Guest guest Posted September 19, 2005 Report Share Posted September 19, 2005 D Mon, 19 Sep 2005 08:48:32 -0500 Fw: WAL-MART APPLICATION... WAL-MART APPLICATION...This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny.........you gotta love it!!! NAME:------ George Martin SEX: -----Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one that will cooperate) DESIRED POSITION:---- Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY:---- $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION:---- Yes. LAST POSITION HELD:---- Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS SALARY:---- A lot less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:---- My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: ----It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:--- Any. PREFERRED HOURS:---- 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?---- Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?---- If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?----- Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?----- I think the more appropriate question here would be " Do you have a car that runs? " HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?---- I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me. DO YOU SMOKE?---- On the job - no! On my breaks - yes! WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?---- Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. NEAREST RELATIVE----....7 miles DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?----- Oh yes, absolutely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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