15 Reasons to Eat Meat

[Guest guest]

2005.09.27

15 Reasons to Eat Meat

 

by Mark Sutton

 

" 1. My parents fed me dead animals N years ago and they obviously knew

what was good for me, just like the plastic white bread, red dye, DDT,

and cigarettes.

 

 

2. McDonald's, Burger King, and Wendy's, have all done exhaustive

nutritional research on diet in their extensive efforts to produce the

most nutritious, healthy, and low fat food in the known space-time

continuum at the lowest price possible for people everywhere. They pay

well and only hire people who are so strong as to not need health

insurance paid by the company they work full-time for.

 

 

 

3. It's obvious that drinking the bodily fluids of female bovines that

are used to fatten up young calves is extremely healthy for adult human

beings of another species entirely.

 

4. The slaughter of 10 billion animals per year in the US alone for

food is okay, just like terrorism, as long as it isn't in my backyard.

 

5. All those studies of human diet for decades in China that clearly

show a vegetarian diet is the healthiest were obviously sponsored by

organizations that are only interested in telling us what to do, and

don't care about the freedom to enjoy that which can kill you if used

improperly, but it's my option and my right as an American to do what

feels, tastes, smells, is seen as, and is heard as gud. Real gud.

 

6. You mean you don't like ground up dead cows grilled and put on a

whole-wheat bun slathered with high fructose syrup tomato sauce, ground

up mustard seed sauce, onions, and sliced vinegared & garliced sugared

yellow-dyed cucumbers?

 

7. The millions of tons of livestock excrement and urine dumped into

our ecosystem will produce, through the laws of evolution, even stronger

plants, animals, and humans. Nature likes a challenge, and the

decreased clean water, lesser productive soil, and more unbreathable air

will just make all living things tougher through Natural Selection. No

problemo.

 

8. The FDA has a great track record for knowing what's good for us: at

least 50% of the drugs they approve don't have any unforeseen side

effects. (note: real stat)

 

9. Fermented/congealed cow and goat fluid discharges, rotting chunks of

pig, decaying slabs of cow, and often infected pieces of chicken anatomy

are so good for you, we need the USDA to spend millions of our tax

dollars every year promoting their consumption, and warn you that you

need to cook 'em at high temperatures to kill any bad microorganisms in

them that the USDA doesn't have the resources to check for, that

slaughterhouses don't check for, and that can kill you and currently

make hundreds of thousands of people sick every year. If vegetables

were so important we'd spend more than a million dollars a year

promoting them (note: that's a real stat).

 

10. Just look at the numbers of doctors and nutritionists, as well as

television commercials, advocating eating at least 4 to 5 servings of

meat every day. They couldn't do that if it weren't true and they

weren't paid enough.

 

11. Eating meat is like driving an SUV (substitute " smaller car " for

" plant-based food sources " ): it's more dangerous than plant-based food

sources, uses up more natural resources than plant-based food sources,

puts out more greenhouse gas pollution than plant-based food sources

(potentially endangering all life on this planet), promotes

environmental degradation, and is a symbol of my God-given freedom in

this greatest country in the world to do whatever I want to whatever I

want as long as I don't do the killing unless it's the right season in

the right place.

 

12. There was this guy in North Dakota who ate nothing but meat all his

life, smoked, and drank like a fish. With enough practice, we can do

the same. It's " no pain no gain. " Genetics, schmetics....

 

13. Bringing home a big chunk of cutup dead cow muscles, a bird's

cut-up chest flesh, or ground-up pig organs stuffed into intestinal

sacs, and cooking the hell outta them for my family, is one of the

greatest joys and freedoms in the world, and demostrates how much I love

my husband/wife and children, and want them to be healthy and live happy

productive disease-free long lives. God Bless Us All.

 

14. Ain't nuthin' like clarified bovine fluid fried dead chicken

embryos with pig fat fried stripped slices of pig flesh on the side, and

a steaming cup of coffee bean juice with female cow lactations and a

buncha refined sugar to getcha ready for a cold winter day at the

office. All part of balanced meal.

 

15. It tastes gud. Real gud. "

 

(just in case someone got this far and though otherwise, I've been a

vegetarian for 20 years... MSS) [as of 2005: 25 years vegetarian of

which near 4 years vegan}

 

http://www.soulveggie.com/