm like i never knew even existed.My mom was all i had.Im not saying this for any other reason that i neededto let it out and share how i felt.Hope you guys get to live a long happy life.The only thing i had was taken from me, andi dont see how i ll get people in my life(had/have socialanxiety and im all alone, mom was all i had)and how i ll ever feel ok again.you guys follow the protocol to the letter,its so worth it, for you, and your loved ones.The silence is unbearable, and it only has beenjust a bit over 12 hours since she passed away..SaluteOlivier

[Guest guest]

Oh Oliver I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I know how devastating this must be for you and how lost you probably feel right now....my mother just passed away on Oct 6th. It is so hard to console another person even when we have been through it ourselves...we all experience things a little differently. When someone we love passes, .it is hard to see any brightness in the day....but it is there and it is there for you! You are going to be fine. But it is going to take some time. You are probably right now in a bit of shock...feeling fear and perhaps even a bit of anger...But remember grieving is a process. I hope that you will find the time to be quiet...go within...meditate and l allow yourself to be thankful for your time and your beautiful relationship with her...and know that you are OK. Love yourself and give yourself a lot of credit...you deserve it. I know for that first week after my mother's death I was in shock and did everything in a perfunctory manner planned the services, did everything perfectly and all that, etc but could not remember half of what actually happened because I was so upset even though it did not appear that way to other. I was just glad to get back home where I could reflect and relax and be alone to nurture and heal myself, so that I could begin to look at things from a different perspective. You may find this happening to you as well.

 

When you feel ready you may want to check out the hospice in your area and go through their grief counseling....I went years ago when I was suffering in much the same way you are (anxiousness)...that was one of the reasons I was drawn to the self help coaching/consulting career.

 

My house is very lonely too...I almost sometimes forget that my mother is gone and go into her room to check or turn a light on, etc. For the first week or so it scared me that I was doing that...but old habits are hard to break...and it was because I had been so attentive....and loving to my mother.. I just this past week turned that room in to a lovely sitting room, with bright cheery furniture and many pleasant memories of my mother, I now turn the music on and open the windows, etc. I am moving forward with my life as my mother would wish me to do. I have had to fight myself to go out as I just naturally like to enjoy my home...but it is important to get out and make friends and do things with others.

 

You know Oliver, we all have own personal views about dealth...I feel certain that our loved ones have gone to a place that is more beautiful than we could even imagine. While there are so many of everything else in the world...we only have one mother and we can still feel comfort from all the love we have shared because love is ever lasting....and if we have amends we can do that too by just speaking our heart. Our departed ones are only a thought away. Just remember things will get better as you move forward. I am there for you as well as the rest of our group and I think that you should not hesitate to reach out to us. God Bless you!

 

bobbi henderson

 

 

 

 

-- Original Message -----

 

ftfft

oleander soup

Tuesday, November 24, 2009 12:42 PM

my mom died...

Hi all,figured i should give a final update..My mom who had pancreatic cancer died yesterday.Im completely crushed and this is just beginning.Im in for a storm like i never knew even existed.My mom was all i had.Im not saying this for any other reason that i neededto let it out and share how i felt.Hope you guys get to live a long happy life.The only thing i had was taken from me, andi dont see how i ll get people in my life(had/have socialanxiety and im all alone, mom was all i had)and how i ll ever feel ok again.you guys follow the protocol to the letter,its so worth it, for you, and your loved ones.The silence is unbearable, and it only has beenjust a bit over 12 hours since she passed away..SaluteOlivier

 

 

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.5.425 / Virus Database: 270.14.80/2523 - Release 11/24/09 07:46:00

[Guest guest]

Hi Oliver,I am so very saddened to hear of your unbearable loss.I am a very firm believer that the soul never dies. I personally believe your Mother is alive and well, but she is just no longer in physical form and that she is still around you.I had someone very close to me with leukemia cross over because the hospital killed him with horrible chemo and drugs. Some times I talk aloud to loved ones who have crossed over because I KNOW they are still aware of me and can hear me and still love me.Each time someone I love returns home or back to heaven if you will, it brings me comfort to know they are no longer suffering in any way and that when my time comes to leave this life that that's another loving familiar soul waiting to greet me with a big warm hug. There is

absolutely no doubt in my mind that we will be reunited with our loved ones and that it is not a question of if we will, but a question of WHEN we will see them again.Unfortunately, those of us left behind suffer a great deal of pain in the meantime. In my humble opinion I feel you would greatly benefit by finding a new friend in your life or adopting a dog or cat or bird or any pet you can love and that will love you back. A good friend to take care of and to share love with be it a human or an animal is so healing. Again, I honestly believe your Mother is perfectly fine right now and that you will see her again in a short time. I truly wish you all the love and healing in this world. I'm sending you a huge bone crushing bear hug in my mind right now! Dave

[Guest guest]

Olivier,

 

My condolences to you. I shall pray for you to be strong so that you may adjust

to life without your Mom. I know how it feels to lose a beloved Mother. It

took me a while to get over my Mom's death (from pancreatic cancer too) -- with

so much sorrow and pain, but rest assured, time will heal.

 

Take care.

 

Melly

 

 

 

oleander soup , " ftfft " <micfo07 wrote:

>

> Hi all,

> figured i should give a final update..

>

> My mom who had pancreatic cancer died yesterday.

> Im completely crushed and this is just beginning.

> Im in for a storm like i never knew even existed.

>

> My mom was all i had.

>

> Im not saying this for any other reason that i needed

> to let it out and share how i felt.

>

> Hope you guys get to live a long happy life.

> The only thing i had was taken from me, and

> i dont see how i ll get people in my life(had/have social

> anxiety and im all alone, mom was all i had)

> and how i ll ever feel ok again.

>

> you guys follow the protocol to the letter,

> its so worth it, for you, and your loved ones.

>

> The silence is unbearable, and it only has been

> just a bit over 12 hours since she passed away..

>

> Salute

>

> Olivier

>