The INSIDIOUS forecast

[Guest guest]

04/18/2006

 

Forget Iran,

Poland is Next in Line for US Invasion

 

By Nikolai Stephens

 

 

Iran might be on everyone's lips right now, but the

experts think Poland is more likely to receive the

full force of American military might in the near

future.

 

We always know trends are cyclical phenomena.

What was

cool in the eighties is often geeky in the nineties,

and nouveau cool again in the noughties. Even

political and military policy, it seems, is shaped by

cyclical trends.

The USA went to war with Iraq both in

the nineties and the noughties.

They fought Germany in

the teens and the forties. They got involved in an

indefinite quagmire in the sixties and noughties.

 

Clearly US military policy repeats itself.

 

Using political and military trends as a guide, a

conservative foreign policy institution in Washington

DC- Institute for New Studies into Demonstrative

Intervention against Overtly Unamerican States

(INSIDIOUS)- has forecast that

the next state to feel

the wrath and might of awesome American military power

is Poland.

 

“We know America has never attacked Poland before, at

least not militarily,” institute spokesperson Lance

Ashcroft announced in a press conference accompanying

the institute’s latest media release. “However, we

have been analysing more complex patterns in the

Geopolitical climate over the last century, and Poland

definitely is the next target for Bush and his

government.”

 

The Institute points to political similarities between

conservative voting trends in America in the noughties

and particular European nations in the thirties.

“There has been a clear shift in political values

toward the right in America, and that does have

parallels to other times and places,” Ashcroft said.

“Ultimately such a trend seems to lead in one

direction- invasion of Poland.”

 

However, Ashcroft was quick to point out that the

institute does not perceive any future invasion of

Poland by the USA as wrong or inherently militaristic.

“We don’t think the parallels go that far. Another

nation's invasion of Poland in 1939 was evil. America,

when they invade the same nation in the next few

years, will simply be doing it to ensure world peace

and stability.”

 

Last year, Brainsnap identified Poland as the new

rising world superpower, outstripping Russia and even

China militarily and economically. It seems that this

progress may ultimately lead to a clash with the

already existing superpower of the USA.

 

Already insiders in the White House and the Pentagon

say that the rhetoric toward war with Poland is

building in certain influential circles. “I have heard

a lot more jokes recently,” said one anonymous source.

“And they’re not always funny, but they do seem to

paint Poland in a negative light.”

 

Lance Ashcroft agrees. “The historical and political

trends are clearly pointing toward an attack on

Poland. The Poles are challenging US supremacy in the

world, and frankly, we’re all sick of the Middle East

anyway. No one wants another war there, not in Iran,

Palestine or Syria. That’s so 2003. Europe is the new

hot spot for invasions as far as we can see.”

 

Fashion experts also agree. New York designer, Lindon

Fabermeyer told Brainsnap, “Desert patterns are out

this Spring. Green is the new tan. Expect the new

camouflage uniforms on the catwalks to reflect a

policy shift from the Middle East back to Europe.”

 

http://www.brainsnap.com/international/forget_iran_poland_is_next_in_line_for_us\

_invasion

 

 

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