Bush wins Literary Award

[Guest guest]

Bush wins 61st Annual Stalin Literary Award

 

by La Pluma

 

 

Stalin Literary Award 2005

In a non-televised awards ceremony during his recent trip to Mongolia,

U.S. President G.W. Bush was awarded the prestigious Stalin Literacy

Award by local citizens.

Chosen from more than 1,000 submitted applicants, the American

President was picked as " Most likely to write his own version of

history " , by an esteemed association of international lawyers, insurance

salesmen, drummers and towing company owners., otherwise known as the

Stalin Literary Group.

 

The organization formed during WWII when a group of Army projector

operators decided to record their own documentaries about the war. Since

they were all stationed in Alabama, they could only report events to fit

the local footage they had available.

 

The best remembered Stalin group footage from the era, is the dramatic

picture of the American flag being raised over the Piggly-Wiggly in Bovina.

Taken just after American troops defeated the German farmers near the

John Deere factory on Highway 2. It is still regarded as undisputable

evidence America defeated Germany in WWII by many citizens of Alabama

today.

 

The Stalinists have grown to international levels legitimacy through

their work with the WTO, the Republican Party and the Al-Qaeda.

This year marks theier 61st year, and the 61st year the sacred " Quill

through the Skull " statue has been presented. Former U.S. President Dick

Nixon, and personal friend of God, Pat Robertson, are the only other

Americans to win the lofty award.

 

The first non-North Korean to win the prize in the last three years, it

was President Bush's on-going fabrications about motivations for

entering the Iraq War that especially endeared him to the judges,

sources close to the judges revealed. His systematic abuse of the

Christian religion also apparently drew high marks.

 

Distant second place runner-up, Vlad Bolshitska, a one-time Stalin

Literary Lifetime Achievement winner ,for his career work with the

Pravda, was clearly emotional, though humble in his defeat. " How is

White-Out supposed to compete with PhotoSuite and CIA, " Vlad reportedly

exclaimed to one Mongol news reporter.

 

To end the event, President Bush graciously thanked the crowd, the

judges and his speech writers. He also half-jokingly vowed to

re-emphasize America's great victory over Vietnam this upcoming year, in

hopes of getting a foot in for next year's extravaganza. The ceremony

closed with the traditional kniving of the sacrificial Press Goat, and

the circular dance of Pass the Tugrik Unc.

 

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