Take Greg 's 'The Three B's Quiz'

[Guest guest]

Bush, Burns or Burns

 

An OC Weekly SAT test

 

By Greg Stacy

Thursday, January 26, 2006

 

How good are you at identifying your power-mad, sociopathic, repressed,

catchphrase-spawning, lipless Republican laugh riots? In the following

quiz, you’ll be presented with quotes from George W. Bush, M*A*S*H’s

Frank Burns and The Simpsons’ Montgomery Burns. (Hint: the cartoon is

the smart one.)

 

 

 

(1) Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a New Mexico?

 

 

(2) So, what state is Wales in?

 

 

(3) If you’re like me, you won’t remember everything you did here. That

can be a good thing.

 

 

(4) I don’t think you appreciate the true nature of our situation, um,

gravity-wise speaking.

 

 

(5) I want to thank you for taking time out of your day to witness my

hanging.

 

 

(6) The only ship worth a damn is friendship.

 

 

(7) You can fool some of the people all of the time, and those are the

ones you have to concentrate on.

 

 

(8) I think you will all agree that by trying to introduce more

discipline, more order, I have hopefully made this a more enjoyable war

for all of us.

 

 

(9) I want you to know the office is always bigger than the person.

 

 

(10) It is pointless to make the rich pay their fair share of taxes

because the really rich people figure out how to dodge taxes anyway.

 

 

(11) The future? We’ll all be dead!

 

 

(12) What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?

 

 

(13) I’ve always felt people volunteer better by force.

 

 

(14) Mankind has always dreamed of destroying the sun.

 

 

(15) For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three nonfatal

shootings . . . and folks, this is unacceptable in America!

 

 

(16) Some people have too much freedom.

 

 

(17) The watchdog of public safety . . . is there any lower form of life?

 

 

(18) I can only speak to myself.

 

 

(19) There are no friends in wartime.

 

 

(20) I am a pit bull on the pantleg of opportunity.

 

 

(21) We need an energy bill that encourages consumption!

 

 

(22) Intelligence is something I try to avoid.

 

 

(23) These are open forums—you’re able to come and listen to what I have

to say.

 

 

(24) If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it’s your

duty as an American to do it.

 

 

(25) See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and

over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the

propaganda.

 

 

(26) We will export death and violence to the four corners of the earth.

 

 

(27) The thought of commendation never entered my mind [regarding] this

terrible but human mistake made by a few of our own brutal but

well-meaning fighting men.

 

 

(28) In a changing world, we want more people to have control over your

own life.

 

 

(29) Oppression and harassment are a small price to pay to live in the

land of the free.

 

 

(30) I hope you leave here and walk out and say, “What did he say?”

 

 

 

Answers: (1) MB (2) GWB, in conversation with Welsh singer Charlotte Church

(3) GWB (4) FB (5) GWB, at the unveiling of his portrait

(6) MB (7) GWB (8) FB (9) GWB (10) GWB (11) GWB (12) MB (13) FB (14) MB

(15) GWB (16) GWB (17) MB (18) GWB (19) FB (20) GWB (21) GWB (22) FB

(23) GWB (24) MB (25) GWB (26) GWB (27) FB (28) GWB (29) MB (30) GWB

 

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