Bush! CronyJobs: The hottest government careers – for entitled plutocrats like y

[Guest guest]

http://www.cronyjobs.com/

 

Bush Crony Jobs

 

Bush! CronyJobs: The hottest government careers – for entitled

plutocrats like you!

 

PRESIDENTIAL PALS & BACKERS:

" Apply " now to secure a lucrative career both decrying and luxuriating

in the spoils of Big Government! No experience necessary! Don't miss

your chance to suckle greedily at America's soon-to-be-bankrupt

bureaucracy teat!

 

A Small Sampling of Our Satisfied Clientele:

 

NAME: Harriet Miers

POSITION: Associate Justice, US Supreme Court

SALARY: $202,900/year (pending)

TESTIMONIAL: " Not only did CronyJobs set me up with a faboo White

House staff position, now I'm getting a life-long appointment to try

out this 'Judge' stuff. I can hardly wait to meet that sexpot Ruth

Bader Ginsberg! "

 

NAME: Michael Brown

POSITION: Director: Federal Emergency Mgmt. Agency

SALARY: $145,600/year

TESTIMONIAL: " I just love my FEMA corner office with the mahogany

furniture and the perky little secretary. And thanks to CronyJobs, my

Florsheim penny loafers have slipped in their last pile of Arabiac

horse dung! "

 

NAME: Lester Crawford

POSITION: Commissioner, Food & Drug Administration

SALARY: $165,000/year

TESTIMONIAL: " The problem with being a Christian Taliban veterinarian

is you rarely get to flex your muscle on human vaginas. But thanks to

CronyJobs, I banned contraception that might have spared millions of

slutty little whores the punitive agony of childbirth! "

 

NAME: Cheryl Halpern

POSITION: Chair, Corporation for Public Broadcasting

SALARY: $157,500/year

TESTIMONIAL: " Having overseen major Federal propaganda projects like

Radio Marti in Cuba and Radio Free Iraq, I'm proud CronyJobs picked me

to make NPR 'fair and balanced.' Who says donating $319,250 to the GOP

is a thankless task?! "

 

NAME: Mark McClellan

POSITION: Administrator, Medicare & Medicaid Svcs.

SALARY: $143,250/year

TESTIMONIAL: " First I was an Economic Advisor, then Commissioner of

the FDA, and now I decide which oldsters and poor folks live and die.

If I get bored again, I think I'll swap CronyJobs with my baby brother

Scott! "

 

NAME: Julie Myers

POSITION: Director: Immigration & Customs

SALARY: $122,500/year (pending)

TESTIMONIAL: " OMIGOD, like, CronyJobs is SOOOO AWESOME! After I helped

Ken Starr crucify that semen geyser Bill Clinton, I got hired in the

Bush White House. And I made coffee so well there, now I get to manage

the 20,000 agents who keep America's borders as impenetrable as the

boss's daughters! "

 

NAME: Joe Allbaugh

POSITION: Director: Federal Emergency Mgmt. Agency

SALARY: $145,600/year

TESTIMONIAL: " Rather than getting hung up on silly red tape like

'experience', CronyJobs worked hard to fulfill my dream: getting carte

blanche to destroy Jimmy Carter's FEMA – on an easy flex-schedule that

didn't make me sacrifice any quality time with my hair! "