How to give yourself cancer in five easy steps

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Fri, 2 Dec 2005 05:16:13 EST

How to give yourself cancer in five easy

steps

 

 

 

NewsTarget.com printable article

Originally published November 4 2004

 

How to give yourself cancer in five easy steps

Following with our ever-popular series on " How to Get Disease, " this

article discusses how to give yourself a raging case of cancer. It

could be breast cancer, colon cancer, prostate cancer or even

something like leukemia. By following the instructions in this

article, you can give yourself almost any form of cancer desirable and

if you pursue these strategies to their fullest potential, you could

end up with several different forms of cancer all at once. So, let's

get started and learn how to give yourself cancer.

 

If you're aiming for a raging case of cancer, the first thing you've

got to do is start consuming food ingredients that actually promote

cancer. One of the most powerful cancer-promoting food ingredients of

all is called sodium nitrate. This is an ingredient that is added to

virtually all packaged meat products including hot dogs, pepperoni,

ham, lunchmeat and other similar products. You'll also find it in

bacon, sausages and most breakfast meats. It's listed right on the

ingredients labels of all of these foods. In order to find sodium

nitrate, all you have to do is walk around the grocery store, read the

ingredients labels of various packaged meat products and purchase

those products that contain it. Then, consume them on a frequent basis

and before long, you will greatly increase your odds of being

diagnosed with cancer.

 

There are other ingredients that are suspected of causing cancer.

These include hydrogenated oils, aspartame, saccharin and artificial

colors, to name a few. A diet that is very high in refined

carbohydrates has also been clinically shown to increase your odds of

being diagnosed with cancer, so be sure to get plenty of these foods

in your pro-cancer diet. That means chowing down on white bread,

sweetened breakfast cereals, white fluffy pancakes, candy bars,

granola bars, cookies, crackers and sweets of all kinds.

 

The next thing you can do to give yourself cancer is one of the more

obvious things: take up a smoking habit. The more you smoke, the more

likely you are to get cancer, especially if you're eating

cancer-causing foods and ingredients as discussed above. By smoking,

you will multiply the carcinogenic effect of everything else in your

life. Before long, you will succeed in your goal at being diagnosed

with cancer.

 

If you'd like to move things along a little more quickly, you can also

stay out of all sunlight and use plenty of sun block and sunscreen any

time you go outside. This will prevent natural sunlight from touching

your skin. Now, how will this give you cancer? It turns out that

natural sunlight is powerful prevention for cancer. People who get

plenty of natural sunlight have a greatly reduced risk of being

diagnosed with prostate cancer, breast cancer and many other disorders

that aren't cancer-related such as osteoporosis and mental depression.

By staying out of the sun or using sun block and sunscreen every time

you're under the sun, you can prevent your body from preventing

cancer, thereby giving yourself a much greater risk for cancer with

each passing day. If you find it difficult to avoid the sun, just get

a night shift job where you work all night and sleep all day. That's a

hugely successful pro-cancer strategy.

 

Another thing you can do is avoid all physical exercise. It turns out

that moving your body helps you prevent cancer. Part of the reason is

that body movement moves lymph fluid around, and this is an important

function of your immune system that fights cancerous cells. If you

refrain from all body movement, you will hamper your body's ability to

fight off cancer, thereby further increasing your odds of being

diagnosed with this chronic disease.

 

One thing to keep in mind in all of this is that everybody has cancer

right now. In other words, there are cancerous cells in the human body

of every person who is living and breathing right now, at this very

moment. All you have to do to get diagnosed with cancer is make sure

your immune system is sufficiently suppressed so that your body can't

take care of the cancerous cells on a regular basis. In other words,

if you destroy your immune system function through poor nutrition,

nutrient depletion, smoking, lack of sunlight and lack of physical

exercise, then it won't be able to do its job of cleaning up cancerous

cells around the body and as a result, cancer will become a full-blown

disease in no time.

 

In fact, all of these strategies for giving yourself cancer have one

thing in common: the suppression of your natural immune system. Now,

if you've been following along and you don't have cancer yet from

doing everything mentioned here, and you want to increase your odds

even further, the very best thing you can do is actually get

chemotherapy or radiation therapy. All you have to do is go to an

oncologist and tell them that you think you have cancer, and they may

find some reason to put you on chemotherapy or radiation therapy.

These therapies do such an outstanding job of destroying the human

immune system that you might find yourself experiencing multiple cases

of cancer at various sites throughout your body in the subsequent

months and years. Chemotherapy is perhaps the most effective method

known to modern science for destroying the human immune system other

than working at Chernobyl during a nuclear accident. So, if you’re

looking to contract cancer as quickly as possible, make sure that you

get chemotherapy into your life as early as you can.

 

By combining all of these strategies, you should be able to give

yourself cancer without much effort on your part and without having to

wait too long. After all, it would be a shame to die from natural

causes and not have the opportunity to " invest " in the R & D efforts of

pharmaceutical companies who peddle anti-cancer drugs.

 

Are you crazy?

 

You might be asking me, " Why on earth am I writing an article that

tells people how to give themselves cancer? " The answer is because

virtually all Americans are following this plan right now, today. They

are giving themselves cancer step by step by using precisely the

detailed plan that I have outlined here. And when they are suddenly

diagnosed with cancer, they have a puzzled look on their faces and

ask, " Gee, why do I have cancer? " The answer is because they've been

following the cancer plan as outlined in this article -- all the foods

they've eaten, their lifestyle choices, lack of exercise, lack of

sunlight, smoking habits and reliance on chemotherapy and other

radical western medical procedures has, in fact, accelerated their

cancer and put them in the position they're in today.

 

All I've really done here in this article is described the plan most

Americans are already following. This is the pro-cancer plan that's

actually promoted by brand-name food manufacturers, pharmaceutical

companies, and most of conventional medicine. For example, how many

doctors are still screaming for people to avoid sunlight like it was

the plague? Practically all of them, last time I checked. It's almost

as if the entire medical community actually wanted the population to

get cancer. Sadly, the entire anti-cancer campaign of conventional

medicine seems to be limited to three words: " Don't smoke tobacco. "

 

Of course, most individuals aren't really interested in contracting

cancer. They'd rather prevent cancer or even reverse cancer, and now

after learning how to give yourself cancer, the process for avoiding

that is fairly straightforward: don't do any of the things that have

been mentioned in this article. That is, avoid smoking; get plenty of

sunlight; get outstanding nutrition and avoid all food ingredients

that are known to promote cancer such as sodium nitrite, hydrogenated

oils, refined carbohydrates and chemical additives. Also avoid

chemotherapy since it is the most powerful way we know of to destroy

the human immune system, thereby leaving you more vulnerable to cancer.

 

I present this information as a unique way to get the point across to

people that if they don't want to have cancer in their lifetimes, they

need to get off the cancer plan and get on to a plan that actually

prevents this terrible disease.

 

 

 

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