question on signs of improvement in TCM treatments

[Guest guest]

I'd like to ask a question regarding TCM when used for emotional

problems like depression, sadness, anxiety, and hopelessness.

I've

been in treatment for eight months, and wrote in a while back asking

if you thought it was time for me to change doctors, as I hadn't

experienced improvement after six months. My diagnosis was spleen

and kidney qi deficiency with phlegm.

 

Right after Christmas, a substitute doctor I saw once didn't even

want to renew the powdered herb formula I was on, as after examining

me, she didn't feel it was strong enough. When my regular doctor

came back he changed the formula, and tells me it now includes

three " heavily sedating herbs, " as well as something for

" energy, "

(although you can't prove either by me) and something for phlegm.

 

 

I'm feeling as bad as ever, but he's saying he sees

" subtle

improvement, " and tells me how " terrible " I looked when I

first

started treatment, and what " a mouse " I was when I first

walked in,

and am now, apparently looking less mouse-like to his eye. I think

I was just feeling uncomfortable and nervous in a very strange

environment, which obviously isn't so strange after eight months.

 

He also said he can tell by my eyes and skin (which he says has

" a

sheen " ) that I have more qi. None of this matters much to me as

I

still feel terrible.

 

I have stressed over and over (with tears pouring down my face) that

I am there for emotional help with depression, fears, and

hopelessness, and I have been trusting that he is giving me

appropriate treatments for those symptoms. Even if there are

external improvements, (and I'm not convinced of it) I'm

heartbroken

to think they may not even have been giving me the right treatment

for my specific complaints. I've also been taking calcium for my

bones, and my nails are certainly better, but that external sign has

no bearing on my emotional state, and I don't take calcium as a

way

to feel better psychologically. The external sign of my nails

getting stronger is irrelevant, and has no bearing on an improvement

in my emotional state, but externally there is a change.

 

Is this even a relevant comparison? I'm just wondering if

he's

grasping at straws, trying to convince me to stay in treatment even

though it hasn't helped, by pointing out external, (and my mind

irrelevant) " signs, " stressing that they are so

" subtle " I may not

even notice them myself. After eight months of herbs taken three

times a day, accompanied by acupuncture treatments at first weekly,

now every other week, I would expect more than " subtle "

external

signs, that are supposed to be encouraging, when my emotional

suffering remains unchanged.

 

So that's my question. Are those signs irrelevant? Do external

signs turn up before there's any internal (read emotional)

improvement? For eight months of treatment, is a sheen in our skin,

and more qi in your eyes all that someone suffering emotionally can

realistically expect, or am I total idiot to have continued this

long? It seems more instinctive to expect internal changes to happen

first, finally working their way out, and manifesting in changes in

your appearance. Have you heard of physical changes occurring first,

followed later by the desired emotional improvement?

 

I'm very upset and disappointed in my treatment, and need to know

from experts when to throw in the towel with TCM, and when to hang

on for a little longer. I may be one of those people who can't

be

helped by TCM, and I'm not looking to blame anyone. I can't

trust

the doctors at the clinic (I've seen four over eight months), as

despite the high sounding talk in their brochure on " Taoist

ethics, "

they obviously are in a money making business, and make more money

the longer they encourage you to keep coming, and it's doubtful

they

would ever tell anyone the truth about when to say when, as long as

you continue to pay their bills. I'm sorry to sound so cynical,

but

I'm devastated, and any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thank you so much in advance,

Linda