Warning: Crude and Raw Language. A Rude Note of Encouragement To College Republicans

[Guest guest]

" ricky peterson "

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 20:15:47 +1000 (EST)

A Rude Note of Encouragement To College Republicans:

 

 

 

 

A Rude Note of Encouragement To College Republicans

 

 

http://rudepundit.blogspot.com

 

A Rude Note of Encouragement To College Republicans:

Hey, crazy College Republicans, it's time to step up

for Uncle Sam, Lady Liberty, and good ol' George W.

Bush. Ya see, with recruitment for active military and

reserves (which, these days, is like active military

but without things like benefits) going down faster

than a hot coed at a Campus Conservatives for Christ

informational mixer, the brave boys and girls in

uniform need some new blood to be spilled on the hot

streets of Basra and Baghdad.

 

Man, you College Republicans are da bomb, a'ight, with

your Talking Points on Terror that say, " U.S. forces

are now working alongside Iraqi security forces to

defeat terrorists in militants in the country. America

and our coalition forces helped to end the Saddam

Hussein's brutal regime, and now that we are helping

to promote peace and democracy, the American people

are safer. " And, in your Muslim Outreach section, you

say, " Due to the strong leadership and compassion of

our President, the country of Iraq is securing a

stable and prosperous future despite those who would

thwart the progress. " Well, sweet shit, 18-22 year-old

motherfuckers, the campaign is over. Your re-elected

President o' compassion needs your tender, young flesh

to continue the march to a free Iraq. Otherwise, well,

shit, the terrorists win, no?

 

College Republicans National Committee Chair Eric

Hoplin, you'd be a fine example to the rest of your

organization if you went down to the local Army office

and said, " Sign me up, Sarge. And put me on the front

lines. " Or howzabout Minnesota College Republican

Chair Jake Grassel. Just hop on over to the St. Paul

Marine recruiting office. Imagine how much the ladies

would like you in the dress blues.

 

Goddamn, Stephen Puetz, Chairman of the California

College Republicans, you've been so busy getting

thousands of fine, delusional youngsters to join your

group, as well as working to suppress the free speech

of Michael Moore and meeting your wife at a Bush

volunteer get-together that you forgot that there's a

way to really put up or shut up: ask your Vietnam vet

Dad how the Navy can make a man of you. Or you could

just take a page from Michael Davidson's bio - he's

running for chair of the CRNC and " hopes to join " the

Marines in 2007.

 

Al Jiwa at Yale, Evan Baehr and Rachel Rawson,

daughter of a Marine, at Princeton, don't just leave

it up to the officers at non-Ivy schools. Show

everyone a Yalie can take shrapnel in the leg like a

UConn student. Show the other College Republicans over

there how to scream in Latin that it fuckin' burns and

goddamn why are we here and, fuck,

don't-let-me-lose-the-leg.

 

The 56th Annual CRNC Convention starts in a little

over a week. There, fine speakers like Tom DeLay,

Grover Norquist, and David Horowitz will whip you into

a fevered frenzy of Bush-worship masking as

patriotism. Surely, you will bow your heads and pray

for the lost and injured in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Surely, you will parade the few of your own who have

been there. Surely, you will spend time honoring all

your heroes who went to Vietnam, like DeLay, Dick

Cheney, George Bush, Karl Rove...oh, wait. That

explains why you're College Republicans.

 

// posted by Rude One @ 10:26 AM