Saving the Earth with Ebola

April 3, 2006

Professor Pianka said the Earth as we know it will not survive without drastic

measures. Then, and without presenting any data to justify this number, he

asserted that the only feasible solution to saving the Earth is to reduce the

population to 10 percent of the present number.

He then showed solutions for reducing the world's population in the form of a

slide depicting the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. War and famine would not

do, he explained. Instead, disease offered the most efficient and fastest way to

kill the billions that must soon die if the population crisis is to be solved.

Pianka then displayed a slide showing rows of human skulls, one of which had red

lights flashing from its eye sockets.

AIDS is not an efficient killer, he explained, because it is too slow. His

favorite candidate for eliminating 90 percent of the world's population is

airborne Ebola ( Ebola Reston ), because it is both highly lethal and it kills

in days, instead of years. However, Professor Pianka did not mention that Ebola

victims die a slow and torturous death as the virus initiates a cascade of

biological calamities inside the victim that eventually liquefy the internal

organs.

After praising the Ebola virus for its efficiency at killing, Pianka paused,

leaned over the lectern, looked at us and carefully said, " We've got airborne 90

percent mortality in humans. Killing humans. Think about that. "

With his slide of human skulls towering on the screen behind him, Professor

Pianka was deadly serious. The audience that had been applauding some of his

statements now sat silent.

After a dramatic pause, Pianka returned to politics and environmentalism. But he

revisited his call for mass death when he reflected on the oil situation.

" And the fossil fuels are running out, " he said, " so I think we may have to cut

back to two billion, which would be about one-third as many people. " So the oil

crisis alone may require eliminating two-third's of the world's population.

How soon must the mass dying begin if Earth is to be saved? Apparently fairly

soon, for Pianka suggested he might be around when the killer disease goes to

work. He was born in 1939, and his lengthy obituary appears on his web site.

When Pianka finished his remarks, the audience applauded. It wasn't merely a

smattering of polite clapping that audiences diplomatically reserve for poor or

boring speakers. It was a loud, vigorous and enthusiastic applause.

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