18 April 2005 - Bush Won Papal Vote!

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Fri, 20 May 2005 12:06:21 -0700 (PDT)

Subject:Fwd: Bush Won Papal Vote!

 

 

 

A friend sent this to me.....

 

 

Bush Wins Papal Vote

 

Reuters - 18 April 2005 0953 GMT

 

VATICAN CITY - In a turn of events that stunned Vatican officials,

U.S. President George W. Bush has been named to succeed John Paul II

as the next leader of the Catholic Church.

 

For the first time in history, the College of Cardinals employed

electronic voting machines to select the next Supreme Pontiff. Bush

won by a margin of 2,528 votes, despite the fact that only115

Cardinals took part in the process.

 

The machines, which were last used in the 2004 Ohio presidential

election, also registered minus 27 votes for Democratic candidate John

Kerry.

 

" It's a miracle! " cried Kenneth Blackwell, spokesperson for voting

machine manufacturer Diebold Corporation. " God has spoken. "

 

Supporters of Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, whom early exit polls! had

leading by a comfortable margin in the voting, demanded a recount. But

Blackwell said the voting machines, which had been modified to emit a

plume of white smoke when a plurality was reached, are unable to

produce a paper audit trail, rendering a recount impossible.

 

When informed of his victory, President Bush expressed surprise. " I

was not aware I was running for the popecy, " he said. " I wish people

would tell me these things. "

 

However, he added that he would be " honored and privileged to serve as

Supreme Pontoon for the rest of my natural life or until I die,

whichever comes first. "