Guest guest Posted July 31, 2007 Report Share Posted July 31, 2007 EPA Warns Human Beings No Longer Biodegradable Mon30 Jul 2007 06:37:54 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/epa_warns_human_beings_no EPA Warns Human Beings No Longer Biodegradable July 26, 2007 | Issue < http://www.theonion.com/content/index/4330> 43.30 WASHINGTON, DC-The Environmental Protection Agency issued a bulletin Tuesday warning the bodies of American citizens, with their large concentrations of artificial, synthetic, and often toxic substances, have been reclassified as industrial waste. "The average human body is now only 35 percent organic," EPA chief Ralph Johnson said. "Due to changes brought about by modern detergents, silicone implants, and processed cheese food product, it is no longer safe to allow human tissue to come into contact with our nation's topsoil." Johnson said the EPA is seeking funding to construct a massive, federally managed human-body containment facility in the Mojave Desert to safely and viably store human remains. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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