The War on Tewwowism (circa 1968)

[Guest guest]

Harry Farkas declares:

 

If I may indulge myself, all this recent din about the government wiretapping

Americans in the name of security had a familiar ring to it.

 

May I present The War on Tewwowism (circa 1968), courtesy of this

excerpt from the song " The Pause of Mr. Claus " by Arlo Guthrie:

 

During these hard days and hard weeks, everybody always has it bad

once in a while. You know, you have a bad time of it, and you always

have a friend who says " Hey man, you ain't got it that bad. Look at

that guy. " And you [look] at that guy, and he's got it worse than

you. And it makes you feel better that there's somebody that's got it

worse than you.

 

But think of the last guy. For one minute, think of the last guy.

Nobody's got it worse than that guy. Nobody in the whole world. That

guy...he's so alone in the world that he doesn't even have a street

to lay in for a truck to run him over. He's out there with nothin.'

Nothin's happenin' for that cat.

 

And all that he has to do to create a little excitement in his own

life is to bum a dime from somewhere, call up the FBI. Say " FBl? " ,

they say " Yes, " say " I think Uncle Ho and Chair- man Mao and their

friends are comin' over for dinner " (click) Hang up the phone.

 

And within two minutes, and not two minutes from when he hangs up

the phone, but two minutes from when he first put the dime in, they

got 30,000 feet of tape rollin'; files on tape; pictures, movies,

dramas, actions on tape. But then they send out a half a million

people all over the entire world, the globe, they find out all they

can about this guy.

 

Cause there's a number of questions involved in the guy. I mean, if

he was the last guy in the world, how'd he get a dime to call the

FBI? There are plenty of people that aren't the last guys that can't

get dimes. He comes along and he gets a dime.

 

I mean, if he had to bum a dime to call the FBI, how was he gonna

serve dinner for all of those people? How could the last guy make

dinner for all those people. And if he could make dinner, and was

gonna make dinner, then why did he call the FBI?

 

They find out all of those questions within two minutes. And that's

a great thing about America. I mean, this is the only country in the

world. l mean, well, it's not the only country in the world that

could find stuff out in two minutes, but it's the only country in the

world that would take two minutes for that guy.

 

Other countries would say " Hey, he's the last guy, screw him, " you

know?

 

But in America, there is no discrimination, and there is no

hypocrisy,'cause they'll get anybody.

 

And that's a wonderful thing about America.

 

From " The Pause of Mr. Claus " words and music by Arlo Guthrie http://

arlo.net/lyrics/pause-claus.shtml