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doctors want looser laws on organ transplants

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" NewsTarget Insider " <insider

NTN: Health Roundup, doctors want looser laws on organ

transplants

Fri, 24 Mar 2006 09:37:05 -0700

 

 

 

 

NewsTarget Network Insider Alert (www.NewsTarget.com)

HEALTH SATIRE / HUMOR category

------------------------------

(Please forward to others who may benefit)

Un instructions at bottom

 

It's been a strange couple of weeks in the medical world with two U.S.

doctors promoting the idea that it should be legal for people to sell

their own kidneys, and doctors in Canada calling for " presumed

consent " laws for organ donation. Find my satirical commentary about

these and other medical oddities in today's NewsTarget feature article.

 

full story at http://www.newstarget.com/019328.html

 

Further demonstrating that U.S. doctors are, indeed, mad, two doctors

are now publicly promoting the idea that it should be legal for people

to sell their own kidneys (and other organs) to patients needing

transplants. Such a move would, of course, transform the poorest

members of society into easily exploitable organ factories for the

rich, most of whom only need organ transplants because they abused

their own organs in the first place. (The demand for organ transplants

from actual trauma is very low compared to the demand from people who

have abused their own organs through poor diet, drug and alcohol

abuse, prescription medications and general stupidity.)

 

So why would doctors want the organ market to be legal? Because it

makes them money, of course, to extract organs from one person and

reconnect them in another. And that's not to mention all the

immune-modulating drugs, follow up visits and medical costs caused by

complications. Make no mistake: Organs transplants are big, big

business. It's not only about savings lives.

 

But hey, if we're going to legalize the selling of a person's own

organs, why stop there? Why not go China on the issue and legalize the

harvesting of organs from prisoners, too? And homeless people. Heck,

there must be millions of spare kidneys just waiting to be taken from

people who are too underprivileged to protest. Plus, it can all be

done in the name of compassion and medical science. " We're saving

lives! " surgeons can proudly proclaim as they pocket organ transplant

paychecks and wipe the blood off their hands.

 

Believe it or not, two days after I wrote what you just read above, a

clan of crazed medical do-gooders in Canada rose to the occasion and

are now proposing precisely what I was jokingly suggesting. Check this

out...

 

Ontario hospitals to " freely harvest organs " of dead patients --

without their consent

If a new bill becomes law in the province of Ontario, hospitals there

will have the full legal right to harvest organs from dead patients

even without their consent! In other words, if you don't scream, " No

harvesting! " right before you die in an Ontario emergency room, your

organs will quickly be removed and sold to transplant centers where

they are marked up and resold to desperate transplant patients at

enormous profits.

 

This gives rise to a great new medical product idea I have for

Canadians. It's a medical safety band you wear on your wrist. If

you're ever in an accident, paramedics will read that it says, " Take

me to TORONTO! " Even if the long ambulance drive kills you, at least

you'll rest in peace.

 

If you happen to be unconscious from a car crash, though, you'd better

hope your heart doesn't skip a beat, or the medical crazies in the

organ transplant industry might just lunge right in and start

harvesting even before you're actually dead. (It's harsh criticism,

yes, but when there are profits to be had, when has conventional

medicine ever put patients' lives first anyway?)

 

In China, they harvest organs from executed prisoners, but Canada

appears to be upping the ante on that human rights abuse by

potentially harvesting organs from EVERYONE.

 

Doctors and politicians, of course, will be exempt from the organ

harvesting policy, not because they deserve special treatment, but

only because they have no hearts to begin with.

 

That voodoo that you do for customs officials

Speaking of harvested organs (this is quite a macabre collection of

strange health news, isn't it?), a Hatian woman was recently arrested

by customs official at a Florida airport because she was carrying a

decomposed human head in her bag. It's all part of her religious

belief that the head helps " ward off evil spirits. "

 

Apparently, it doesn't ward off customs official or their

head-sniffing dogs. " We don't tolerate the carrying of dead body

parts, " stated a senior customs official dressed in a leather jacket

made from the skin of a dead cow.

 

The woman was charged with failing to declare the head (is it a crime

not to declare a head?) and, if sentenced, faces the stiff penalty of

a public beheading. If that unfolds, who will carry HER head?

 

Aside from the strangeness of it all, why is it illegal to carry a

head in a bag? Isn't this the exact kind of activity the organ

transplant industry engages in all the time? In recent revelations, in

fact, it has been discovered that organs used for transplants right

here in the USA have been ripped from the bodies of presumably

unwilling cadavers. Search for " Mastromarino body parts " on Google to

see for yourself.

 

 

That's different, you might say. Organs for transplants are carried on

ice in a medical cooler. Okay, so what if this Hatian woman had her

human head good luck charm buried in a picnic cooler under a ham

sandwich? Do you suppose it all would have been fine with customs, then?

 

Is there a law against carrying body parts around? Look, I'm not

condoning this practice, but there sure seems like a double standard

here. Don't some people carry a rabbit's foot for good luck? That's a

dead body part, too, and I don't see customs officials arresting

people for having rabbit's feet. How about travelers carrying hot

dogs? Hot dogs are made from cow parts that I guarantee you are every

bit as gross as a human head. Search Google for " Advanced Meat

Recovery machine " to see what I mean, if you dare.

 

And how about fur coats? Isn't fur a body part? Shouldn't people who

wear fur coats be arrested for WEARING body parts? At least the Hatian

woman wasn't actually wearing the human head. That would have been

really weird. Almost as weird as wearing the fur of another animal at

a time in the history of civilization when, clearly, we have mastered

the complex science of textiles.

 

So to all those people and customs officials who point the finger at

this Hatian woman for toting around a spare head, I ask you: What are

YOU wearing, carrying around, or actually eating that was once part of

a living, breathing mammal?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To your health,

- Mike Adams, the Health Ranger

 

================

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